Somebody stop me!

I just can't stop blogging about American Idol. What is wrong with me? (Last night M said, "Blogs are so 2005." and I said, "Blogs are forever!" and M. said, "I'm going to write that on a t shirt and give it to you." Now I really want that t-shirt!) My sister rather astutely pointed out that when Randy doesn't like a song, he'll ask them a question like, "How you doing tonight, dawg?" instead of "Listen up, dawg..." She was dead right on that one, folks. Re: last night's American Idol, all I can say is "How you doing?" I thought pretty much every single song kind of sucked for this one reason: No one can sing a Dolly Parton song like Dolly Parton. Her voice is just so sweet and perfect and full of expression, I'm crazy about her.

Last night really exemplified that je ne sais pas of the difference between a good cover and mere karaoke, 'cause I thought all those songs just sounded like karaoke. IMHO, there are only two covers that come close to being good covers of her songs - the ridiculous and dated I Will Always Love You by Whitney, who nevertheless knocks it out of the park at the end, and a Jolene, by Mindy Smith from this dumb album called Just Because I'm a Woman, which is a bunch of people singing Dolly Parton's best songs not half as well as Dolly.

Viva la Dolly!

New Look

Spent a few hours today updating the "look" of Agoraphobia and Bookish. Have been wanting to do that for a while and turns out it wasn't difficult at all. I used these two guides to help. Let me know what you think!

And here's a little blast from the past to show you how much things have changed! That's my sister, me, Mac the cat, and my bro. How about those leg warmers, right?!? Check out the new Top Five, too!

Winter Luau

Even as snow still lay on the ground we had our Winter Luau. I thought it went off marvelously, despite the fact that M had a little cold and that we incurred the wrath of karma by jacking up the heat to 83 degrees during Earth Hour. (I felt really bad about that.) Ironically, our coat rack fell right out of the wall due to the weight of everyone's winter coats. Isn't that funny? We served Mai Tais and Miehanas and went crazy decorating with paper umbrellas and garnishes.We dragged the patio umbrella into the dining room to create a make-shift lanai.
Me and my galfriends in our finest faux-flowers...

Top THIS

There's this television show called Top This Party (or maybe Top That Party) where ridiculous people throw ridiculous parties with the help of semi-witless party planners. At the beginning of each show, the party planner asks the host how much they're willing to spend on the party, and they usually lean back, and with a great show of braggadocio, say, "I don't think we could do it for less than ten." They mean, of course, ten THOUSAND dollars, otherwise a rather large percentage of say, my total educational cost. And in each show, there's some ridiculous element, like a giant snake or an entrance by helicopter that almost doesn't happen because of the witlessness of the party planner, and the host goes totally ape shit and claims that the whole party will be ruined if it doesn't work out.

This is all background information.

Tonight we're having a Luau, and the ridiculous element is a stuffed pig on a spit, without which, I'm pretty sure, the whole party would be completely ruined. I enlisted my friend C, Master Thrift Store Shopper, to assist me in finding a stuffed pig. She asked me, "How much are you willing to spend?" I leaned back in my chair and said, "I'm willing to go as high as three." She knew what I meant.

Certain people (like a certain husband) said it couldn't (or was that "shouldn't"?) be done. But I think it looks pretty awesome. Top That!

Pop

Today I listened to a really great This American Life called Testosterone. TAL is simply a MUST-HAVE 'cast for your 'pod, yo. There's a bit where they interview a dude who used to be a woman and got massive doses of testosterone, and then everyone on the show had their levels tested and were shocked by the results. It's so interesting how people perceive the relationship between testosterone and manliness. Of course, I think gender is merely a construct, but I still found the show crazy interesting.

Watched the How I Met Your Mother with Britney. There seems to be a bit of buzz about how she didn't suck. I thought she was as good as any high school theatre actor. Apparently the national bar is very low, Britney! And why can't Alyson Hannigan just be Willow?

In American Idol News, I really dug Jason Castro's Fragile, and I really liked WhatshisName Cook's Billy Jean (I almost know their names now!) Ugh, how about Dingaling singing I'm Proud to Be An American... uh... what? Let that be a lesson to all of us - if you're a no-talent singer on a national show and about to be kicked off, just pull out a jingoistic song about freedom and ask them to put a humongous American flag behind you for the whole thing.

Seriously, does anyone know how they choose the songs and make the arrangements? Surely these kids don't do it all by themselves in a week, right? You know what drives me absolutely bats? How those girls in the front wave their arms back and forth. If two of them are on the same beat, may I be struck by lightening right now... (still here.) They look like a bunch of dang sea monkeys.

I JUST want to have fun

I went to see my beloved hairstylist, Brad, and finally got the blonde hair I've been wanting.

Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day

My sister and I saw Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day in LA. I love watching movies in California, everyone just seems to take them so much more seriously there. Also, I like clapping when the movie's over. At the theatre we went to, they had costumes from the show on mannequins in the lobby. Somehow that greatly increased my film-watching pleasure. It's a pre-war story, so the costumes are absolutely gorgeous constructed pieces - fabulous hats and amazing art nouveau sets.

Like an old fashioned comedy of manners, Miss Pettigrew Lives for Day is the story of penniless Miss Pettigrew (Francis McDormand), a disapproving, uptight, daughter-of-a-minister who, if she wants to eat, must work as the social secretary of an aspiring actress with more relaxed morals, Delysia Lafosse (the very charming Amy Adams). Miss Pettigrew finds herself shaking her own convictions to help Delysia juggle her boyfriends while Delysia works to make Miss Pettigrew more presentable, thus transforming her from the dowdy, unkempt matron to a well-coiffed companion.

All of that would have added up to a bit of fluff if the movie didn't take place on the dawn of WWII. The older, (British) characters look on with dread of anticipation while the younger ones are merely caught up in the excitement and naivety of impending war time. I'd recommend it to just about anyone, especially if you like a good costume.

Happy Easter

Look at this little rabbit!We're off to the baptism of nephew #2 this weekend. Peace!

Home Again

I've returned, tanned, after a relaxing and restorative vacation with my sister and nephew in California. I had a great time, but I'm happy to be home again with a certain husband and a certain cat.

Here's how hard Milo cried when he found out I was leaving:

Holidays

What a whirlwind of holidays - first it was Pi Day (3.1415927) on 3/14 (M. and his coworkers celebrated with a piece of pie at 1:59 last year), then the Ides of March, now St. Patrick's Day, which is something of a ridiculous holiday in Chicago. It's not unusual for people to take off the day after St. Patty's Day, anticipating a serious hangover. St. Patty's always sneaks up on me, but old school Chicagoans anticipate it like Christmas.

Yesterday we went to the Kara Walker Retrospective at the Hammer Museum - great show.

This morning Milo seemed really interested in my coffee, so I held it so he could investigate. He stuck his hand in and then licked his hand (it was lukewarm) - then he did it like 20 times while I giggled myself silly and C. watched in horror. I said, "Did you ever see anything like it?!?" and she said, "No, I never saw a grown person give a small child coffee."

We're all off the airport tomorrow - I'm back to the Icelandic Hinterland and C & M are going to Florida. I'd better go get in some more sunshine time before I leave.

Oh, there's a fun Top Five up, go check it out!

The days continue in a sunny, warm blur of a sweet young nephew and the (requisite) afternoon cocktail. C and I amuse ourselves with American Idol - was sad to see whathisname go last night, but mostly just because he looks like the type of guy I would have liked to make out with in college.

Oh, here's a funny story - my brother and my dad's birthdays were this past Monday (Happy Birthday!) - I told my dad on the phone that M and I had gotten him tickets to see the Cubs soon. So, he asks me, "Do you know who they're playing?" and I say, "Yeah, the Patriots."
He says, "How about the Padres?" and I say, "Maybe. I think it starts with a 'P'."
He says, "Well, honey, the Patriots are a football team."

Turns out it's the Pirates, Daddy-o! Hope that'll be fun.

And then I got pooped on

It took a little time for a certain nephew to warm up to me (and, just possibly, vice-versa). I have a dry wit that not all tiny people appreciate. Only mommy's hug, it seemed, was one that would cease, say, a peeling screech that melted the brain. Finally, this weekend, Auntie K was trusted enough by the youngster to be held not just when he was half asleep. Lo, did I find myself holding the baby for about an hour at 5AM so my poor sister could get a little sleep. It was both incredibly sweet and mildly disgusting to feel his little mittens touching my arm as he deposited a puddle of drool down my cleavage.

Speaking of disgusting, yesterday we were sitting together - he was wearing a diaper and a "one-sie" - and when I picked him up, he'd pooped on my pant-leg.

Update!

Well, the big news is that a certain nephew took his FIRST STEPS last night! My sister was darned excited and so was I when I realized what was going on. He took about three steps to C. out on the patio, then he did it again inside about half and hour later, then a bit later he took approximately five steps. We should try to catch it on film since the old man's out of town... But, if you want to picture it in your mind, it looks something like a miniature King Kong lurching toward his mother.

My visit to the poolside resulted in an early-March sunburn. Not to bad but I'm a little pink, my skin having been completely deprived of sun for lo, these many months. I think I'm going to head out and get a nice California burrito for lunch.

Reality

I enjoyed another morning on the patio that was heavenly hot. Ah, I think it's only 70ish, but compared to Chicago, it's tropical. Last night my sister had a book club meeting (I wrote about it on my book blog). I'm totally starting a book club when I get home!

C. and I watched the boys sing on American Idol. I like watching that show, but I wish the judges were better. Simon is the only one with any thing to really say, the other two never offer anything constructive. They should get some music people that really know what they're talking about. Like, on Project Runway, who could be more brilliant than MOB Michael Kors and Nina Garcia? (I can't wait to hear what Victoria Beckham has to say - don't tell me who won, we haven't watched the finale yet!!!!) And, Tyra's a complete lunatic, but at least she, Nigel, Miss J, and now Paulina Bitchzkova have expert and inspired things to say about (of all things) modeling.

Well, the poolside is calling my name - I'm off!

When the going gets tough...

Chicago seems to just be getting colder and colder. February finally took me out in the end, I got a bad cold and we even had to cancel our Winter Luau. There comes a time when a girl must face facts, pack her bags, kiss her beloved husband goodbye, and jump on a plane for warmer climes.

Lo, did I find myself sitting on a patio, in the sun, with my coffee. No flannel-lined pants, no sweater, no coat, no fur-lined hat, no socks, no boots, no gloves, no scarves.

My sister's place has changed a lot since the last time I was here P.B. (pre-baby). Their once clutter-free house now has a various pile of toys, actual items on the counter tops, and there's a child-shaped monkey permanently attached to her leg. That's not the only change. Murphy tried to romance me in the bed last night - C. shouted "That's not how we show affection in this house!" Ah, we're peas in a pod. When dogs at the shelter I used to volunteer at misbehaved, I would yell, "That is NOT APPROPRIATE!"

In other news, thrilled that HC rocked it in Texas and Ohio! Yeah!

Bring your own bag

The best answer to "Paper or Plastic?" is "Here! I brought my own bags!" Plastic bags are particularly gross, they're made of a non-renewable resource, petroleum, and they cause all kinds of problems. San Francisco banned plastic bags recently, as well as Bangladesh (where plastic bags were causing flooding problems) and some areas in Alaska. In Ireland, you have to pay extra for a plastic bag, a move which lowered bag consumption by 90%.

Why wait for your government to ban or charge you for a plastic bag? Just stop using them. Canvas bags are really cheap, and you've probably got a few laying around your house anyway. It's also really easy to sew a fabric bag that you can use over and over again (I've been wanting to try this one.) Canvas shopping bags also make great gifts! They also hold a lot more groceries than plastic bags (thus reducing your trips back and forth between the car and the kitchen).

For me, the only hard part about using canvas bags is remembering to take them to the store - so I keep them right by the door, and a lot of times I take them out to the car and leave them in the back, so I've always got them.

Check out these facts from the Sierra Club:

Reusing a bag meant for just one use has a big impact. A sturdy, reusable bag needs only be used 11 times to have a lower environmental impact than using 11 disposable plastic bags.

In New York City alone, one less grocery bag per person per year would reduce waste by 109 tons and save $11,000 in disposal costs.

Well, that ends the official Green Week on Special K, but will certainly not be the end of my sanctimonious preaching about being green. The things I posted about this week are just my own initiatives for the year to decrease my footprint. It doesn't take much to make a big difference. I hope y'all are also doing your best to protect the planet - leave a comment about your own green moves if you like, or host a Green Week on your blog. Peace!

just do it

(comic by Natalie Dee)

Check out the new Top Five!

DIY Laundry Soap

Commercial laundry detergents don't list the ingredients (go ahead, check), and that makes me a little nervous. It's fairly certain they contain nasty things like sulficants and possibly phosphates, which is really bad for water supplies. I had been using Seventh Generation, which does list the ingredients, but it's gd expensive.

I made my own laundry soap (found on Modern Cottage). It was super-easy to make, really cheap, and works really well. Here's how to make it:
1 cup Borax
1 cup Washing Soda
2 cups grated soap (Ivory, or Fels Naptha)
and, if you want, some oxy clean (1/4 cup)
I found all this stuff at my local Jewel, also at Dominicks.
Grating the soap is really easy - even easier than cheese. The whole thing took less than 5 minutes to make

Guess how much you use? Only 1-2 tablespoons per load! But, I'm telling you, it really cleans the clothes. I put in a load of clothes I hate to TELL you how smelly, but it came out smelling like sunshine.

Oh, get this... use (what else?) VINEGAR for "fabric softener". I put in 1/4 cup in one of those Downey balls and throw it in. Rest assured, your clothes won't smell like vinegar! Turns out commercial fabric softeners, aside from being kind of useless, are really bad for the environment. Vinegar rinses right out, reduces static, is a brightener, and also if you have hard water, it helps keep your pipes squeaky clean.

Let me know if you make it! I think it's great!

Green Week

It's green week on Agoraphobia, and for no good reason (aside from, you know, like trying to make the world a better place) I'm gonna blog about green stuff all week. Lately I've been having some problems with cleaning products. Whenever I cleaned, I got a really scratchy throat and felt kind of sick from the fumes. So, I did some research and it turns out you can clean your entire house with vinegar. VINEGAR! You can get like a gallon for about 4 bucks (you want White Distilled), so it's a major savings. I just waited until my reg. cleaner ran out and filled it with half vinegar, half water. For those of you worried about killing germs - rest assured it gets the job done. Something about the acidity level.

Don't worry, it won't stink up your house with the smell of vinegar. Sure, it smells for a sec when you spray it on, but then it goes away. For sure it doesn't linger like nasty household cleaners you get off the shelf. It's also cool because now instead of having a bunch of different cleaners under the sink, I've just got a big jug of vinegar.

BTW, if you clean your windows and mirrors with vinegar (you certainly can!), the first time you'll need to clean them with a bit of soap and water because Windex leaves a residue on the surface that streaks, so you just have to clean it off the one time.

Movies, movies, movies!

I gotta tell ya, there's nothing quite as painful as sitting at home, unemployed, in your jammies, as it approaches noon, watching your former classmate in a designer dress, elegant up-do, and a body that appears to be in even better shape than when she was a teenage cheerleader do the pre-Oscar show on the E channel. Ah, but I couldn't be happier for her...

Friday I saw the documentary The Rape of Europa (sounds like good times, right?). The book by the same name by Lynn Nicolas (1994) was quite influential for the type of work I do at the museum. Hitler had a plan to create a huge national museum with what he considered the finest art in the world and had gigantic stockpiles of looted art stored around Germany. If you're interested in that period and want to learn more, I'd highly suggest this movie.

Last night we saw Be Kind Rewind - the new Michael Gondry movie with Jack Black and Mos Def. Like Gondry's other films (The Science of Sleep, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Human Nature), this movie is fanciful and, in parts, absurd - but it's really fun and a celebration of how movies can unite people. That's one of the things I love about going to the movies - sitting in a crowd and experiencing group emotion - preferably laughter - is really the only reason to go to the movies anymore (when our home theatre options just keep getting better and better).

Something I thought was interesting was that this is one of the most racially integrated movies I've ever seen without being about racial integration. Mostly it's sad that such a thing is unusual, but I applaud Gondry for the casting choices - and it only makes sense for such a joyfully inclusive movie.

My favorite thing about Be Kind Rewind was the inventiveness and creativity in low, LOW budget film-making (by which I mean a couple of kids in their backyard with a vhs camcorder.) Gondry and his team use some cool techniques to harken back to those nostalgic days of yore when we watched movies on vhs tapes (and liked it!) Pay close attention to costumes and sets for some homespun details and nifty diy effects.

There's a line by Jack Black who says something like, "You guys, stop arguing! While you're yelling at each other, you're wasting time when you could be watching this movie!" Which sort of gets at the heart of the movie. I'm not saying watching movies together will solve the world's problems (and in this movie, making movies specifically does not solve their problems) but it does provide a way for us to create and maintain a human bond with strangers.

If DeBordian Perruque Picked the Oscars!

Best Actress
Ellen Page- Although I actually think Ellen Page delivers a great teenage hipster-nerd/know-it-all performance, I would normally look for awards to go for to an actress with a role with more... um, range and gravitas? But Page works really well with the talent that surrounds her in Juno, and furthermore, was evidently pivotal in the creation of the soundtrack. Special K has already noted the recent interview with The Washington Post: "I call myself a feminist when people ask me if I am, and of course I am 'cause it's about equality, so I hope everyone is. You know you're working in a patriarchal society when the word feminist has a weird connotation." I gotta say, she seems like a cool and smart young woman. While there were some other great performances out there, Ellen Page was just so integral to the way that the movie developed that the award should be hers.

Honorable Mention: Amy Adams in Enchanted

Best Actor
Tobey Maguire deserves some credit for a great run as Peter Parker/Spiderman. I really liked all the Spider-Man movies, and Spider-Man 3 was a good ending to the trilogy. Maguire doesn't seem to make a lot of movies, but he owned the iconic role of Peter Parker. I personally loved the strut-scene, but I think he also captured the dark as well as the dork in the character. I doubt there will ever be another character that had as much to offer Maguire, or that there's another actor that will fit Peter Parker so well.

Honorable Mention: Simon Pegg in Hot Fuzz, Matt Damon in Bourne Ultimatum

Best Supporting Actor
James Marsden, Enchanted
It's slim pickings here, so I'll just re-iterate that Enchanted is a fun, silly send-up of the Princess Genre. James Marsden has a consistent willingness to dive headfirst into an earnest goofiness I always get a kick out of. It'd be great to see him actually get some roles besides Cyclops, but at least Cyclops had the good sense to kick the bucket minutes into the crushingly awful X3. It's tough to leave out the carefully crafted irresponsible character that Jason Bateman put together in Juno, but Marsden just performs with such glee.

Honorable Mention: Jason Bateman in Juno, Michael Cera in Juno

Best Supporting Actress
Allison Janney, Juno

I've been an Allison Janney fan ever since 1999. I most remember her role as Ms. Perky in 10 Things I Hate About You, but she was also great in Drop Dead Gorgeous and American Beauty in that same year. Evidently she was amazing in the West Wing, but here she has a great turn as Juno's dad's second wife. Janney has a nice little role in Juno with some meaty bits that she just devours.

Honorable Mention: Jennifer Garner in Juno

Best Director
Paul Greenglass for The Bourne Supremacy.
I was no fan of the grainy & shaky quick-cut cam that was omnipresent in the last Bourne movie, but Greenglass thankfully ditched most of that for enjoyable action sequences packed around a solid continuation of the Bourne character development and themes. It was great to get my catharsis in the theater in seeing a good soldier grow a conscience and beat the system, but the Bourne movies have now become the only action films I really enjoy.

Honorable Mention: Wes Anderson for Darjeeling Limited

Best Picture
Juno

Even though Juno is an unrealistic, crowd-pleasing, glib "indie" film that's nominated for real life awards, and it is even #57 on the stuff white people like, it is actually a really good film. The first few minutes of patter give way some really interesting and funny conversations, and there's a certain immature depth of emotional experience to be found here as well. It's also really funny, has a great and appropriate soundtrack, and I think that it, overall, is an accurate painting of teenage experience. The supporting cast is outstanding, and yes, I admit that Juno was the only film I saw last year. Enjoy your schaudenfreude as you laugh at my pathetic attempt at an awards ceremony. But at least I created, contributed something to the world... while you, you just criticize! Those who can't do, teach. Those who can't teach, criticize! Attica! Attica!
Okay, seriously, Juno's pretty great. Check it out.

Additional Bonus Category! Best Monster: The Host

The Korean movie The Host was often over-the-top silly, and incomprehensible in its character development, but the monster is totally worth the price of admission. And honestly, I think the Host was probably the best monster I've ever seen in a sci-fi/horror film.

If Greta Picked the Oscars

Best Actor and Actress, Best Supporting Actor and Actress
As far as acting goes, nothing really jumps out at me. I mean, I could give it to the rugged young English lad in Atonement, but that would only be because he's so deliciously dreamy. Or maybe it should go to the robots in Transformers, they are at least supposed to sound mechanical and stiff.

Best Director
Tim Burton wins for best director, I mean he just tries SOOOO hard, right?

Best Picture
I'll go with Atonement just because it is the first movie in a long time that I liked more and more as I thought about it instead of less and less.

Oh, Brad!

Arg. In order to save money, but to raise spirits, I went to the local beauty school to go blonde (a bit early - usually I do it in the summer, but I needed a change.) Why, oh why, didn't I go to Brad? Brad, who knows me, who knows how I like my blonde hairlights? Why? WHY?

It doesn't look bad, it's just not what I wanted. I took a picture of what I wanted! And, it took like four hours. Four hours for hair I didn't want! And, when I got home, all I wanted was a glass of red wine, but we're out of red wine! Arg!Luckily we're not out of coke and 151.

In other news, I've been gifted with a pair of lovely, handmade, wool socks! I thank you, K, and my toes thank you! And, in Oscar news (this is Oscar Extravaganza Week, after all), check out these awesome interviews with Ellen Page (fabulous, extremely bright, young, feminist, reader)* and all the Oscar noms, including Daniel Day Lewis, which is one of the most pretentious (and therefore hilarious) interviews I've ever heard.

*would it be lame if I carried around a pipe just like Juno?

mini-film festival

I found some of the nominated animated shorts - they are:
I met the Walrus (trailer)

The slightly gross Madame Tutli-Putli, a puppeted stop-motion with real eyes. (17 min. film)

Même les Pigeons vont au Paradis (Even Pigeons Go To Heaven) (8 minute film)

Moya Lyubov (My Love) - a sort of watercolor-y Russian short so boring I couldn't finish it (part 1, part 2, part 3).

Peter and the Wolf (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, about 30 mins, total)

If Special K Picked the Oscars

Best Actor
Will Smith, I am Legend. Because he's the last man on Earth, Smith really has to carry this film. Forced to battle his inner demons as well as the one's that have taken over the earth, Smith brings his usual wide range to the role. My favorite parts were the ones that were more human than hero.

Best Supporting Actor(s)
Owen Wilson, Jason Schwartzman, Adrian Brody, The Darjeeling Limited. Why shouldn't all three actors win Supporting Actor? A group of male actors supporting each other so well I've hardly seen before.

Best Actress
Ellen Page, Juno. Page's loquacious character has a lot of swagger, but occasionally her sarcasm (thanks to the brilliant script by Diablo Cody) falls away to reveal a young woman who is "dealing with things well above [her] maturity level." Like Molly Shannon in The Year of the Dog, her tight performance is for a character who wears a mask, when it slips aside, we glipse the insecurities she tries to hide. My favorite line (Up there with The Virgin Suicides, "Clearly, Doctor, you have never been a 13 year old girl.") is Juno's "I don't really know what kind of girl I am." Page beautifully portrays a very bright young woman trying to figure it out.

Best Supporting Actress
Tabu, The Namesake. The parents of Gogol (Kal Penn) really steal the show. The one-named Tabu is amazing as his mother, a young woman at the beginning of the film who's aging (beautifully!) by the end. Her moving performance and chemistry with her co-star was simply incredible.

Best Director
Craig Gillespie, Lars and the Real Girl. Truthfully, I don't know too much about film directing, but I do know I like this movie, and whoever made it collected a good story, great actors, interesting spaces and terrific performances, so I figure he did a really good job.

Best Picture
The Bourne Whatever. When it comes right down to it, when I go to the movies, I really wanna have a good time, some laughs, maybe *one* tear that I pretend I didn't cry, and I want a certain husband to go with me. Sure, I might go see the art-housey Margot at the Wedding and spend the rest of the night depressed and wishing I hadn't gone, and I'm through the blood-drenched dick flicks like No Country for Old Men and There Will Be (whatelse?) Blood. But a good, old-fashioned spy-type movie like the last Bourne movie really does it for me (as does a certain lead actor).

If Carrie Picked the Oscars

For the second year in a row, I haven't seem too many nominees. There was a lot of blood running this year, and I am a bit more squeamish than I used to be. No matter- if I could cast a ballot, I'd pick...

Best Actor
Remi, Ratatouille. That little blue rat (an his artist creator) captured all my attention with his wide range of emotion and truthful performance

Best Supporting Actor
Phillip Seymore Hoffman, Charlie Wilson's War. I just love that guy; I'm sure I'll agree with my decision when I see the movie through Netflix

Best Actress
Ellen Page, Juno. I only buy one DVD a year, and this will be it. In a year with not much going on in the theatres (without blood) I was happy this movie was out there.

Best Supporting Actress
Jennifer Garner, Juno. I think I may have liked her performance more than Page's. This is a sentimental vote. I love when I can see my emotions mirrored in someone's performance. Like that scene when she feels the baby, or she's talking about what the book says about painting the nursery, you get the idea.

Best Director and Picture
Atonement. This was a beautifully crafted film. I thought it would be another sappy love story (and that would have been fine) but there was this awesome twist and then another interesting turn. I didn't see anything coming- I love that.

8th Annual "If We Picked The Oscars"

I'm so excited to announce the kick-off of our EIGHTH year of "If We Picked the Oscars!" I've got some terrific guest hosts to join me, struggled a little bit with striking writers myself (hey, you guys, it's over!) and am ready to present to you, my valued reader, a collection of Oscar "picks" that have little or nothing to do with the actual Oscars, and sometimes even movies. Feel free to chime in on the comments and let us know what you think!

My first guest is your favorite sister and mine: Carrie!

Young again

Last night M and I actually went to a CLUB and watched a BAND, an activity we haven't engaged in for lo these many years. Back in MY day (the mid-nineties) we didn't stand around in smoke-free bars, waving our cellphones back and forth. Of course, also back in my day, we didn't have a lovely 3 course meal at a French restaurant, followed by REAL absinthe.
With wormwood and everything. Wee!

The band was Freezepop, and it was really fun. Not one Keytar but two. Never have I seen it played with such grace. Back in my day, drummers sat surrounded by untold numbers of drums and cymbals, but apparently all they do today is poke the buttons of a small plastic machine with their fingers. Freezepop's songs are ironic and kind of post-80s Euro-dance (can you tell I have no idea what I'm talking about?) M. and I were trying to describe the quality of the lead singers voice - look, I'm really not good at writing about non-visual things like food and music - I came up with, "She sings like she's not trying" and M. said, "It's like she doesn't care?" Which doesn't sound good, but actually, we both really love her voice. I thought they had a great attitude, jumping into the crowd and borrowing cameras to take pictures of the audience, letting the kids in the front row bang on the keytar like a bunch of monkeys. For some reason they closed the show with a couple of goofy covers, like The Final Countdown, which always reminds me of Gob, from Arrested Development, who reminds me of my brother. I couldn't believe all the youngsters knew the words!

1-100

For those of you keeping score, it is now February: 10, Special K: 2. We were supposed to get 2-3 inches of snow yesterday, but in the afternoon it started snowing, quite hard, and did not stop all night. We have at least 6 inches (in addition to the snow we already had, which covered a layer of slush, which covered a layer of ice). Everyone is wandering around at their wit's end, muttering out, "I've had enough!" and "This is getting old!" The fact that we will not actually experience anything like warm weather for approximately another 6 months is particularly depressing. I spent most of yesterday researching those special lights you shine on yourself if you have Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD? Come on!), which, it turns out, are really expensive.

Well, in order to fight the winter dulldrums, I'd like to announce a few upcoming blogging events to occur right here on Agoraphobia - next week, the annual If We Picked the Oscars, whereby "we" is myself and a few friends who have hardly seen any movies all year, much less the nominated films, who nevertheless regale you with our own elite opinions. The following week I'm planning to do a week of Green Blogging, and I invite you to do your own Green Blogging on your own website, and we'll all share our ideas about - you guessed it! Making the World a Better Place! Teaser: I'm about to make my own laundry detergent and test it out - I'll let you know on Green Week! (And now I bet you can't wait, right?)

And here's one more thing to amuse you during this dark, cold time, an awesome short film - check it out!

boo ya

Had a pretty quiet weekend sitting around on the couch (it was like negative 12 outside!) Actually played a lot of video games with my ol' man. We played Paradise City, which is actually pretty fun. I felt like Vince Vaughn and his buddies in just about every movie he's ever been in. (I'm not sure which one of us is Vince Vaughn.) It involves shouting BOO-YA! a lot. M.'s also got Motor Storm or something like that. He explained that it's simply not cool if you don't explode across the finish line. Just broke my No Film with Only One Women Rule and watched 3:10 to Yuma. Damn it, I have really got to stick to that rule! It gets me every time! If I wanted to watch a bunch of crap about moronic pressures of masculinity and the myth of the hero, I'd... well, explode my car across the finish line of Motor Cross.

Check out my lately ignored book blog for a couple of new posts, including one about six word memoirs - give it a minute and write your own!

February: 2, Special K: 1

I think it's hit the national news that we're suffering some pretty bad weather in Chicago, because "friends" from all over the country have been calling me up to tell me exactly how warm it is in their area. It snowed last week, which I told y'all about, then it snowed a little during the superbowl (3-4 inches). Then about half of all that melted, leaving behind several inches of slush that threatened to invade even the most steadfast of winter boots. It was through this sludge that I trudged downtown to work (for FREE!) yesterday, cursing, at every step, neighbors who had not shoveled their walks, conveniently forgetting that I had not actually shoveled MY walk. Lo, did I pass one kind soul out there shoveling his walk, and did I command my most colloquial of voices and utter, "God bless ya!" He scowled at me, and didst return his own colloquialism, "This is the definition of an uphill battle" saith he.

All of this might not have been such a drag if I did not, in fact, have an interview yesterday. One wants to arrive looking fresh and professional, not slightly soggy with hat head, in giant, wet boots, wearing a crumpled suit jacket. It snowed all day, if you can call the beady pellets of ice that fell from the sky "snow". By the time I got home what we had was approximately one foot of snow on top of 3 inches of sludge. I shoveled immediately.

This morning I heard the depressing news that the sun has shown in Chicago for a total of 11 minutes this month. Eleven. Minutes. Damn you, February!

Democratic Process!

Well, I just got back from voting in the primaries, and am now filled with both a feeling of satisfaction and an odd sense of wonderment. Make that wondering: wondering whether or not my vote will actually be counted. I was asked, so casually, that (all important) PaperOrPlastic question - PaperOrElectronic? I did some quick thinking: which was more likely to be counted properly? Paper? I said. That's good, right? The young man did not inspire confidence. Probably it'll be fine, he said. Probably?!? I marked my choice (H.C.), I slid it into the machine. It slid back out. I protested. I was assured that it was counted, even though a receipt came out that said Vote Not Registered or some crap.

Anyway, don't let any of this deter YOU, fine citizen, from going out and voting for the (democrat) of your choice. A certain husband's grandma tried to convince me why she doesn't vote and it only filled me with a boiling rage. You cannot convince me that you shouldn't vote (yes, helpless old women send me into a boiling rage). But, I just have to think: Jesus Effing Christ! For hundreds of years we've been voting in this country and still it's a friggin' cock-mess? I've seen high school prom queen elections with more integrity!

Here are four simple suggestions for a better voting system:

1. Dip voter's finger in ink, mark ballot. Beat inkless finger people in the street at end of day.
2. Arrive at voters' station, pick up jelly bean. Put it in jar associated with candidate. Have huge jelly bean party the next day.
3. Text 001 for Obama, 002 for Hilary. Ryan Seacrest hosts.
4. Have one STANDARDIZED, goddamn paper ballot that's used at every polling station in the US. Holy Frick! Do I have to do EVERYTHING?

Giants Win! (I like the Giants)

We had a really fun Superbowl party tonight - everyone was rooting for the Giants after it was explained that they are:

1. Not the Patriots
2. The Patriots are big jerks

I learned some really interesting stuff like after 9/11 the Patriots won the Superbowl on accounta some lame calls because they were like Team America or something. And also, that there are these two brothers, Mannings, and their dad was a football player too or something, and that he only dated really athletic women so his kids would be great football players. That's all supposed to be true.

So, because I am my father's daughter, I will now give you a wrap up of the end of the game: The best bit was definitely when that one guy caught the ball on top of his head and then held on to it even though he was being tackled like a pro-wrestler across someone's knee! And then, the Giants made a touchdown, and then, with something like 35 seconds left, the Patriots tried to make a touchdown, but, too bad, they couldn't do it. I think the Giants caught their super-long pass. And then, for some reason, the time was 01, then it was 00, then it was 02, then 01, then 00, then 01...00...01...00, and then everyone was starting to run on the field, then they dumped the gatoraide, then they cleared the field and stood there for ONE second, then they mobbed the field again, then a guy named something strange cried. I liked that part.

It was very exciting.

February: 0, Special K: 1

There's over a foot of snow outside in Chicago, but thanks to a kindly neighbor with one of those nifty shovel machines who does our sidewalks, I'm on top! Thanks to him, I had a renewed believe in humanity and the energy to do the back walk all the way to the trashcan, so a certain husband can throw out the trash later. (The kindly neighbor will find a bottle of wine chilling in the snow.)

Yesterday as I was trudging through the snow, gettin' kind of grouchy, I had to keep reminding myself that it was actually gorgeous, and fun. It was snowing perfect, Currier and Ives, Tahoe-quality snow, sparkly and light. Today I took the plunge and planted a snow angel outside my kitchen window. brrrrr!

It has somehow registered on my radar that the Giants are in the SuperBowl. Ha HA! I happen to have a Giants t-shirt from my San Francisco days, so now I have something to wear to our annual Super Bowl party, which is really just an excuse to eat Cheesy Poofs and (meatless) mini-pigs in blankets (nut free).
Ready to vote for your favorite (democrat!) on Tuesday? Get out the vote!!!

Blast from the past

Me and my cousins:
Little R., C., C., me, Jason, who's no longer with us, and S. in front.

Ikea Hack

You know those gigantaloid bags you buy at Ikea for $.50? Quite a while ago, K told me about her friend, a fellow crafter over Knit or Get Off the Pot, who pointed out how easy it is to make two bags from one. I love what she did with the otherwise not-very-useful bags. Just made these myself:
Ah, but what is that button and hook for? you ask. Why, I'll show you.
foldfoldfold
Ta Da! Handy ICOE bagwithinabag!

Anjelina Jolie Pregnant with Twins?!?!

I don't think I'll be able to handle it if Angelina Jolie is pregnant with twins. Excuse me, pregnant with Brad Pitt's twins, which is how everyone seems to be wording it. I'll never understand the obsession with celebrity baby stories - but it sure sells the rags, doesn't it? Nothing ruins standing in line at the grocery quite like the dimple-cheeked offspring of the starved. I like looking at pics of my nephews like nothing else, but, as everyone knows, there's nothing more dull than looking at pics of kids you don't know. I'm telling you, seriously, mark my words, in 13 years or so, we're going to see some major recriminations from today's wee little ones, when they start demanding residuals.

I found this lame-ass article by this woman who writes, "...I can’t deny the appeal that a celebrity’s status as a mother has on my interest in them. Maybe other people aren’t as simple-minded as I am, but what do I know? I’m just a mom." Seriously? I'm pretty sick of this I'm-busy-raising-my-kids-so-I-don't-have-time-to-use-my-brain-excuse that people like to trot out. What do we care what the children of the Cruises, the Britneys, the scary Nicole Richies and the Robertses look like? I mean, it's simple: if the kids are really lucky, they won't end up cracked out of their minds or under the parental care of Kevin Federline. But, more likely, they're going to end up pretty effed up, just like the rest of us, because not only do they live in a celebrity-obsessed culture, but they're the object of obsession.

Or maybe Jolie is selflessly, single-handedly trying to revive our dying economy (ie. baby "bump" rumors spur on sales of magazines, more women get pregnant to follow "trend" of making babies, buy whatever stroller the Jolie-Pitts are pushing their twins around in. Oh, excuse me, his twins).

In the News

The Onion has some awesome articles out right now, including Bill Clinton: Screw it, I'm Running for President. You KNOW that's what he's thinking... Area Eccentric Reads Entire Book is hilarious, but even more so when I noticed that the location is Greenwood, Indiana. One of their writers has got to be from IN; it seems to be a frequent locale in the stories. Happened to notice this old article from 2001, Garage Band Actually Believes There Is A 'Terre Haute Sound', which'll be sure to amuse anyone that's ever been a member or observer of the Indiana music scene.

In REAL news, my friend A. is featured in an article in the WaPo: A Colorful Haven for Artists and Activists. Check it out!

Do It!

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: Mac Matrix
(first pet & current car)

2.YOUR GANGSTA NAME: Chocolate Sugar
(fave ice cream flavor, favorite cookie)

3. YOUR “FLY Guy/Girl” NAME: K Ro
(first initial of first name, first three letters of your last name)

4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: Blue Dog
(favorite color, favorite animal)

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: Jean Bloomington
(middle name, city where you were born)

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: Roake
(the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first)

7. SUPERHERO NAME: The Black Cosmopolitan (Oooh - I like that!)
(”The” + 2nd favorite color, favorite drink)

8. NASCAR NAME: Corky Eugene
(the first names of your grandfathers)

9. STRIPPER NAME: Amarige Truffle (ooh!)
( the name of your favorite scent/perfume/cologne, favorite candy)

10.WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: Lee Dave
(mother’s & father’s middle names )

11. TV WEATHER ANCHOR NAME: uhhh... mom, do you know?
(Your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter)

12. SPY NAME/BOND GIRL: Autumn Narcissus (ooh, that's good!)
(your favorite season/holiday, flower)

13. CARTOON NAME: Strawberry Pantsies
(favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now + “ie” or “y”)

14. HIPPY NAME: Coffee Maple
(What you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree)

15. YOUR ROCKSTAR TOUR NAME: The Sewing Hailing Tour
(”The” + Your fave hobby/craft, fave weather element + “Tour”)

Watcha watchin?

God help me if I'm not spending the morning watching reality tv (free the writers!) I've got a few questions:

1. Are we supposed to believe that that dude's wife had a baby, and then he AND the wife dragged their one day old baby to an American Idol audition?

2. What heads of states do the contestants of Crowned: The Mother of All Pagents think they are going to dine with after winning the dubious prize of a reality tv show about bitchy mothers and daughters lacking even the integrity of say, Miss Teen USA (Poor Carson! How did he end up in the middle of that hot mess?)

3. Why was that mom "humiliated and embarrassed" for kissing her husband and taking her shoes off?

In other weak entertainment news, M and I attempted to watch Cloverfield, which I mistakenly thought was a Godzilla movie, and which I mistakenly called a King Kong movie. It turns out it is neither Godzilla nor King Kong. It is, however, quite similar to The Blair Witch Project, which caused me to throw up all night after I watched it. Part way through the completely handheld Cloverfield I started getting that old feeling again. Lo, did we stumble out of the theatre, moaning and clutching at the wall. Even though the movie was really boring and lame, I still wonder what predictable ending they went with - did they all get dashed to death at the last minute? or did they ride off in a helicopter into an uncertain future? Anybody know?

Blog for Choice 2008

Today's the 35 Anniversary of Roe v. Wade. While our rights are slipping through our fingers these days, it's important to remember the women who fought and are fighting for women's rights. Please remember, one third of American women have had an abortion by the time they're 45, so whether or not she's trusted you enough to tell you, chances are you know quite a few women who've had an abortion. Practice respect and sensitivity for a difficult and honorable choice.

MLK

An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

DVR Breakdown

Something got cocked up in our DVR so The Guy came this morning, and besides regaling me with tales of how much better he plays Guitar Hero when he's drunk, he gave me the bad news that we needed to replace the machine and all our recordings would be lost. Wah, all those 30 Rocks I'd saved! A Friday Night Lights only half-watched! And last night's American Idol, for which I had to suffer a certain husband making fun. I watched the Philadelphia one the night before. I don't know why that Simon guy gets such a bad rap. If you ask me, he's the most professional one of them all - Crazy and that other dude sit there snickering and poking each other in the ribs, but at least Simon has some decorum. You know what's interesting? The show was two hours long but I watched it in about 40 minutes, fast forwarding through commercials, anything with that Seacrest person, and any shots of the miserable hovels and tiny babies these desperate wannabes are anxious to escape.

In other news, there's a wet snow coming down outside, but K is warm and toasty inside, hiding from the world and all the nasty people out there who might take her DVR and tell her a singing career is simply not in her future.

Self-Serving Blog Shout Out

Yo, if you're not reading (and commenting) on Top Five, you're missing a good time! (This week: People You'd Invite to Dinner)

I wrote about this new batch of "bad girl" books (Gossip Girl and so on) on my book blog. Isn't it crazy what the kids are up to these days?

This I only WISH I'd written. (Thanks for the tip, C&D!)

PS - do y'all like my new foto over there, or does it make me look too chubby?

Right Wing Media Turns Me Into Clinton Supporter

The recent brouhaha over Hillary Clinton's "tears" after her touchingly (and ever so slightly) emotional response to a question ("How do you do it?") has got me rethinking about who I support for president...



I think she sounds sincere and honest, and that little speech, which has caused an commotion in the press (I think the Daily Show covered it well) has even
Feminists poking fingers at each other. Maureen Dowd's bizarre-o op-ed about Clinton's "crying" reeks with the discomfort of someone who can't stomach a powerful woman (odd, coming from a pretty powerful woman herself) with *gasp* feelings. It seems obvious to me, but people seem to forget that most people, even this guy, are at times "emotional". I just happened to catch a rerun of Sex and The City yesterday where Charlotte complains that one time she cried on the job and no one ever let her forget it. After being insulted, Samantha makes a bee-line for privacy before allowing herself to shed a tear. When men cry, Jesus Christ, isn't it touching? but when women cry, watch out! she's an unstable woman, likely to bleed all over the Oval Office.

The whole thing makes me nuts, particularly how she's referred to over and over again as "Hillary". God help me if I don't do it myself sometimes, it's so ingrained in our mentality. Does the media ever mention Barack and John? No, it's Obama, Edwards, and "Hillary" - it's a classic method of marginalizing women, and it's not acceptable. And, yes, yes, I know that even her campaign refers to "Hillary for President" but does that give the media free reign to refer to her by her first name while everyone is given the courtesy of their last name?

Gloria Steinem's NYT article was a tough pill to swallow, but mostly because what she wrote rings pretty true, whether we want to believe it or not. Steinem writes:

Gender is probably the most restricting force in American life, whether the question is who must be in the kitchen or who could be in the White House. This country is way down the list of countries electing women and, according to one study, it polarizes gender roles more than the average democracy.

I hate to say I've (until recently) been one of those women Steinem's worried about, who "hope to deny or escape the sexual caste system" because I've so far been throwing my (considerable - ha!) influence and support to Obama. Like many others, I thought that Clinton's ok, but not exactly the person I want as president. Why? I thought, maybe she's too shrewd or political, plays the game too much. But which man in the running isn't doing that right now? (Well, ok, Kusinich...)

Feministing has been making frequent posts all day in a "24 Hour Hillary Sexism Watch" that really make you wonder what century we're living in. Amidst all these ridiculous reactions to Clinton, from what she's wearing to getting a little misty-eyed when talking about how invested she is in changing this country for the better made me think, to quote an early feminist, Ain't I a woman?

Funny that the right wing media turns me into a Clinton supporter, but that's exactly what's happened. That's my SISTER they're talking about, and each jab that has to do with her gender makes me feel like myself and women everywhere don't stand a chance until we confront the caste system, like Steinem says, and support Clinton not just because she's a great candidate but also because she's a woman. I may not share every single one of her political decisions, but I want to see a woman president. And instead of waiting around for the perfect woman, why shouldn't I stand behind this one, who's brilliant, a Democrat, a Feminist, has a ridiculous amount of experience and is just maybe the perfect person to be our first female president?

Homemade

I wasn't the only one who was crafting away at Christmas time! Wanted to share with you these super-cool soy candles made by my friend G. She's a thrift-store shopper extraordinaire and found some really fabulous containers for the candles. I also got some mixed cds from friends C&D - have been incessantly listening to Ingrid Michaelson, Girls and Boys.Now, here's a blast from the past... saw some awesome jewelry made with Shrinky-Dinks on Etsy, and had to run out and buy my own. Here are some of the things I've made so far. Think will turn them into key chains or necklaces. Fun, huh? Hope my da' doesn't mind if I share this poem I wrote for him for Christmas:

You built a house in the tree
with wood from my Grandpa.
It was red, and peeling, and wonderful,
there was a ladder, and a trap door, and a pail
that we used to raise and lower things.
It was everything a tree house should be.

In the summer
we slept in the tree house
with neighborhood kids.
Well, we started the night in the tree,
looking at stars
listening to the silence of a sleeping street.
In the middle of the night,
or maybe nine-thirty in the evening,
we climbed down and went to our beds,
shivering.

Not along ago,
you and I tried to draw the tree house
together.
The challenge of perspective,
of point-of-view,
was too much.
How did we forget to take a picture
of your creation?

My grandma can barely watch old videos of her family
playing in the lake, tan and beautiful.
She avoids the screen.
“It doesn't capture,” she says, “How wonderful it was.”

Photographs don't tell the whole story.
We had dogs and days with no pictures
but I remember them well.
We never could have captured
how fun it was.

Monkeying Around

Here are some monkeys I made for a couple of young friends. I was quite pleased with how they came out and enjoyed making them. These are made from the classic "Red Heel Sock", locally made in Rockford, IL. I felt like something of a Native American because to make a sock monkey, you use all of the sock. These were the best instructions I could find online - you can make them with any kind of sock, if you wish.
I think he liked it!

We can be heroes

Happened upon this Hero-generator. My heroine, Wonder K, stays Warm with the help of her Trusty Companion, The Sympathetic Squirrel, and Smashes Patriarchy with her Feminist Hammer! (BTW, did anyone else watch Wife Swap tonight? God help me if I did.)
Make your a hero in your image here.

New Year, New Baby

Shortly after midnight last night my dad called with the good news that my sister-in-law had (finally, poor thing) given birth to a baby boy. His name is Nathan James and looks cute as a button. Look at that face! They were on the news this morning because he was one of the first babies of the new year (in Indiana). Everyone's doing very well. Think my sister-in-law is a little viking.In my midnight state (post-champagne but pre-flaming shots) I was confused about the date of the birth because I forgot to factor the time change. Had long chat over brunch whether Jan. 1 was a good birthday or not (you know, people with birthdays close to Christmas always complain that no one gives their birthday any special notice). Well, I promise to be a good Auntie and provide both Xmas and birthday presents.

Here's his cover story and some in-depth journalistic coverage about his urine.