Monday, August 06, 2007

The Bourne Ultimatum

You know how I'm a misanthropist? Here's merely one of the reasons why - we went to see The Bourne Ultimatum over the weekend and at 1:30 in the afternoon, it was ridiculously humid outside and the theatre was packed. So, rather than sit in the third row, I asked these people if they would scootch down a seat and as a result put three spread-out seats together for us. And they looked at me, and just sat there. So, I asked again. Politely, I'm telling you. Blank stares. Then I asked less politely, and they grudgingly moved over. One effing seat I asked them to move and it was like a row full of people were being asked to sacrifice their first born! What has happened to people? Since when is it NOT common courtesy to slide over one goddamn seat when politely asked to do so in a crowded movie theatre?!? Oooh, ooh, and this is the best, when we went to sit down, this woman hissed at me, "Well! I think you're being kind of nervy!" NERVY! NERVY? I'll SHOW you NERVY!

Anyway, we shall not let that bother us (much). We shall focus on the Bourne Whatever, which is really good! I loved the first in the series because Matt Damon is all "Oh my god, I'm an incredible fighter! I can scale buildings! I speak Russian! Just go with it!" Even though some of that novelty has worn off by this third movie - Bourne still does everything instinctively, and it makes for a damn exciting spy movie. This movie, which overlaps with the end of the 2nd movie, has the CIA continuing their search for Bourne, who peskily insists on finding out why the government changed his identity and turned him into a killing machine. (Ick, it appears to involve "waterboarding". Ah, the US government, it really makes you want to move to French-speaking Canada.) So, right from the beginning, Bourne's trying to figure out what's going on, while the CIA attempts to track his every movement from an office on computers (I KNEW they did that!) Aside from enjoying a fun movie, you'll learn all kind of tips about how to outrun the CIA if they're after you. Never forget, they're a bunch of buffoons, but, you've totally got to get a disposable cell phone (Veronica Mars uses those too!) because they track all the calls (btw, if you're not mad as hell about the eavesdropping amendment, or, soi-disant Protect America Act - HA! - that was added to the FISA Act over the weekend, you should be. Here's a list of the Dems who allowed it to go through. Thanks, Democratic Congress! You're really taking back the country! Effing jackasses...*) Also, an "asset" is the person they've sent to kill you, so watch out! (A certain husband has indicated that he would henceforth like be known as "the asset".)

Well, it's a great movie, and I think really captures the suspicious spirit of our times and also provides some good clean, blockbuster fun that's not even ruined by the presence of Julia Stiles. Not bad for a summer movie.

*PS DeBordian Perruque, what does "blue dog" mean?

6 comments:

Devin said...

It's a coalition of conservative democrats- the primary value they have is that they're fiscally conservative: small govt, low taxes.

A lot of Southern Democrats were "Blue Dog" Dems over the years, but they're generally from any mostly- conservative district. Wikipedia's actually got a decent article.

I see that Jackass Baron Hill let Indiana down again. Clearwater for Congress!

Kathy said...

I might say that southern dems are largely waaaaaaay conservative---and still more liberal than the southern republicans. Otherwise, you probably already know.

On the move-your-ass-over score, I wonder: what were the demographics of the neighborhood in which you were viewing the flick---in terms of income? Just curious because in my experience the easiest way to get a general idea of the median income of a particular community is, in fact, movie theater behavior. Little income, poor manners. I wish I were a demographer rather than an epidemiologist; I'd spend my whole career crafting indirect but hugely revealing pop-culture measures.

Special K said...

Ah, far worse than the teeming masses is the demographic of the "wealthy, elderly" whose movie-theatre manners lack not only in please-scootch-over but also shut-the-hell-up. "WHAD HE SAY?" (:

Carrie said...

Julia Stiles is staring in The Bell Jar! I don't know. It was bad enough when Cristina Ricci blew Prozac Nation, I don't know if I can handle her messing up Silvia Plath. Hummm...

Caitlin said...

Nervy?

I'd call you pert, cheeky and mischievous -- a regular Sally Sassy, if you will...

But NERVY? I think not!

kbmulder said...

In my neck of the woods you might get "whooped" if you ask someone politely to move over. Especially at Spiderman 3 IMAX. Yikes!

"Nervy" makes me think of saying, "Why I oughtta!" or "Put 'em up!". Which WB cartoon character was that?