Thursday, April 11, 2013

Kids Cryin'

So, at the grocery store the other day I open the milk freezer and it turns out this dumb kid had slid his finger in the crack and I squeezed his little finger.  He didn't make a sound, but I saw him sort of fold into himself so I shut the door real quick and then he found his mom and burst into tears. Oh boy, did I feel terrible.  I stood around helplessly telling the mom how sorry I was while she tried at once to help her kid and wordlessly tell me, "It's ok, I know you didn't do it on purpose."  I ran and got some ice, did some more sorrowful apologizing while she again wordlessly told me, "It's ok, just... go away."  I'm very intuitive about these things.

We checked out, but left without getting any dairy products.

When I got home, I still felt like a monster-shit-head and posted on my facebook "Accidentally smashed kid's finger at the grocery and now I want to kill myself."  It occurred to me that somewhere in town, someone was posting, "Some idiot smashed my kid's finger in the grocery and I would like to kill her."  And then that someone I was friends with was also friends with her would read both posts and they would have one of those moments.  like this...

Speaking of kids crying, I found this tumblr called Reasons My Son is Crying, all pictures of the same sobbing boy crying pitiful, snot-drenched tears with captions like, "I closed the refrigerator door." or "I wouldn’t let him drink bath water."  
We suggested that he play with a train. via

At first it was hilarious - I mean, what's funnier than a crying kid that has nothing to do with you that you can't even hear?  But then I started thinking, maybe every picture should be followed by the explanation "My parents are asshats" or, eventually, "I have an undiagnosed psychosis."  I don't understand why people aren't interested in protecting their own kid's privacy.  Oh well.  What do I care? It is pretty funny.  


kbmulder said...

I felt so bad for you when I read that! You were way nicer than most people would be in that situation. My kids cry several times a day about stuff like "mommy won't let me eat toothpaste or beat my head on the ground." Sometimes you just have to laugh.

Special K said...

Actually, crying kids, even/especially ones I know and love, crying over something stupid is pretty because they cry like the world is coming to an end. Why do they cry so hard????