Team this and that

The most common type of Twilight merchandizing seems to be of the "Team Edward" or "Team Jacob" variety. These things are especially moronic because, if you've read the books, which I mostly have, you'll know that it's not really a contest between the two dudes, Edward "completes" Bella, as much as one soulless character can complete another soulless character. To reference a movie no Twi-hard is likely to have ever seen, it's like in Pretty in Pink where Duckie would clearly make the better boyfriend because he totally gets Andie and like, worships her, but, that dummy just goes for the spoiled rich guy who's all concerned about appearances and whatnot.

I've never actually SEEN any Twilight "Team" merchandise being worn in the wild but there's a HUGE amount of it online. Here's only one example which throws in a "Team Bella" just for good measure.



To me, even "Team Jolie" v. "Team Aniston" makes more sense than these Twilight teams, because, I guess you could be like, "Theoretically, I'm 'team Jolie' because you love who you love etc." or "Theoretically, I'm 'team Aniston' because it's just not cool to start dating someone's husband even if you supposedly DO have some insane animal attraction to them or whatever." But, say you're watching Pretty in Pink, and, while you're watching it, you're like, "I'm 'team' Duckie" but, by the time it's over, you're like, Oh, she goes with the rich guy, oh well, I'm going to go make a t-shirt that says "Team Duckie" or go on with my life?

There's also a huge amount of "Team Switzerland" nonsense, which is perhaps an extremely simplified view of foreign policy combined with the concept that someone chooses not to commit to either fiction character Edward or fiction character Jacob but rather to leave their options open, for example, if either fictional character were to somehow become animated and fall for the person in question. The person wearing a "Team Switzerland" button, for example.


PS. It turns out there is some "Team Duckie" shit out there.