Tuesday, May 13, 2008

On Pants

Ever since low-rise pants became a la mode, I've had a heck of a time finding pants that fit. It's simple physics, really: If pants are designed to fit at the widest part of your body, then how are they meant to stay up? They can't, and that's physics. The problem got worse since I've returned to the work-a-day world and find it necessary to wear non-jammie pants. No longer cradled by draw-strings and elastic, I was left with little to hold up my pants but worthless zippers and buttons, because I don't like to wear a belt.

The problem is not just restricted to pants, but also low-rise underwear. Theoretically (I'm not saying this happened to ME) a pair of low-rise undies with loose elastic (technical term, "Quitters") grasping to the widest part of the body could slip down and be held up by nothing but the crotch of one's pants.* Like this:Imagine how uncomfortable that might be.

I don't like wearing a belt because it makes me feel like I'm being strangled and my internal organs are going to get all messed up, like Victorian ladies that had to wear corsets.

But, anywho, I started wearing a belt the last few days because the problem was getting way out of hand, and, while I feel strangled about the mid-section, I haven't had to hike my pants up at all. Who knew?

Anyone know where I can get some high-waisted pants?

*I just like saying "crotch".

7 comments:

Kathy said...

I just really want to thank you for pointing out the many challenges of being a working professional woman in these days. Its important for the world to understand the gritty details of it all.

I think you may win a Nobel Prize for this post.

kbmulder said...

He he he! The drawing is hilarious! All I can say is that I have held on to my high waisted pants for many years (hoping they would come back). Most of my suits have high waisted pants. Jones New York, Kasper, Caslon are some of the brands I've bought in the last few years. You don't necessarily need to by the jacket, but may need it from time to time. The pants I like are kind of flowy, drapey that you can wear with a blouse or sweater set.

It took me awhile to get into the low rise and I didn't like the crack aspect of them. I've since switched to the hybrid mid-rise. Not too low, not too high. My new favorite pants are actually Dockers Jaelynn Truly Slimming Pants. You can by them on Amazon and get free shipping with just 2 pairs. They are awesome and come in 2 shades of khaki, chocolate, black, and a dark jeans rinse. Love them! Here's the link to Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Misses-Dockers-Jaelynn-Truly-Slimming/dp/B000V05Z6S/ref=tag_tdp_sv_edpp_t/104-4034372-9816762

kbmulder said...

Okay, I have to add a little something. Does anyone here hate panty hose? Well I especially do, because of the squeezing of the insides, as Special K mentioned. So, I thought that thigh high's might be a good idea with skirts at work. Untheoretically, I wore thigh highs to work one day at the KC, walking to the Metro one of my thigh highs was a quitter and started to fall down. In front of everyone at the station. It was too late to turn back, so I had to grab the thigh high through my skirt and hold on to it while limping all the way to work. Ugh! This was a long story - maybe it's time for me to restart my old neglected blog. Sorry Special K.
I'm sure there is a term for what I'm doing - hijacking your blog or something. Okay, bye.

Kathy said...

my experience with thigh-highs has been good but in fact, I've abandoned stockings of any kind for the rest of my life. Summertime? Bare, lotioned legs. Winter? Pants, baby. NO MORE STOCKINGS EVER. Hate them!

mike r. said...

You could try a garter belt.

Mmmmm garter belts. Thats hawt!

Special K said...

What? A garter belt to hold up my PANTS? This is why I object to the male's idea of beauty, people.

mike r. said...

Not for your pants, for kbmulder's thigh-hi's. Sheesh.