Pain Scale

So, darn it all!  My aforementioned plantar fasciitis has gotten really bad.  I went to the orthopedist today and got some bad news.  My feet are basically going to need to be removed at the ankle.  It's fine.  I'll be double pegged, and I will henceforth speak in Pirate. We looked at xrays of my feet, and it was as if... a demented lunatic could not have created a more bizarre picture of what human feet could look like.  My orthopedist actually shouted things out like, "Oh My God! This is terrible!" and "Look at that one!"  Even my untrained eye could tell these were some seriously jacked up feet.  In fact, just now, I googled "jacked up foot xray" and none of them look as bad as mine.  On the internet, ye lads and lassies!  On. The. Internet.



Which brings me to the pain scale.  My doctor had one of these hanging in his office:

Whereby I am, obviously, a 10.

However, as everyone knows, that is an inadequate pain scale, and the most accurate one was created by the Brilliant Allie Brosh at Hyperbole and a Half:

(It's really best to read her descriptions.)  In her (more accurate) scale, I am clearly an 11.  I tried to explain my level of pain to loving husband after a routine day at work with as little walking as I could get away with.  It was as if I walked 10 miles on my left foot and 20 miles on my right foot while carrying a 100 pound sack, and every half mile a Nazi in uniform beat the bottoms of my feet with a switch.