Sunday, February 01, 2009

Just Get Through February

Lately I'm trying to deal with a little philosophical problem. The issue is this: The world is full of jackasses, and one runs into them all the time. The jackasses get all up in my grill, and then I get mad and am on way to turning into a Class A jackass myself. The way I see it, I can:
1. Call it out: Yo! Jackass! Cool it!
2. Seethe quietly
3. Feel sorry for them because they clearly have a miserable life
4. Ignore them

but, those present problems - namely:
1. Might get punched
2. Boiling, bottled rage not good
3. Don't want to waste my time feeling sorry for jackasses
4. Can't seem to do it.

What should I dooooOOOOOOooooooo? Does anyone have good method for this? Have to get through February with angry fellow citizens suffering from massive seasonal defective disorder.

In related news, someone is not cleaning up after their dog and now we have a couple piles of dog poo in our front yard. This morning I told a certain husband of plans to put up a sign reading: "Dear Disgusting People: How about cleaning up after your dog?"

Husband says, "How about just 'Please clean up after your dog'?"

I say, "How about 'Please clean up after your dog, jackhole'?"

"How about 'Please clean up after your dog' full stop?"

"Let's compromise," I say. "How about 'How about taking some responsibility for once in your miserable life and cleaning up after your dog, please.'"

3 comments:

KHM said...

its a dilemma, right?

The jackholes, they're just jackholes. They're not going anywhere unless they begin to notice that their behavior is not the norm...see where I'm going with this? Take a deep breath, shrug your shoulders and...do unto others as you'd have them do unto you. Its not easy but it is more satisfying in the long term.

but you can totally bitch about it when you need to. That helps.

The dog poo is a conundrum. I don't suppose you guys have an HOA? Does Chicago/Cook County have a pooper-scooper regulation/law? If so and if you know who the offender(s) is/are, you can report it to Animal Control and they'll handle it for you.

kbmulder said...

Mean people suck! I went to the KFC last night because we were craving some chicken tenders. Big mistake. The cashier berated me for not ordering my food right, when the real problem is their confusing menu. It gave me a headache then I came home and vented to Andy.

I kind of complained to the manager about the messed up menu, but didn't rat out the mean cashier 'cause she was probably stressed from superbowl traffic. That and venting helped me get through it.

Probably certain husband is right about the sign, but your inner dialogue can keep your more interesting sign.

Amber said...

the only way I keep from getting out of my car and screaming at other drivers in DC, and/or hitting them on purpose, is to imagine that they are my grandparents. somehow, that calms me down, because i think that my grandparents are wonderful, well-meaning people who sometimes drive poorly, perhaps even make mistakes that others find thoughtless in public, but i still love them. That thought process, carried all the way through, will keep me from violent behavior. :)