What's on?

Doesn't the Colbert Report suck? What a disappointment. I don't like Stephen Colbert 'cause he has a face, I like to say, that I don't like. But he really does, you know? If you have a face like that, I'm sorry, but I won't like you. But anyway, you're almost guaranteed to be a jerk, just like all guys who have a face like that are. In other TV news, Monday's season premier of Arrested development was hilarious. "Church and State Fair"! That kills me! Also I can't get enough of America's Next Top Model. I'm totally over The Gilmore Girls - I mean, how boring can one show get? OMG, I don't know WHY, really, but last week for some reason I watched a Trading Spouses or something? And you know they're always making these ridiculous pairs? They're like, "Let's see what happens when we put vegetarian, African American woman from NYC who works for the ACLU in the home of a bunch of rednecks in Tennessee who run a pig farm!" Anyway, in this one, it was, "Let's see what happens when we put an ignorant born-again Christian in the home of some light-weight hippies who check their horoscope in the morning!" Well, I'll tell you, she totally freaked out. She freaked out so hard, it was a two parter, and ever since then I've been absolutely torn as to whether I should watch the second half, which very well could have been on last night. OMG, WHAT did I just DO? I checked the TV listings. It's on TONIGHT after ANTM. Oh God! "Let's find out if Kelly will watch the most ridiculous show on earth that will make her feel like friggin' Einstein or be responsible and finish grading the 27 papers she still has left!" Stay tuned!