Thursday, June 24, 2010

Bella's Engagement RingTM

One of the oddest things about the Twilight novels is that Bella wants, more than anything, for Edward to change her into a vampire because she wants to be with him forever, like, literally. And, she gets really depressed on her birthday because he was made a vampire when he was 17 or something, and when she turns 17, she's like, OMG, I'm getting old, I can't stand for my bf to see me all old and disgusting and like, 20 years old. Gag.

So, anyway, he's like, Alright, I'll make you a vampire, but first we have to get married. And then she's like, Ewww. I don't really want to get married. It's so permanent. But he for realsies doesn't want to have sex until they get married, so eventually (spoiler) they get married.

And, naturally, he gives her an engagement ring, and don't you know that YOU can also buy Bella's Engagement RingTM and:

Experience your romance with Edward Cullen in a whole new way when you slip on Bella's Engagement RingTM! You'll love showing off the radiant stones in this elegant, domed-oval, gold ring. In true Victorian-era design, your ring is created by master artisans with an open-work gallery and a finely polished edge that surrounds the brilliant faceted stones. How exciting for you to own the only, Original, Bella's Engagement RingTM in the world! We are pleased to offer this beautiful ring in three versions to suit your style and pocketbook: Fashion, Fine, and Genuine. The three versions have the same stunning appearance; they are just made of different materials. Additionally, we are happy to present this classic ring in two colors, yellow or white gold. The ring that Edward gave to Bella is described as gold, so if you want your ring to be exactly like Bella's, order Yellow Gold; or if you prefer the silver or white-gold look, order White Gold.

Fashion Ring: Price $59.00/Sale Price $35.00
You heard it right, that's a gold-plated ring with 13 "fine Russian CZs" that is somehow also the only, original, Bella's Enagement RingTM in the world. It is widely agreed that this is one of the ugliest rings ever made in human history. Common lore has it that Stephanie Meyer designed it herself, and you know she's got great taste. Congratulations!

1 comment:

KHM said...

THAT'S crazy.