Anjelina Jolie Pregnant with Twins?!?!

I don't think I'll be able to handle it if Angelina Jolie is pregnant with twins. Excuse me, pregnant with Brad Pitt's twins, which is how everyone seems to be wording it. I'll never understand the obsession with celebrity baby stories - but it sure sells the rags, doesn't it? Nothing ruins standing in line at the grocery quite like the dimple-cheeked offspring of the starved. I like looking at pics of my nephews like nothing else, but, as everyone knows, there's nothing more dull than looking at pics of kids you don't know. I'm telling you, seriously, mark my words, in 13 years or so, we're going to see some major recriminations from today's wee little ones, when they start demanding residuals.

I found this lame-ass article by this woman who writes, "...I can’t deny the appeal that a celebrity’s status as a mother has on my interest in them. Maybe other people aren’t as simple-minded as I am, but what do I know? I’m just a mom." Seriously? I'm pretty sick of this I'm-busy-raising-my-kids-so-I-don't-have-time-to-use-my-brain-excuse that people like to trot out. What do we care what the children of the Cruises, the Britneys, the scary Nicole Richies and the Robertses look like? I mean, it's simple: if the kids are really lucky, they won't end up cracked out of their minds or under the parental care of Kevin Federline. But, more likely, they're going to end up pretty effed up, just like the rest of us, because not only do they live in a celebrity-obsessed culture, but they're the object of obsession.

Or maybe Jolie is selflessly, single-handedly trying to revive our dying economy (ie. baby "bump" rumors spur on sales of magazines, more women get pregnant to follow "trend" of making babies, buy whatever stroller the Jolie-Pitts are pushing their twins around in. Oh, excuse me, his twins).