On The Fall and Smirking

I finished up season 2 of The Fall which was half-good and half-terrible.  What a stink of an ending, which I won't disclose here except to say it stunk, and I was really grossed out by all the smirking going on by the murderer.  Gillian Anderson was radiant, and I'm filled with a strange desire to rewatch the entirety of the X Files.  So, I didn't realize that that guy the played the serial murderer in The Fall is also the dude who will play whatshisname in 50 Shades of Grey (here's my post on the same).  So, imagine if you were really into The Fall and 50 Shades (which I am not, btw) - wouldn't your mind get all confused between sexy serial killer and sexy s&m guy?  I bet you ANYTHING he smirks through the whole damn thing!

I saw The Fault in Our Stars on a plane, and, yes, even though I wept hot tears of shame throughout the whole entire movie, I was so grossed out that what passed for romance between two cancer-ridden teenagers was - you guessed it!  Smirking!

My friend, MZ, and I had a hilarious chat about how much smirking at women goes on in the movies, as if all a girl wants is someone to look at her with nothing but bald-faced irony to cover any true feelings of love that might linger under their smirking exteriors.  She figures Harrison Ford started it, which sounds about right to me.  

It's actually hard to find a picture of Harrison Ford where he isn't smirking.

Here's Edward Cullin on his own damn wedding day, smirking as his bride walks down the aisle!

Other over-smirkers include George Clooney (and the entire cast of Ocean's 11), Sean Connery, of course James Tiberius Kirk in all his incarnations, basically anyone who plays a vampire (see especially: True Blood), any and all super-villians, and Robert Downey Jr (all he does is smirk).

On Serial

I started listening to the podcast Serial last weekend - I listened to the first 8 on a road trip to Indiana and got hooked, just like everyone else, on the way Sarah Koenig is telling the story of this decade old murder.  It's so compelling and, yes, entertaining that about every 30 minutes I get really depressed about how entertained I am by the murder of a 16-year-old girl.  A child.  About whom, aside from being murdered, we learn very little.  So, there's that.  It's gross how so much of our popular culture surrounds the violent death of women.

Also I'm getting more and more disturbed, as I listen, whether Koenig is practicing responsible journalism.  I mean, seriously, IS she?  Because she clearly believes Adnan, right?  And she wants to believe in Adnan, and therefore, who doesn't she trust?  Jay.  So, she paints Jay as a liar and a possible murderer and now half of America thinks Jay's a murderer.  Which I guess wouldn't be so bad if Jay weren't a real person, trying to live his life.  Like, Hae's dead, nothing worse can happen to her, unless post-life-mortification is a thing from having your diary read out loud to strangers, the defense attorney is dead, Adnan's in jail, but Jay, who we learned, works long hours at a menial job only to be surprised on his doorstep by two reporters who are most likely ruining his life.  But, I don't know... say Jay was the murderer, then... it's all ok?

I'll admit that I couldn't stop listening to 1-8, but I think I'm done now.  And, since 8 and 9 pretty much went no-where, it feels like the story might be finished too.  I suspect there won't be a satisfying ending to this story where we learn why a 16-year-old girl was murdered and half-buried in the dirt.  There couldn't be a satisfying answer for that.

Edge of Tomorrow

Over the weekend we saw The Edge of Tomorrow, starring Tom Cruise and Emily Blunt.  It was So. Good.  I highly recommend it.  It's one of those movies that's kind of better if you don't know that much about it, so I will not summarize.  It turns out it's based on a Japanese novella called All You Need is Kill.  What a title.  M doesn't like Tom Cruise but my love for him is eternal and everlasting.  I got so excited about Tom Cruise I watched Mission Impossible III on Sunday, pausing half-way through to browse the internet for pictures of Tom Cruise and Suri.  Then for a bizarre 20 minutes or so I fantasized I was Suri and Tom Cruise was my dad and he held me in his strong, powerful arms and protected me from the glare of the paparazzi.   I'm not proud of that.  Then I put Far and Away in my netflix queue - another fact of which I am not proud.

On Sunday night M and I watched Her, which I also thought was wonderful.  It really got me to thinking about consciousness and the body and I suppose I need to read some Alan Watts to follow up on all of that.

Right now I'm in Utah at a conference and I can't quite seem to get over the exhaustion of travel.  I am So. Tired.  Also it's really cold here.  But, it's awfully pretty.

Maleficent

This past weekend we went to Indiana to visit our families, particularly M's Gran, who isn't doing very well.  I find a good solution for high anxiety is the alluring, mind-numbing power of tv and movies, so my moms and I went to see Maleficent.

I'm not a big Angelina Jolie fan, but, I have to tell you, this is one of the greatest movies I've ever seen her in and certainly one of the top movies I've seen this year.  I thought it was super-fun to watch, I loved the visuals and the story and everything!  It really does for Sleeping Beauty what Wicked did for The Wizard of Oz (OMG, will there be a musical in a few years?  I wouldn't be surprised...).  It makes you think about the story in a completely new light, considering the entire tale from the point of view of the soi-disant "evil queen".

Without giving too much of the story, I'll say that the story begins in a magical land (near a norm-core land) where all types of fairies and magical beings live, and Maleficent is a young, winged girl who's inquisitive and kind and helpful and strong, etc.  And she meets this human guy from nearby who eventually fucks with her.  If there's one person in the entire world you shouldn't fuck with, it's Angelina Jolie, right?

If there's one thing I didn't like about the movie, it was the lipstick on Maleficent - it was kind of like Barbara Streisand's fingernails in The Prince of Tides... (yeah, I just made an uber-cool reference to a 13 year old movie nobody's seen) too distracting.  The whole time you're thinking, like, Does she have a tube of lipstick in her cape?  Where does she go to get more lipstick?  Sephora on the Glen?  But, otherwise I thought her look was totally amazing and a nod to the glamour of the queen in the 1959 Disney movie.

I love this poem

I Remember

By the first of August
the invisible beetles began
to snore and the grass was
as tough as hemp and was
no color—no more than
the sand was a color and
we had worn our bare feet
bare since the twentieth
of June and there were times
we forgot to wind up your
alarm clock and some nights
we took our gin warm and neat
from old jelly glasses while
the sun blew out of sight
like a red picture hat and
one day I tied my hair back
with a ribbon and you said
that I looked almost like
a puritan lady and what
I remember best is that
the door to your room was
the door to mine. 

Anne Sexton

Grand Budapest Hotel

M & I saw The Grand Budapest Hotel after it came out - I thought it was perfectly marvelous and would like to watch it again and again. I thought practically every scene was a visual treat and I loved loved loved watching Ralph Fiennes in his role as Monsieur Gustave. I haven't enjoyed Fiennes so much since The English Patient, which I have seen precisely 274 times. I particularly liked the scenes that took place in small settings, like the elevator or the train car or a jail cell (spoiler?). Those reminded me of sets from The Darjeeling Limited, one of my favorite Wes Anderson movies.

Exterior shots of the hotel were very charming - like this one of the hotel sitting at the top of this craggy mountain.  The movie also brings the opportunity to use, in common parlance, the word "funicular", which one otherwise has rare occasion to do.  I had similar feelings about the movie Noah, which brought about a wave (GET IT?) of reviewers utilizing the wonderful word "antediluvian."  

So, I read that Anderson "more or less" plagiarized Austrian writer Stefan Zweig.  I'd never heard of Zweig - apparently he's quite popular in Europe - so I checked out a couple of books from the library. I checked them out with great happiness because the books were small and charming and I thought I was on the verge of a great discovery.  Zweig is a bit of a tragic character - he managed to get out of Austria in 1934 but near the end of WWII he and his wife committed double-suicide in Brazil.  Anyway, I start reading what I think it going to be a charming set of short stories, but, the three that I read ended in suicide and were depressing as hell, as you might imagine.  

He does do this thing which is sort of old-fashioned in literature now which is to tell the story through a third party, like, I met this person on a boat and they told me this story about this other guy they knew that went like this... I could probably write more intelligently about this if I had gotten a worthless literature degree instead of a worthless art history degree. In any event, Anderson certainly captures that quality in the movie by framing it in several layers.  It gives it a very fairy tale quality.

Noah!

I can't believe there's a movie about Noah with Russell Crowe and Hermione in it.  Part of me wants to see it, even though I think it will be really stupid.  To me, one of the most interesting parts of the whole Noah story happens after the flood's over and isn't generally covered in Bible School.  What happens is, Noah builds a vineyard, and one day he gets really drunk and gets naked for some reason.  Then, one of his sons, Ham, comes in and laughs at him.  This painting is by Giovanni Bellini, I think it's pretty funny because you can see Ham (in the middle) laughing like a little bitch.  

Ham goes and gets his two brothers to show them, but they do this weird business where they back into the room and cover him, and then back out again.

James Tissot "lalala we don't see anything"

Then Noah wakes up, gets mad, and curses Ham's son, for some reason.

Gustave Dore - Overreact much?

I learned this whole story when I studied art history - The Drunkenness of Noah has been a popular subject for artists.  Some scholars (and artists) assumed that some improprieties took place while Noah was passed out drunk, which seems fairly likely, as drunkenness and nakedness goes.

What I find interesting is that, while this appendix to the story of Noah is mostly unknown today, it was a very popular subject through the ages.  Here's a scene on a panel from the famous bronze doors of the Florence Baptistry, by Ghiberti:

And here it is by Michelangelo on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel: 

This last one is not famous, but I love the look on everyone's faces.  Ham's like, "Isn't this great?  Dad's drunk and naked!" and the brothers are all, "Oh, for Chrissake, pull yourself together."

Luini Bernadino

 I wonder if all this will be in the movie?

The Grey

Since I've been sick all winter, practically all superfluity has come to a stop, including coloring my hair, which, yes, I usually do.  A few weeks ago I noticed that I was developing a Cruella de Vil grey streak in my hairline.  However fabulous de Vill might be, that grey streak is not for me.  A friend reminded me that Susan Sontag has a similar, equally fabulous streak.  But, honestly, I think I'm too young.  Aren't I?

Anyway, I stumbled into some exceptional overhead lighting the other day (the horror!) and realized that not only did I have a grey streak, that basically ALL my hair was coming out of my head just straight up silvery grey.  I should mention that I think grey hair is actually very beautiful on other people.  I myself am not YET forty years old, however.  "Not Yet Forty" is too young to have grey hair blasting out of your hair follicles like fireworks from a cannon.

I immediately made an appointment with my colorist but she just had a baby and is harder to schedule now so I have to wait a few weeks.

Meanwhile, I'm watching the Winter Olympics.  Everyone is so young, particularly my favorite, the lady snowboarders.  I don't know their names but the American girls seem mostly to be from South Lake Tahoe and they all wear their hair in two carefree side-braids and they're as cute as can be (aside from being kick-ass snowboarders).  Snowboarding is for young people, ie, people in their 20s and below.  M tried it in his thirties and spent the whole time on his ass and with a sore tailbone for months. There's a statute of limitations on being physical adventurousness, just like there is on moving yourself.  At a certain point, you hire movers, and you can't take up new sports.  You just can't.

Anyway, M & I are watching the figure skaters and, you know, every once in a while they fall down.  Sometimes from great heights, like however many feet it is for a dude to hold you on the crotch by the flat of his palm stretched above his head.  And when they fall, we go "Oooo!"  And then the announcers go, "Oh NO!  ALL their HOPES and DREAMS were just SHATTERED!"  And for a second, you get carried away, and think, "Gee, I think maybe all their hopes and dreams of winning a gold medal just might be shattered." And maybe they get the yips and fall some more.  Ooo!  and OH NO from the announcers ALL THEIR DREAMS ARE DESTROYED!  And then it's over, and you see two young people smile ruefully and shrug their shoulders.  I mean, these are people who don't have a single grey hair in their heads; it doesn't seem like their hopes and dreams are destroyed.  You can learn a lot from those damn kids about falling down and getting back up again.

Sylvie

We got a new cat recently.  Her name is Sylvie.  She's a sweet puss and she's starting to get more used to us.  Poor little thing is only 3 1/2, but she's already been in a lot of homes, so it will probably take a while for her to relax with us and in our house.

Getting a new cat has actually been very emotional for me & M.  We had two trips to the shelter before we got her that ended in us leaving petless and in tears. All I could do was imagine the life of each animal we met flying before my eyes, only to end in agony and death 15 years later.  So strange, to see 15 happy years flash before my eyes and feel miserable.  It must be confusing for this little gal to see her two new adoptive parents quietly weeping over her all the time.  Could she understand, "Oh, I'm just mourning your eventual death which is, God willing, more than a dozen years into the future." I'm dying too, a fact that less easy to admit, or even that M will die one day, and so will everyone I love.  So, adopting a cat ended up becoming an existential crisis, but I'm glad we found each other.  

My Dollhouse!

I finally finished my dollhouse!

This is the downstairs - kitchen and dining room.

Here's a closer pic of the dining area.

This is the stove and cooker.

close-up of sink and pots

The Bedroom 

The bathroom, my favorite

The whole upstairs

AND, I also made a video, in which I say the words "so cute" 50 times.

My True Love Gave to Me

Under my dedicated tutelage, M has become an expert stocking stuffer.  This year he put a gorgeous dichroic glass necklace in there, as well as these cool nail stamps that I've been curious about for a long 

time.  They're these metal plates, and you put nail polish on them, then you scrape it off, then you put a stamp across it, then you stamp in on your nail.  Makes no sense, right?  But, somehow you figure it out after you watch 6 six you tube videos on the subject.  

Now I want to do my nails 6 times a day.  Here are some of my nails since then.  Cute, right?  

M also gave me a game called Ooga Booga that is quite fun too.  It's a memory game that also causes humiliation.  The best thing he got me is tickets to The Merry Wives of Windsor at the Chicago Shakespeare Co - we're going this friday I'm so excited wee!

My mom gave me a great present - a couple of books and this little relic from my childhood.  I think these used to be my sister's mice, but then they sort of became a family decoration.  My mom made these little felt outfits for them and she would put them around the house on the tree and stuff.  Anyway, I was actually thinking about getting some of my own and then I was like, well, the ones I really love are these ones, and then it's like she read my mind and gave them to me.

And my old old friend KT gave me some lovely cards that her Auntie saved.  Then, one day she brought a giant box full of cards and scrapbooks and newspapers over and we went through all of it!  Heaven!

Recover(ing?)

I've been sick since Thanksgiving with some unknown illness.  First the doctor told me it was an upper-respiratory thing, then pneumonia (I was tested for whooping cough!) and then Bronchitis.  I've been on two rounds of antibiotics and just finished a round of steroids and I still feel like utter balls.  So, that's been a drag.  I'm not very good at being sick and have a tendency to catastrophize the whole thing 'til I'm wallowing in a sad place that's like there-is-no-god-and-we-all-die-alone.  Anyway, I've been trying extra hard not to go to the Dark Place and figure out how to enjoy myself even though I have no energy at all and feel yucky pretty much constantly.

Side note: When I see people, this depressing interaction happens:
"K! How are you?"
Oh, not so great, I've been sick for like a month.
"It looks like you've lost weight!"
Maybe a couple of pounds, I've basically been in like a half-coma.
"Well, you look great."

Our society is really effed up, y'all.

See, that's the Dark Place, and I am not going there.  Let us go instead to the Pillow Place, which is a crrrrrraft I managed to finish.  First I made copied a template of a fox onto paper.  Did you know you can use your computer screen like a light box?  I just found a design I liked online, then held a piece of paper over my monitor and traced it.  Then I traced it onto one of my personal favorite tools in my sewing room: Double-Sided Interfacing.  Oh how I love you, Double-Sided Interfacing!  Then I ironed this cute little fox onto my fabric.  Basically I did it like this lady did, only I used a zig-zag stitch instead of a straight stitch around the image.  Then I put a fancy trim and a zipper in, and I tried a new zipper technique (for me) which mostly worked out, but on the last of four of these pillows that I made for some of my girlfriends, for some reason I broke no less than EIGHT NEEDLES.  And there was much screaming and cursing.  And thus were such obscenities screamed at my sewing machine that have not been heard in many a year.  But lo, the pillows were still pretty cute.

On the back I put this cute flannel - I was going for a sort of winter-cottage look.  Just in time for the several feet of snow that's been steadily falling on us for the past few days.

Stay tuned for more Xmas recaps and.... wait for it... Nail Art!  Oooooo yeaaaaaahhhh...

Dollhouse toilet

So, I got really excited, unnaturally excited, to tell the truth, about making this toilet for my dollhouse.  I've been thinking about it for a long time, gathering my materials, doing research etc.  Suffered a MAJOR, soul-crushing set-back when I LOST my tic tac container...  And the search for the perfect lid seemed to have evaded me, until just as I was starting to build one out of an old credit card and modge podge, what do I see but the lid of my vinegar, which was absolutely perfect.

And that's why you should really never throw lids away, ever.  

There she is - quite simple, really.  I just put white paper in the tic tac thing and hot glued the whole thing together.  But it really looks like a loo, right?  Note my iPhone tub - still looking for the perfect feet.  Occurred to me that I could made some out of sculpy.  Oh, fu' me... I just had a genius idea:  I could get a little lion toy and cut off it's feet and paint them white.  If you have a lion toy, I need to talk to you immediately.

Dollhouse

I don't think I've mentioned that I'm working on this dollhouse... I've been wanting to make one for many many years and I finally just got my supplies together and started a very simple one.  It's made from a wooden wine box, which your local liqueur store might give to you if you ask nicely, and I put in one floor and a wall.  I'm trying to make it completely out of house-hold stuff instead of buying pre-made furniture and stuff.

Here's a little nightstand I made out of two matchboxes and some pushpins.

Adorbs, right?  I don't mind telling you that the whole things is just about the cutest thing you've ever seen. 

Tonight I have finished the coup d'grace, which is not to say that the whole house is finished but that I have finally completed the toilet, which I have been working on in my mind for I hate to tell you how long.  Come back tomorrow for a picture of that, I swear to you, you will not be disappointed.  (:

Oh, I have a nice Pinterest board on Dollhouses if you love tiny houses as much as I do.

Your favorite tree

Last week we spent some time with a few kids we're quite fond of.  M had the brilliant idea to take them to Chuck E Cheese, something I think he remembered fondly from his childhood.  I have a vague memory of going to a Chuck E. Cheese - I remember, mostly, the horrifying, moth-eaten, jacked-up
animatronics. So, we took our little charges out to Niles to everyone's great excitement.  It was a bizarre place, very similar to Vegas, with little kids running around with small plastic cups full of tokens, like elderly people with those plastic mini-buckets at the slots.  And a lot of the games were like straight-up slot machines only you get a ticket if you "win".  Poor little N put a token in a game and then said, "I just threw my money away."

It was very strange and I'm not entirely sure the girls had a good time, although they later claimed it was amazing.

On the way home we played 20 Questions.  M was the person who had the word.  It started like this:
K: is it a machine?
No.
E: Is it an animal?
No.
K: Is it made of metal?
Sometimes.
N: Is it a pipe?
No.
N: Is it your favorite tree?
No.

Eventually N says, "Is it silverware?"
YES
E: Is it a knife?
NO - 17 questions
E: Is it a fork?
NO - 18 questions
N: Is it a SPOON???
19 questions....
Yes.  

20 Questions is actually an amazing game and M & I like playing it in the car ourselves. Although, somehow it's kind of cheating because it's almost like we can read each other's minds.  For example,  I was the next person to have the word next and I thought of "moon".  And what does M ask for his first question but "Is it on planet earth?"   (!!!!)

When I put the girls to bed, they gave me the best compliment, which is that our guest room is the "most amazing room in the universe" (I agree!)

G's Lentil Soup

There's this little dive of a restaurant in Chicago called The Taste of Lebanon - the food is great but it's a total dive.  Me and my friends used to call it The Smell of Lebanon (BOOM!) Anyway, they have this totes ridick soup that is to die.  My friend G recreated it rather handily, and we've been working on re-creating G's ever since.  We've gotten pretty close.  Here's the recipe, mostly for my own well-being - I keep losing it...

2lb Red Lentils

2 large onions
3 cloves garlic
Cumin (1 tbs? To taste)
Paprika (same)
Hot pepper ( to taste)
Tomato paste ( 1/3 -1/2 a small can?)
Salt
Olive oil
Black pepper

"Heat lots of olive oil in a large pot(1/3-1/2 c?). Add onions and caramelize for a while. Add garlic and spices, cook until fragrant. Salt. Add tomato paste and cook, stirring often so it toasts but doesn't burn. Salt. Add lentils and stir to coat them all with the oil and other stuff.  Salt and pepper. Add about 10 cups water and cook until lentils soften and start to break apart, adding more water if soup gets super thick. Add salt and TONS of pepper to taste. I also added a little more olive oil to make it nice and rich, not sure how much, to taste.  Add a dash of lemon juice at the end."

G's like a real cook and everything so she really follows her nose and her heart when she's cooking.  Not like the rest of us schmucks who are like, "Now, what does she mean by 'hot pepper'?"  Truthfully, I do not know.  Just shut up and put something a little spicy in there.

w00t PaWn: Last of Us

I'm trying to get M to tell me some of the details of this video game he's playing. It's called Last of Us? He finds it very annoying to summarize the "complicated" story line. "I guess there's this girl, and she's infected by zombies, and he's immune and some smugglers or whatever help her but the lady gets killed and the guy promises to get her to the scientists and they're just doing their thing." he says.

"Doing their thing????" I say.

"Trying to survive in the wasteland of the United States."

It looks to me like this girl just sneaks around and hides from people. Then occasionally she jumps on some dude's back like a spider monkey and stabs them in the neck! Except one time she was hiding from these people in a gross bathroom? And these guys came in, and she stabbed one of them in the neck, but then some other guys shot her a couple time and she died.  M said the humans are more dangerous than the zombies because they're cannibals.

Cannibalists are just lazy, you know? It's like, eat a goddamn salad, amirite?

 M just got excited because the girl is sneakin' around a pinball arcade. He's really into pinball lately. In fact, he's building his own miniature pinball game out of cardboard and a monitor and duct tape. No joke.

This game is pretty boring from what I've seen. All you seem to do is sneak around and occasionally stab someone in the neck!  Although, I do find sneaking inherently amusing.  Do you know, I am completely unable to sneak up on people?  If I try to do it, I laugh too hard.  I probably wouldn't last too long in a zombie waste-land.  Neither would M, judging by how much he's getting killed in this game.  OH SNAP!  

Here are some sneaking examples that make me laugh:

What in the hell are those kittens sneaking up on?

I just. Can't.  

Basically famous

When my mom was in town a few weeks ago we went to a really fun evening event at the Art Institute for the Fashion and Modernity show - the theme was hats and cloves - here we are.

Isn't that cute? They also took pictures of people as you come into the party - there's one of us on the AIC's Flickr page. Have a look at everyone's crazy hats!

Jack Reacher (round)

We watched Jack Reacher a few weeks ago.  M didn't like it but I did.  What.  So I like Tom Cruise. A lot.

There's this awesome scene where this guy is trying to get him to come to this abandoned place and get ambushed and probably killed, but, instead on the phone he hangs up on them.  Then he calls them back and shouts at them and hangs up again. Then he calls them back and yells and hangs up again! (On a pay phone!) Then instead of them scaring him, he scares them and he's going to come and ambush them and kill them.

I thought that was pret-ty awesome. The next time someone phones me up and tries to mess with me, I'm going to hang up on them and then call them back and say, "On second thought, I'd like to kill you." And hang up on them again! BOOM!

Zion National Park

After we left Bryce, we drove to Zion National Park.  We thought nothing could compare to what we had seen at Bryce, but Zion was just as beautiful and geologically amazing. The mountains looked like they had been carved by sand.  This one is called Crosshatch Mountain.

We went on a couple of hikes that made me feel a bit queasy.  Here's how I felt:

and here's how M felt.

Look at this one - that was so crazy!

At the end of our trip we went to Vegas for a few days.  We just wanted to chill out, go swimming, and see a show.  We saw the Cirque du Soleil show, Love, which is full of Beatles songs and you know, crazyawesome Cirque du Soleil stuff.  

I've got a bunch more pictures of our trip on my flickr if you want to see more.  

We had a great time but we were a little bit homesick, although when we got home I burst into tears because Kaya wasn't here.  That was sad.  Our house is not the same without her.  

We've been busy ever since we got home.  I have a new boss at work, school's starting up again and all my student employees are coming flooding back.  M & I celebrated our wedding anniversary - 15 years!!!!  One of my best pals is moving to Hawaii...  It's been quite a year.