If DeBordian Perruque Picked the Oscars!

Best Actress
Ellen Page- Although I actually think Ellen Page delivers a great teenage hipster-nerd/know-it-all performance, I would normally look for awards to go for to an actress with a role with more... um, range and gravitas? But Page works really well with the talent that surrounds her in Juno, and furthermore, was evidently pivotal in the creation of the soundtrack. Special K has already noted the recent interview with The Washington Post: "I call myself a feminist when people ask me if I am, and of course I am 'cause it's about equality, so I hope everyone is. You know you're working in a patriarchal society when the word feminist has a weird connotation." I gotta say, she seems like a cool and smart young woman. While there were some other great performances out there, Ellen Page was just so integral to the way that the movie developed that the award should be hers.

Honorable Mention: Amy Adams in Enchanted

Best Actor
Tobey Maguire deserves some credit for a great run as Peter Parker/Spiderman. I really liked all the Spider-Man movies, and Spider-Man 3 was a good ending to the trilogy. Maguire doesn't seem to make a lot of movies, but he owned the iconic role of Peter Parker. I personally loved the strut-scene, but I think he also captured the dark as well as the dork in the character. I doubt there will ever be another character that had as much to offer Maguire, or that there's another actor that will fit Peter Parker so well.

Honorable Mention: Simon Pegg in Hot Fuzz, Matt Damon in Bourne Ultimatum

Best Supporting Actor
James Marsden, Enchanted
It's slim pickings here, so I'll just re-iterate that Enchanted is a fun, silly send-up of the Princess Genre. James Marsden has a consistent willingness to dive headfirst into an earnest goofiness I always get a kick out of. It'd be great to see him actually get some roles besides Cyclops, but at least Cyclops had the good sense to kick the bucket minutes into the crushingly awful X3. It's tough to leave out the carefully crafted irresponsible character that Jason Bateman put together in Juno, but Marsden just performs with such glee.

Honorable Mention: Jason Bateman in Juno, Michael Cera in Juno

Best Supporting Actress
Allison Janney, Juno

I've been an Allison Janney fan ever since 1999. I most remember her role as Ms. Perky in 10 Things I Hate About You, but she was also great in Drop Dead Gorgeous and American Beauty in that same year. Evidently she was amazing in the West Wing, but here she has a great turn as Juno's dad's second wife. Janney has a nice little role in Juno with some meaty bits that she just devours.

Honorable Mention: Jennifer Garner in Juno

Best Director
Paul Greenglass for The Bourne Supremacy.
I was no fan of the grainy & shaky quick-cut cam that was omnipresent in the last Bourne movie, but Greenglass thankfully ditched most of that for enjoyable action sequences packed around a solid continuation of the Bourne character development and themes. It was great to get my catharsis in the theater in seeing a good soldier grow a conscience and beat the system, but the Bourne movies have now become the only action films I really enjoy.

Honorable Mention: Wes Anderson for Darjeeling Limited

Best Picture
Juno

Even though Juno is an unrealistic, crowd-pleasing, glib "indie" film that's nominated for real life awards, and it is even #57 on the stuff white people like, it is actually a really good film. The first few minutes of patter give way some really interesting and funny conversations, and there's a certain immature depth of emotional experience to be found here as well. It's also really funny, has a great and appropriate soundtrack, and I think that it, overall, is an accurate painting of teenage experience. The supporting cast is outstanding, and yes, I admit that Juno was the only film I saw last year. Enjoy your schaudenfreude as you laugh at my pathetic attempt at an awards ceremony. But at least I created, contributed something to the world... while you, you just criticize! Those who can't do, teach. Those who can't teach, criticize! Attica! Attica!
Okay, seriously, Juno's pretty great. Check it out.

Additional Bonus Category! Best Monster: The Host

The Korean movie The Host was often over-the-top silly, and incomprehensible in its character development, but the monster is totally worth the price of admission. And honestly, I think the Host was probably the best monster I've ever seen in a sci-fi/horror film.