Finales

Had a bunch of finales loaded up on Ye Ol DVR - thought The Office was hilarious. Disappointed by Natasha's loss on America's Next Top Model (although filled with Classic Tyra Moments like when she told Renee how much she hated that the industry discriminated against older women [Renee's 20] and then went ahead and kicked her off for just that reason.) Thought they could have at least had the decency to explain Jaslene's statement that she was "raised by drag-queens." In quiet moments I imagine what that must have been like. (Snore! Turns out it's not that interesting.) Can't believe Melinda didn't win American Idol (not that I, you know, WATCH that show!) My only consolation is that she will surely win an Oscar next year in Dreamgirls II. Got really pissed off by the season (series?) finale of Scrubs, which has sucked all season (except for the last 4 seconds of the show). Its central premise was this ridiculous sentiment, which I've heard more times than you'd believe, that having kids beatifically "changes you." Like parents are privy to some higher plane of understanding that we child-free could never understand. Sure, I've known a few outrageously selfish people who have become slightly less outrageously selfish when they have a kid, but taking the smallest amount of responsibility for another human that completely relies on them hardly makes them saints.

A friend of mine said he kind of wished that Jeff Probst would narrate his life, just like he does on the challenges of Survivor. I suppose mine would sound something like this:

PROBST: Special K! Sadly shaking her head back and forth! Thanks to Dreamz, she appears to have lost the last shred of hope she had in humanity! Special K, now in a fetal position, rocking back and forth. Special K! Weeping! She has NO hope.