Thursday, May 29, 2008

Look out!

Just looking at a large body of water is relaxing, isn't it? I like to pretend Lake Michigan is the ocean sometimes. You can see the other side, and yesterday a lone surfer added to my illusion. This morning the lake was so beautiful. To paraphrase Forrest Gump, I couldn't tell where the earth ended and the sky began.

Riding my bike along the lake path is a great beginning and end to my work day, but sometimes it does get a bit stressful because I have to be careful not to, you know, get killed. Why oh why do people not use their turn signals? I'm sure the gentle Agoraphobia reader would never dream of not using their turn signals, but I have to wonder, just who are these reckless A-holes that threaten nearly every day to actually murder me?

I also spend a lot of time thinking about what kind of person pees on the toilet seat - another daily threat for which I must remain ever vigilant. I have to figure it's some kind of lunatic woman who crouches above the seat, peeing in a semi-circular fashion so as to cover the enter horse-shoe of the toilet seat in urine. She avoids germs, and yet, ironically, thinks nothing of leaving her own human waste for others to deal with.

We're all doomed.

12 comments:

kbmulder said...

I have some answers.

-Every time I've been behind a cop that turns, they do not use signals.

-Sometimes I think the industrial flushers are so powerful, they spray pee and water back up on the seat during the flush.

kbmulder said...

Do you have an "ocean" view from your office?

Special K said...

I do! Here's a pic of my view.

Anonymous said...

My Dearest Kelly, you need to go to a Cubs game and end the day after the game at Harry Carey's bar with a good ol' Budweiser, (but don't ride your bike there!)

KHM said...

Amen, K. Those hovering pee-ers are thinking only of themselves. Public Health officials everywhere know that neither illness nor anything else yucky is spread through contact with toilet seats...

The folks who drive best around cyclists are those who've been there---it annoys me! I did, only once, throw a water bottle (I had two; what the heck?) at someone who ran me off the road and while it took a minute to calm the man down, he did finally understand the danger his carelessness had put me in. But I'm not really recommending you do that. Maybe startle folks with a well-timed smack on their trunk deck or a great shout?

One last thing about bad public restroom behavior: those people who are so reluctant to touch anything in the bathroom that they use their foot to flush---yeah---those feet that have just been god knows where but certainly the bathroom floor, right? And now whatever was on their foot is on the flusher. Nice. I could smack me some germophobes sometimes.

Get a life...bacteria, viruses, fungus---none of them are that powerful---and you SHOULD be washing your hands, sooooooo.....

Indiana Fan said...

Hey, K. I think I know exactly what you're talking about.

We'll do some serious celebrating that we aren't those sort of people tonight!

-D.

Carrie said...

Ok, so I have a question for Kathy. The toliet seat cover in the stall- good idea or waste of time?

clterry said...

To answer Carrie's question, I think a total waste of time due to, its tissue paper there is no barrier and if there is any pee on the seat the tissue paper soaks it up and gets it closer to your ass. How many times does it not stay on the seat and you end up touching it b/c it doesn't flush down like it is suppose too.

Working in the hosptial, I am a complete germophobe. I do not touch anything in any bathroom unless its my own.

K, I would love to be able to ride my bike to work by a lake. It would refreshing and such a nice way to get your day started. You are so lucky, sorry there are so many dumbasses who don't put you first when they are driving.

KHM said...

Carrie: if it makes you feel better, go for it. It does very little that you might not accomplish with wiping using a clump of tissues which is a less of a hassle, IMO.

KHM said...

CLTerry: Hospitals are the germiest places in the world. You should definitely be cautious there. I a Micro professor in college who always said that microbiologists, physicians and nurses are folks who should always was their hands BEFORE they go to the bathroom---and after, as well...

Special K said...

Twas my beloved cousin CLT who taught me how to wash my hands like a nurse and exit without touching anything: 1. Roll out some paper towels
2. turn on water, wash hands
3. rip off paper, dry hands,
4. turn off water with towel
5. open door with towel
6. toss paper towel in trash on way out the door!

clterry said...

That is exactly right, K. I'm so glad you use my technique. Even S and L know not to touch the door handle.

Yes, I do wash my hands prior to going to the bathroom at work and then again after. Maybe that's why my hands are so dry.