Where you at?

Well, folks, all of a sudden, it got really hot 'round these parts. Chicago summers are all to brief and close to what I'd call unbearable. (I'm a spring person. And a fall person.) But, winter is so long and unbearable that we're all contractually obligated to squeeze what we can out of the summer whether we like it or not. If that means sitting outside in the blazing sun getting bitten to death by mosquitoes, that's just how it goes.

Last weekend M&I went to the local street fair. We went for the elephant ears but stayed for the heatstroke. A little girl looked covetously at my snowcone. Without thinking, I offered her some. Both her parents and I sort of died inside as she took a big bite.

Really excited about ma soeurs impending visit to the midwest AND a little time off work! It's been a long time (for both!)

Commenting at all time low - are you out there?

I like

A few things that made my day:


'ja ever see anyone rock gold lipstick like that?

and an awesome short story published on McSweeney's by my friend Liz!

a pox!

Went to see Drag Me To Hell. I was pretty cautious about going to see it because I don't like scary movies, but friends insisted it would not be scary-scary, but ridiculous and over-the-top, a-la-Evil Dead. It IS ridiculous, and it was fun to see it in the theater with a few drinks under our belts. Also it's very amusing to order tickets: Drag me to hell, please!

Despite the fact that its just a silly movie with some over-the-top "horror" gags, it nevertheless put me in mind of some serious thoughts, surely out of the purview of the film-makers (or, perhaps, exactly what they intended, who knows?)

My first reaction was (the Special K classic) a feminist reading. A young woman, on enacting the first rotten deed of her life - turning down an old gypsy woman for a loan - in an effort to make herself more appealing for the assistant manager position at her bank - gets damned... TO HELL! See, she gets punished for defying the cultural norms for women by exhibiting behavior both ambitious and not generous and kind. In the course of being cursed (to hell) by the gypsy, like, a gazillion things get pushed and thrown up into her mouth. Well, believe me, I could go on and on. Insert your own interpretation of the repeated image of the tortured young woman with all sorts of things forced into her mouth...

Second reaction was well, if you'll permit me a foray into religious talk - the movie is silly and ridiculous, mainly because the threat (that she's being, literally, dragged to hell) is not, presumably, pernicious, being, presumably, a myth. I have only recently decided that I don't believe in hell, and, honestly, used to take the whole thing fairly seriously, so, for me, it was actually quite interesting to see the subject (eternal damnation) treated lightly. Un-believing in something, it turns out, is a long process. Another subject on which I could go on and on, but maybe best not on the ol' blog.

Oh My

Oh my, what a weekend... M.'s grandma, as I've mentioned, is in failing health and moved to an assisted-living-type apartment about 6 months ago. This weekend we went to her house to begin the process of cleaning it out, so that it might be sold. She was there to help go through things, but, it was a difficult process, because aside from being frail and old, it was fairly agonizing for her to look at the mass accumulation of stuff from her life and make a decision about what to do with it. I can also tell you that it sure ain't fun on the other side either - to shove an object in front of an old lady and say, "Keep it? Trash it? Sell it?"

The whole thing was fairly torturous and we barely made a dent in the stuff. I'm not sure how this is going to work out.

I have a pretty bad habit of taking a relatively small problem (ie. our society doesn't have great options for our elderly) and ending up at total apocalypse (ie. we're all going to end up living in caves, illiterate cannibals). But, honestly, after that, I wanted to come home, take everything we own to a local shelter and start a self-sustaining garden in our 10x20 backyard because we're all GOING TO BE LIVING IN CAVES AND EATING OUR OWN SHOES SOON.

If anyone has some advise on how to handle the moving of grannies (emotionally or otherwise), I would be interested to hear it.

Up and The Fall

Saw a couple of great movies lately! Caught UP in 3D - absolutely gorgeous film and I highly suggest it. It has an unlikely plot, particularly for an animated film ostensibly for kids: it's about an older gentleman who's recently widowed and about to lose his home. Aside from awesome visuals, it's got a tight little plot and is sweet and heartwarming. The oldster, as you know from the trailers, attaches a bunch of balloons to his house and flies off, along with the local neighbor kid, who becomes, I don't think I'm ruining this, something of a surrogate child for him.We were there with our local neighbor kid, something of a surrogate child, who seemed a tad freaked out by some of the scenes and a bit overwhelmed by the 3D (she's one of those newfangled kids that hardly watches any television). Afterward she claimed to have "loved it". Auntie K may be a bit shy of inviting youngsters to the movie in the future, though.

Husband rented The Fall on blu-ray - it's another gorgeous film featuring The Pie Maker, which was alright by me. Reminded me of Alfonso Cuarón's A Little Princess, which you really must see. My affection for the Pie Maker grows ever stronger. Oh, hello. His next movie also has Colin Firth. Thump. Thump. Thump.

amazing

You know what never ceases to amaze me? How many people choose to live their lives like complete a-holes. It's like, no where in the path of life do certain people (you all know 'em!) slam on the brakes and, you know, turn around the jerk train.

*shakes it off*

I just watched the pilot of Glee and it's GD awesome. It's on hulu if you missed it. So what if they're totally ripping off Election? It's a really good movie.


I've also been listening to that Adele cd, 19, on permanent replay on my 'pod. My fave is "Best for Last" - OMG, that gal can sing! I also really love "Right as Rain".

Change of plans

Well, we were meant to go to Devil's Lake this weekend for a camping trip, but rain in Wisconsin caused us to cancel our plans. I was sad about it, but I suppose it would have been miserable:
Quick about face and instead went out for some fine dining and, I'm telling you, the best gnocchi in the entire world. Do you ever stress out about the correct pronunciation of the word gnocchi? I do. Merriam-Webster helps us answer all things (I say it the second way.)

So, last night after dinner, we drove our friends back to their place in The City around 11:30 and all these people were outside, walking around as if they weren't completely exhausted, like me and M were. I guess that's proof that we are now officially old and officially suburbanites, just how shocked we were by all those people!

anxious

Ho, boy, the last few days M & I have been very anxious because our own special one, Miss Kaya, hasn't been eating very much. I bet in the last week, before yesterday, she ate maybe 1/3 cup of food. We took her to the vet and, thank the dear goddess in heaven, there's nothing seriously wrong with her. After two trips to the vet, and a couple of injections, she's finally starting to eat again. Whew! I seriously thought I was going to loose my mind, I was so worried! She's still not feeling herself, but I think she's getting better.

In other news, I submit a new list of top 4 over-rated things. In lame attempt at humor, I think I offended 80% of people I know with my first one. My new list:

1. College degrees
   
2. Big boobs
   
3. Respecting one's elders
   
4. Crap, I forgot the other one
   

what is wrong with me?

angry

I was surprised to see another Pushing Daisies on my DRV last night - I thought we'd seen the last of that show. The best part was Kristin Chenoweth singing Hello. I've watched it like 6 times. I think this second season is really weak, esp. compared to the first, but I have to hand it to them with the costumes, the covers, and just plain being original.

Been very upset about the murder of Dr. George Tiller by what is nothing less than terrorism. What I find so hypocritical is how many anti-choice groups are condemning the murder, but, meanwhile, they promote this type of violence with their politics of hate. If they really condemned his murder they wouldn't stand for the everyday harassing and denigrating of the women and men who work, volunteer, support and fight for women's rights.

One of the many things I despise about the anti-choice extremists is that they don't give two shits about decreasing abortions. If they did, they'd actually support safe sex and organizations like Planned Parenthood, the largest provider of reproductive health care in the US. What they're more interested in doing is degrading the rights of women and promoting a culture of fear and shame. The murder of Dr. Tiller, in his church, exposes them for what they are.

live long

Oy, what a weekend. On friday night we had book club - it was really fun - review to come soon on my book blog, which, according to Google Analytics is 2xs more popular than this blog! So, you guys are totally missing out. ha.

Yesterday we saw the new Star Trek movie - I thought it was quite good although I kinda wish it had been a little more naughty. Like, Kirk and Spock and whatstheirnames are all kids, I would have enjoying seeing them act more like dumbasses. But, all in all, I thought it was a fun movie. Next I want to see UP - in 3D!

Today went to a friend's b-day party - had turducken brats - awesome.

Erg, weekend went by so fast.

Memorial Day Weekend

We had an absolutely fabulous weekend at my friend's family lake house in N. Indiana. There were nine friends, one big house, great food, lots of drinks, and I think it was about 10 degrees warmer than Chicago. I didn't wear shoes all weekend and my bathing suit was my main item of clothing. That's the life.

On Sat. we tried out the Miracle Berries that M & I brought along. Have you heard about these? You eat them, and then sour foods taste crazy sweet. I ordered the tablets because the berries are ridic expensive - it was really fun - you should try it. Our buffet included (l-r): Limes, radishes, grapefruit, onion, popcorn, diakon, carrot, pineapple, rhubarb and lemon. My faves were the lemon and the rhubarb - it was like a slice of pie. Oh, we also had apple cider vinegar, balsamic vinegar, Guinness and tabasco. It was awesome and hilarious! One caveat: fruit tastes good; beer tastes bad.
Otherwise we laid around on the dock, slipping into the water when we got too hot and lounging about on various screened-in porches, played a bunch of Rock Band, Celebrity, and mixed drinks.
Here's me and M enjoying a beautiful sunset.

priceless

Last weekend in Indiana there was lots of talk about who/when/where re: morel hunting. My aunt's husband (somehow not quite my uncle) said it was a "bad year" for morels, and he only found "five or six."

"Oh, that is pretty bad," I said.

"Pounds." Oh, come on.

Much was made of the sort of people who will shell out ridiculous amounts of money for morels. Well, my friends, M&I are exactly those kinds of people and today happily purchased 1/4 pound of mushrooms for $12. Yes, that's $48/lb, and worth every penny.

Hoosiers know there's one way to cook up your morels, and that's fried in butter:
Hello, my precious
flour and pepper bath

mmm...

Lunch!

Mamas don't let your babies

Had a great weekend in Indiana visiting our mothers and grandmothers. M & I made a nice brunch for everyone and I think it went pretty well. I only wish we had had more time and that my sister had been there too!

me da and his mother
M & his granny
me and my gran and mom. Eek! My hair makes me look like a crazy person...

I love lists

I happen to love making lists. Today, I was thinking to myself: I'm going to make a list of types of lists. While putting it together in my head, I happened to hear about another list, which is possibly better than my list: the Overrated list, apparently initiated by that rat bastard Christopher Hitchens. Hitchens supposedly said “the four most overrated things in life were champagne, lobsters, anal sex, and picnics.” I disagree with two out of those four things.

The list is not as easy to formulate as one might think. Do I include our ostentatious 42 inch, high def, flat screen television? No, it's obnoxious, but it's also friggin' awesome. Paris? No, I totally love Paris. Luxury cars? How would I know?

Special K's list of 4 Overrated Things
1. Orson Welles
2. Master's degrees
3. little children
4. Live music

What's yours?

Playing with fire

Dudes, that BofA stock I bought is like the smartest buy I ever made. I'm soooooo excited. I'm so excited I want to SELL SELL SELL! But, instead I have to wait like 20 years and then see if I can retire "early". I doubled down on it and guess what it's at today? 12.69! I bought that shit at $7, baby!

I know it's gauche to gloat about one's progress in the market and recreate conversations with one's mother online - this will surely end in tears with all of us living in caves with a rotten-leaf-based economy. But for now I've got that glorious feeling of excitement - that wonderful, early-nineties feel that I had before I uh, M & I lost our jobs and everything went horribly, horribly wrong...

such pretty eyes

Me: I saw Wolverine this weekend.
Mom: Oh, I don't know why you would go to that. The trailers are so loud.
Me: It was ok.
Mom: What is it, he's supposed to be a good guy, but it's like he has scissor hands?
Me: ha!
Mom: What's he like? 'I'm a good guy?' Scrape! Scrape?
Me: ha! ha!
Mom: He has those pretty eyes and then, what is it? He has scissor hands? And they cut through anything? A person? An airplane?
Me: ha!
Mom: And it's scrape! Scrape?
Me: Mom, that's hilarious, because, you know why? In the comic book, his hands make a noise like "Snikt! Snikt!"
Mom: Oh, snick? snick!
Me: ha! ha!
Mom: Well, Bud's been killing all sorts of animals and dragging them up on the porch. He left the head and tail of a chipmunk and I kept throwing it out in the woods and he kept bring it back.
Me: Gross! What was it like?
Mom: Oh, it wasn't that bad, he'd eaten almost everything. It was like... snick!

h1a1

I made the mistake of listening to some pundits last week and getting so upset about swine flu I had to go to bed early and go to my mental happy place. It didn't help that my place of business sent out an email that they had "been preparing for a pandemic for a long time" and then proceeded to inform us of the ways we were to be kept safe, which involved us covering our mouths when sneezing and frequently washing our hands.

I am of the opinion that informing grown people of things they should do out of common decency is completely useless if that person does not already do those things. For example, most restaurants have a sign in the bathroom that implores employees to "Wash hands before returning to work." Those people, and people who do not cover their mouths when they sneeze or cough, are not going to suddenly start acting like responsible citizens of the world because you ask them nicely. They are animals, and will kill us all one day with their filthy germs.

My "cousin" KHM has just about the only reasonable view of this whole thing I've heard. Check out her recent posts.

Snikt - no spoilers. No big ones.

Last night we saw Wolverine with a bunch of friends - it was so fun. The movie had gotten some really bad reviews, so our expectations were low, and, we were uh, pretty drunk.

Wolverine is the origin story, so we start with a wee-wolverine cub and his brother. As soon as they can grow facial hair, they start seeing the same barber and will continue to do so for, apparently, the rest of their lives. The two are something of professional soldiers until Wolverine gets kind of grossed out by his brother's obvious bloodlust. Then he moves to Canada, that great symbol of I'm-sick-of-war.
Some stuff happens, and Tim Riggins from Friday Night Lights shows up. He's ok, but unfortunately he doesn't make out with anyone. I totally saw Hugh Jackman's penis. I swear to you, every woman in the theatre giggled for like 5 straight minutes after seeing Jackman naked.

Many ridiculous things happen - this is entertainment, not art - more than one person falls to their knees and reaches their arms out and screams into the heavens as the camera pulls back. The silliest moment is small but the most intellectually insulting: Wolverine slashes through a metal wall in the shape of an "X" and the bits in the middle stay in place. Who do they take us for? Leave your brain at the door, don't forget your flask! Have fun!

Gluton

Something I find very interesting lately is how everyone, including myself, seems to have forgotten how terrible X3 was. I mean, it was really, REALLY terrible. And yet, something comes over me when I see these Wolverine commercials, and I will, yes I will, be in line for opening night, possibly wearing false gigantic sideburns and shouting Snikt, Snikt!

How can they make two terrific X Men (I really prefer "X Person") movies, one so incredibly bad, and I'm still ready for more?

So far the summer-movie agenda isn't looking too promising... there's that weird Tarantino thing I'm not going anywhere near; Up, which looks stupid but it's Pixar so I have hope; and - nuthin'. Don't get me started on Angels and Demons.

Lovely things?

I got my hair done - it's much lighter than it looks in this picture, but, just in case you miss looking at my mug...I shamelessly photoshopped out a pimple from my chin.

Do you miss What's In My Garden? I do. For better or for worse, we can identify just about everything that grows up in our yard. Aren't these gorgeous?
It's been raining cats and dogs all weekend but I don't really care 'cause it gives me a chance to wear my rainboots.