Wolverine is the origin story, so we start with a wee-wolverine cub and his brother. As soon as they can grow facial hair, they start seeing the same barber and will continue to do so for, apparently, the rest of their lives. The two are something of professional soldiers until Wolverine gets kind of grossed out by his brother's obvious bloodlust. Then he moves to Canada, that great symbol of I'm-sick-of-war.
Some stuff happens, and Tim Riggins from Friday Night Lights shows up. He's ok, but unfortunately he doesn't make out with anyone. I totally saw Hugh Jackman's penis. I swear to you, every woman in the theatre giggled for like 5 straight minutes after seeing Jackman naked.
Many ridiculous things happen - this is entertainment, not art - more than one person falls to their knees and reaches their arms out and screams into the heavens as the camera pulls back. The silliest moment is small but the most intellectually insulting: Wolverine slashes through a metal wall in the shape of an "X" and the bits in the middle stay in place. Who do they take us for? Leave your brain at the door, don't forget your flask! Have fun!
4 comments:
So you say you were "Pretty Drunk!", just how drunk is that? How many before the movie drinks did you have? And did you take some drinks into the movie like some people take candy bars in?
I applied the tricks I learned in childhood with candy to adulthood with my flask.
I've found alcohol improves my appreciation of a great many of Hollywood's offerings. Unfortunately, it also tends to make me a rather, uh, sophomoric and outspoken critical commentator...
I love how inquisitive Dad is about K getting her booze in. Dad- how did you manage to eat 3 bags of popcorn in 2 hours during your movie? Did you and Mom take turns going for the refill- or did you just dump it in her purse during the previews and run out for more or where you like chipmunks with it filling your cheeks?
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