Tuesday, August 28, 2012

W00t: pWn Mass Effect 3

Poor M hasn't gotten much access to the xBox 360 since I've been monopolizing the tv through my 18th century-style illness (minus home-doctor visits or visits of any kind, but with plenty of moaning about End of Life and the Pain! Oh, the pain.)  The only thing that seems to eleviate my (notable) suffering is a stream of British lady crime dramas, between which he occasionally manages to squeeze in this Mass Effect 3 business he's been into recently.  Straight up, I do not like Mass Effect 3 because they use this language from Firefly (yes, that's right, Joss Wedon's doomed, yet critically acclaimed 2002 space-opera television show.)  Namely, "Shepard" and "Reaper", which I find so distracting I can hardly bare it.  

So, it's a FPS (First Person Shooter!) and you can design your own character - what a surprise, M has designed a hot, cyborg lady with blonde hair and giant sunglasses (an homage to his wife, perhaps?)  and she runs around shooting Reapers (gawd).  Seth Green does one of the voices.

As far as I can tell, he spends a lot of time in the menus, doing God knows what.  Switching guns, I suppose.  Or changing outfits.  BTW, there's an old article in the NYT about how much time men spend dressing their characters in video games.  Very interesting.  But, anyway, to my (keen) eye, Mass Effect 3 appears to be very similar to Rage and Killzone, which was pretty similar to Call of Duty.  What I think would really be more interesting would be if the FPS were like a detective?  And she needed to solve a murder while exploring a seaside town on the north side of England.  And she crept around in stone cottages and cleaned out attics and drank tea and called people "Pet".  Sure, she's lonely sometimes but being a woman at her level on the force required a lot of sacrifices.  Shooting is largely unnecessary because she solves her cases with a combination of feminine intuition and trenchant knowledge of the human condition.


Anonymous said...

Well, it's 3rd person and 1st person and it's an RPG with FPS elements. :)

Also it's critically acclaimed, just like Firefly.

Um and the voice control is really cool, although I don't use it very much because my kinect is kinda flaky.

d00dpwn1337 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
d00dpwn1337 said...

It's critically acclaimed, just like firefly.

It's really kind of an RPG with FPS elements and it is both 3rd person and 1st person. Also the voice control is pretty cool, but my kinect is pretty flaky so it gave up on that.