Gift Lists!

Have you ever bought anything off a Gift List?  I love reading them, but they're pretty useless.  I scour Lists for Dads looking for something for my Very Hard to Shop For Dad, but find things like SOCKS?  GRILL-RELATED? SPORTS-RELATED? A $25 Banana Hat from this list? Have they ever even met a dad?  They already have all things, socks, sports, grill, banana.  

The 27 Absolute Best, Wirecutter-Approved White Elephant Gifts Under $25 sounded promising, but held the usual collection of socks and adult coloring books.  I have enough adult coloring books to color every day of the rest of my adult life.  

Mike told me about a list called "56 gifts every woman in your life would love to receive" which included a Menopod Instant Cooling Device." Thank you, husband, for thinking about my menopause needs - although the description "Get near-instant relief from menopausal hot flashes and sweats with this palm-sized, electronic gadget" made me think it zaps you into temporary unconsciousness (yes, please!)

Hey, I could write a pretty good gift guide, is something I thought to myself, even though I prefer to make most of my gifts, and most people are already drowning in a bunch of garbage they don't need.  

Poetry for Neanderthals - $13.  This game looks fun and includes an inflatable club.  What could go wrong?

Set - $8.85.  I love Set because you can play it with people of all ages.   Literally like 3 year olds and 70 year olds.  

Spot It - $27?  That's ridiculous.  Don't pay that much.

Another game you can play with people of all ages.  Spot It also has a lot of variations like Camping Spot It and Sports Spot It and so on.  I have a soft spot for plain old Spot It because it has a few weird symbols that you just have to make up a name for like, "Handface!"and "Orange Guy!"

It's dumb not to have a jade roller and gua sha tool - get one for every woman you know.  Then you get them a small bottle of argan oil or rose oil and you're done.  BOOM. Perfect. Works for dudes too, but not dads.  Not my dad.

A very fancy lipstick.  Get your best gal a fancy pants lipstick that she might not buy for herself.  The finest one I know is this YSL for $38 (ask the salesperson for a shade that looks good on everyone).  People say Tom Ford is a very fine lipstick.  Tom Ford lipstick costs about ... $58.  That's a lot of money for lipstick.  

A fancy doorknob.  Guess what?  Literally everyone likes fancy doorknobs. This might be a good dad gift.  I have no idea.  The best gift my dad ever got, and said so, was a bucket full of stuff to wash his car with because Washing Cars is his Love Language.  Do not ask him about this, he will have no idea what a Love Language is.