apocalypses?

Dudes, is this a sign of the apocalypse? Yesterday George Bush of all people asks us to conserve energy and today Tom Delay steps down? I don't really understand why, but I'm excited. Also, In Your Face, city of Chicago - I have avoided not one but two off-street parking violations for "street cleaning", as you like to call it. That's right - I moved my car. And you suffered. AND, you actually cleaned the street this morning - so you lose - somehow. ALSO, I'm kind of drunk.

Totally worth it

I, as you may know, am really into products. Hair, face, nails - I have a terribly nice collection of little bottles. I love Sephora. So what if I don't use them on a daily basis? Sometimes I do, and then I feel good. Or, as my mother might say, I *look* good. When I wear makeup. Anyway, I MUST share with you the wonderful product which is Two Faced Lip Injection, which is a lipstick that causes the blood vessels in your lips to dilate or something and then your lips get a little puffy. Which is really cool if your me and you have thin little baby lips. Or, as my mother might say: lizard lips. The only drawback is what Two Faced refers to as a "slightly intense tingle" that may last 5-10 minutes. The "tingle" feels kind of like a needle stabbing in and out of your lips, but it's totally worth it.

Dudes, have you seen this? Kanye West burst onto my radar I guess a little bit later than it did the rest of the world when I saw him declaring, "George Bush does not care about black people" (See my Sept. 7th entry) next to a frazzled Mike Meyers. I was later informed that KW is the new innovator in music. Since then some person called the Incredible KO has remixed West's Golddigger (does the rest of the album sound that good? I'm totally getting it.) into a song and video called, guess what? George Bush Don't Like Black People. It's great.

Before and After

Mike and I took a pic of ourselves yesterday to present a then&now for the faithful reader. Frankly I think we look better now. We look a little AAAAHHH! in the 1998 version. To celebrate our anniversary we went to one of our fave Andersonville restaurants, Tomboy. They cook a mean steak. AND, they gave us a free and fancy creme brulee because it was our anniversary! Isn't that nice?

Seven years

Today is our seventh wedding anniversary! Isn't that awesome? Apparently we've exceeded the national average. Here's what we all looked like seven years ago today.

If Mike read my blog, I might give him a special shout out to tell him how much I love him, and he's the best thing that's ever come my way, but I guess I'll just tell him in person tonight over dinner.

A whole sack!

Today Mike and I rode our bikes to the Lincoln Park Zoo and we had a great afternoon walking around looking at animals. It was AWESOME! We saw a bat pee, and we saw a bat's penis, which is rather large, and a bat's balls, which are also large, and we saw Naked Moles, and we saw a bunch of mongeese (?) mongooses eat a sack full of dead mice! Then we stood around awkwardly while some parents had to explain the harsh realities of life to their children before they were ready. And we saw a museum dude pick up an armadillo and show us how it rolled into a little bowling ball. And we saw a Drill monkey bare its teeth at another monkey. I saw a snake wind itself into a coil just like a cat lying down for a nap. And we saw a tiny Pied Tamarin which looked into the eyes of everyone at the glass of his habitat. It was like being looked at by... I don't know... an evil sprite. Oh boy, it was exciting. I don't know when I've ever had so much fun at a zoo.

Going to the dogs

Whoa. I just saw something I never thought I'd see - Martha Stewart on what appeared to be the premier of her new tv show, but not the Apprentice one, displaying a rather nice sense of humor about her Big House experience, and showing her audience what kind of food she used to make in the microwave when she was in the slammer. I guess so, like, if one of her viewers ever finds him or herself in prison, they too can make this stuff. Martha said when she was in prison she bought all this stuff from some kind of cantina, and she had to buy plastic silverware and plastic plates and it sounds like she walked around in the yard picking dandelion leaves and eating them for dinner on white bread. Wouldn't it be funny if the entire show is focused on how to amuse yourself while you're in prison? On accounta, some of the more pessimistic of us might claim that we all live in a prison. Of our own making. You know? Also she brought her dogs on the show, which I thought was kind of wacky in a Sharon Osbourne kind of way. Speaking of Martha's dogs, Michel on the Gilmore Girls named his dogs Paw Paw and Chin Chin, which I think is SO hilarious. I wrote about that on my other blog, last year.

I am so angry

A website called Think Progress has posted a timeline of Hurricane Katrina and the absurd activities of the Bush administration. If you're not already steaming mad about Bush continuing his FIVE WEEK vacation (a vacation that I have heard described as something that would make aristrocratic Europeans blush), wait 'til you read about Rumsfeld sitting in the owner's box at a Padres baseball game, Condoleeza Rice buying shoes and taking in a show in Manhattan, and the distractions caused when Bush finally noticed that an American city lies in ruins and trotted down there to tell FEMA director Michael Brown what a good job he was doing. The small amount of pleasure I receive with the knowledge that Condi was booed at Spamalot does nothing to lift the feeling of utter despair I feel when think of a nursing home in New Orleans full of dead bodies, abandoned animals wandering the streets covered in oil and toxins, starving, and the suspicion that no one will pay for their crimes against humanity.

Speaking out!

As the House and the Senate urge us all not to go placing blame for the untold deaths in New Orleans, I've been impressed by a few public figures who are willing to point fingers - notably Jon Stewart on the Daily Show, who played a clip of GW on Good Morning America saying, "I don't think anybody anticipated the breach of the levees." (Sept. 1) Of course, many, many people anticipated not just a breach, but the total destruction of the levees - unfortunately not Michael D. Brown, head of FEMA, who Bush said was doing "a heck of a job." Check out Kanye West saying it like it is during the Concert for Hurricane Relief and Celine Dion on Larry King (scroll down, it's on the right). These celebrities are generally described as "losing it" or "getting emotional" during their impassioned pleas, but if you ask me, it's well past time to get friggin' emotional about the situation!

Don't it make the red states blue?

I have found it necessary to weigh in, as all bloggers must, on the situation in New Orleans. I was moved and excited by Mayor Ray Nagin's radio address of Sept. 2 in which he called out President Bush for ignoring the crisis and the total lack or response both before and after the disaster in the south. Wouldn't it be amazing if more politicians spoke from their hearts, instead of in the prepared statements of Scott McClellan? Like everyone else, I was wondering why a federal response to this federal problem took, what? 6 days? When you can DRIVE from Washington DC to New Orleans in 16 hours?!? And it takes their poor beleaguered mayor to break down in tears before he gets some goddamn assistance? There's not a single silver lining to this sad story in which finally even southerners are realizing that the Republican administration does not and never will have the interests of poor Americans on their agenda, even to keep them from dying in droves in the streets of our own damn country. And thank you VERY much, William H. Rehnquist. You couldn't have picked a better time to die so Bush could just dick us one more time in a very bad week.