Pills

This is us giving Kaya her medicine:


And this is the song Kaya sings to us when it's done:

Until further notice

Well, we just had a hell of a week because poor Kaya's been ill - she was in the hospital for two nights. M & I have spent most of the time in complete hysterics worrying about our little one.  She's not out of the woods yet - we've got lots of pills and even injections ahead of us.  Until further notice, we will be completely bonkers.

Last week in the animal hospital waiting room it turns out I was sitting next to a (person who thought they were a) pet psychic.  I've actually always wanted to meet a pet psychic, but I wasn't exactly in the mood for it at that moment.  She told me Kaya was an "old soul" (duh) and that she "wasn't going anywhere", which is the part I choose to believe even though she was obviously off her nut.

In non-terrible news, I saw The Great Gatsby with a couple of girlfriends and liked it very much.  Bummer of an ending though.  No getting around that.

I wished my mom happy mother's day today and in traditional fashion, I will now make fun of her (that's how my family shows love. What.)

MOM:  You know what one of the problems with cell phones is, that you don't know anyone's number.
ME: What do you mean?
MOM: Well, there's no directory.  What if you want to find out someone's number?
ME:  You just have to ask them.
MOM: What if they're not standing there in front of you?
ME: Well, you send them an email and ask for their number.
MOM: *groan*  And what are businesses going to do?

I wish I had a pool

oh yeah, I forgot to talk about my favorite part of Oblivion, which was obvs their hanging swimming pool.  There it is... that blue bit...

It reminds me how on Pinterest not long ago everyone was pinning this picture.  It's not real, it's some pipe dream design for luxury apartments in Dubai or something.  And it makes me want to throw up just thinking about it.

Actually, the more I think about the Oblivion pool, it makes me want to throw up too.  Anyway, I really like swimming in pools.

Oblivion!

This weekend we saw Oblivion.  I really like futuristic sci-fi stuff but it didn't make a lot of sense.  Looks pretty though.  Aside from all the weird plot holes, there's also this.... So, supposedly this lady and Tom Cruise are like, the only people on the planet, right?  And Tom Cruise goes out every day to do repair work or whatever, while the lady stays at home and works at the computer.  Say you're in the same situation - are you REALLY going to dress like this?

Or, don't you think it's more likely she's going to dress like this, and maybe run upstairs and change 5 minutes before Tom Cruise gets home?  I can assure you that is what she would do, because my husband is extremely handsome in a Tom Cruise kind-of-way, and yet, I look like a total slob most of the time.  

That's what I really found unbelievable....

Anywho, we also finally saw the Picasso show at the Art Institute.  It was quite good, and, it's nice to see a big crowd looking at art.  Although, also, personally, it really sucks seeing art in a big crowd.  Because I hate crowds.  And people.  

This was my favorite:

Worst Week?

What a week.  The bombing in Boston.  The Senate kills a measure on background checks before gun purchases.  A factory explodes in Texas.  There was an End of Days storm in my fair city and a giant sinkhole opened up and swallowed three cars.  WHAT?  Now I have to worry about sinkholes, too?

Jezabel said all this better than me.  (Mom, do not click on that link.)

We've got nowhere to go but up.  In times like this, I look to the animated gif:

Also I've been making my own animated gifs with this really cool app called Motiongraph.  They're almost all of Kaya.  Here she is eating grass, which she has yet to vomit back up...

Kids Cryin'

So, at the grocery store the other day I open the milk freezer and it turns out this dumb kid had slid his finger in the crack and I squeezed his little finger.  He didn't make a sound, but I saw him sort of fold into himself so I shut the door real quick and then he found his mom and burst into tears. Oh boy, did I feel terrible.  I stood around helplessly telling the mom how sorry I was while she tried at once to help her kid and wordlessly tell me, "It's ok, I know you didn't do it on purpose."  I ran and got some ice, did some more sorrowful apologizing while she again wordlessly told me, "It's ok, just... go away."  I'm very intuitive about these things.

We checked out, but left without getting any dairy products.

When I got home, I still felt like a monster-shit-head and posted on my facebook "Accidentally smashed kid's finger at the grocery and now I want to kill myself."  It occurred to me that somewhere in town, someone was posting, "Some idiot smashed my kid's finger in the grocery and I would like to kill her."  And then that someone I was friends with was also friends with her would read both posts and they would have one of those moments.  like this...

Speaking of kids crying, I found this tumblr called Reasons My Son is Crying, all pictures of the same sobbing boy crying pitiful, snot-drenched tears with captions like, "I closed the refrigerator door." or "I wouldn’t let him drink bath water."  

We suggested that he play with a train. via

At first it was hilarious - I mean, what's funnier than a crying kid that has nothing to do with you that you can't even hear?  But then I started thinking, maybe every picture should be followed by the explanation "My parents are asshats" or, eventually, "I have an undiagnosed psychosis."  I don't understand why people aren't interested in protecting their own kid's privacy.  Oh well.  What do I care? It is pretty funny.  

Book of Mormon!

This weekend M & I had a lovely night on the town with dinner and a show - we saw The Book of Mormon.  It's really funny - if you have the opportunity to see it, you will surely enjoy it, unless you are uhm, a Mormon or pretty religious.

Here's one of my favorite songs, called Turn It Off, about how to stop feeling and thinking.  (:



I wore this rather outrageous gold paillette jacket over a black dress with a fabulous necklace.  I was in the lady's room fixing my false eyelash when my spidey-sense let me know that two girls were giving me The Eye.  I recognized it immediately, having grown up in Indiana.  It said, Get a load of this big city girl.

 I smiled at them.

That's right, bitches!