Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Democratic Process!

Well, I just got back from voting in the primaries, and am now filled with both a feeling of satisfaction and an odd sense of wonderment. Make that wondering: wondering whether or not my vote will actually be counted. I was asked, so casually, that (all important) PaperOrPlastic question - PaperOrElectronic? I did some quick thinking: which was more likely to be counted properly? Paper? I said. That's good, right? The young man did not inspire confidence. Probably it'll be fine, he said. Probably?!? I marked my choice (H.C.), I slid it into the machine. It slid back out. I protested. I was assured that it was counted, even though a receipt came out that said Vote Not Registered or some crap.

Anyway, don't let any of this deter YOU, fine citizen, from going out and voting for the (democrat) of your choice. A certain husband's grandma tried to convince me why she doesn't vote and it only filled me with a boiling rage. You cannot convince me that you shouldn't vote (yes, helpless old women send me into a boiling rage). But, I just have to think: Jesus Effing Christ! For hundreds of years we've been voting in this country and still it's a friggin' cock-mess? I've seen high school prom queen elections with more integrity!

Here are four simple suggestions for a better voting system:
1. Dip voter's finger in ink, mark ballot. Beat inkless finger people in the street at end of day.
2. Arrive at voters' station, pick up jelly bean. Put it in jar associated with candidate. Have huge jelly bean party the next day.
3. Text 001 for Obama, 002 for Hilary. Ryan Seacrest hosts.
4. Have one STANDARDIZED, goddamn paper ballot that's used at every polling station in the US. Holy Frick! Do I have to do EVERYTHING?

6 comments:

Kathy said...

Well, no. But since you have such a nice plan going already....

I'd be unhappy about the "vote not registered" thing. I think I'd call the Board of Elections in your County. They'll have a hotline.

Drew said...

K, as we have all seen, I disagree with you guys on many political things, but I totally agree with the "not voting" thing. We have such a privilege to be able to vote for our leaders in this country and it is sad that more people don't take that seriously.

I think there is something to the texting in the vote. A definite way to get the younger generation involved. Not sure how the logistics of it would work, but it couldn't be much worse than some of the current polling problems.

Kathy said...

I would never, ever, never, ever, not vote but ummm... I think people have the right to chose when they do or don't participate in the process.

I know, I know. Throw stuff at me. I want everyone to vote, too; especially the ones who would vote for my guys, but its not like that. We can't make them. But I find it irresponsible, too. And maybe negligent.

Kumbaya, everyone. Yeesh.

Lyman said...

We took Milo to vote today. Pictures to come soon.

Bianca Reagan said...

I didn't vote because I was sick, and the choice between my candidates seemed like Coke or Pepsi.

Laura said...

I'm with you, Kel... even if one may think a single vote doesn't count... people in this country have fought every step of the way for their RIGHT to vote and have their voices heard, even if those voices are small. If one doesn't vote every step of the way, they have NO RIGHT to bitch about ANYTHING elected officials do with their power/seat/authority!