Don't try this at home

So, I've been sick all week, as I told ya, and then I remembered my brother-in-law bringing up ear candling, and I thought, "maybe I should have my ear candled" and so I bought some and then Mike and I did it. If ear candling's not on your radar, it's this possibly faux healthy thing you can do - there was a lot of chatter about it when we lived in San Francisco - whachado is, you put a hollow candle in your ear and you light the other end, and then something happens. Well, you're supposed to feel healthy. In ACTUALITY, we discovered, what happens is, you put one end of the candle in your ear, light the other end, and essentially what you've got is a giant torch in your ear. I'm talking about big flames. And, so, you're supposed to put like a paper plate or something around the candle so ashes and falling flames don't land on your face. Here's a tip, uh... don't use a plastic plate. So, after running around with a flaming plastic plate and blowing the smoke out of living room, we resumed the "relaxing, calming sensation" of ear candling. I don't know... the jury's still out on whether it works or not, I think I'm still kind of sick - but, unburned!