Monday, August 31, 2009

Things to say

We had a really terrific weekend at my friend's lake "cottage". Our gang of friends went and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves playing games, gazing at the lake (the brave ones taking a dip) and drinking what might be considered a ridiculous number of margaritas. Actually, it was not as ridiculous as we anticipated because M&I wanted to take 100 limes, but, in the end we only took 64. If you don't know me, I have some kind of crazy compulsion/worry about not having enough food.

On the drive through Indiana my friend and I like to text each other. This is what she wrote to me:
OMG. Just saw a sign for 'Pumpkin Fall Fest' and my cell keeps having no coverage. We don't know where TF we are. We're going to be raped and mu [some text missing]

That's what it said, for realsies.

Something has been weighing heavily on my heart. Some time ago, perhaps rashly, I blogged about cat litter. I knew it would come to haunt me, perhaps sooner than this, but I must... I MUST SPEAK OUT! Loathe I was to admit my dad was right, but his prescient remarks in comments were all too true. Again, I quote verbatim:
And you can flush it down the toilet! Now that's Gross! I can't wait to hear about the drains of Evanston being clogged-up....Headlines of the news..."Kitty Litter Stops Up Drains"! Now that's a lot of kitty s_ _ _!

Not long after that ill-begotten post of April Ought-Nine DID our pipes begin to back up, and lo, were we forced to call the plumber and spend ungodly plumber-money having it fixed.+ Whether the back-up was due to the kitty litter, I cannot say for sure, but we don't dump it in the toilet anymore, we just do it the old fashioned way.*

+Now my conscience is clean!

*Bake it into cakes and feed it to our enemies.


dad said...

I Feeled Honored!

Caitlin said...

hee hee hee!!

Anonymous said...

Oh shit


Anonymous said...

Oh shit


KHM said...

honored? Maybe vindicated? Because I really don't think anyone, no matter how low their esteem (clearly not your issue, Dave) should feel honored by posts about kitty litter clogging the plumbing infrastructure of Evanston.

In fact, Dave, you may even feel a bit smug. Because that's better.

I hope your friend who might have been raped and mu wasn't and is quite well.