She's Crafty

Lately I've been feeling like making some crafts, so I've been looking around online for ideas and directions. What I really want to make is a hat with kitten ears on - I can only crochet, not knit, so I had trouble finding a pattern, but I think this one might work.

I don't really like the word "crafts" - I grew up in rural Indiana and, to me, "crafts" means wooden hearts and sewing bonnets for a concrete goose in the yard. Once a new friend asked me if I was crafty and I was like How. Dare. You. But I'd be totally cool with "crafts" if they were called crrrrrafts.

Last week my project was to make Valentines for friends - here's one:
And now I feel like doing some more stuff. Like, maybe figure out this felting business Martha's up to. A couple of my friends are just the absolute QUEENS of the second hand shop - perhaps I can arrange another date with them and hook up some old sweaters. Looks like you can make felt and then all KINDS of neat stuff - like mittens and hats and stuffed animals and blankets and pillows. And, OMG, check out what this crrrrafter (Knitgrrl - see?) is doing with felt!

I can't help but notice that everything in the shops is this really cool, updated vintage, deconstructed, ironic, OUTRAGEOUSLY expensive stuff that I want really bad but I'm all *scoff* I can make that myself. So, I'm going to do it, darn it! (darn it! Get it?)^*

Here're some the websites that are inspiring me. Let me know if you know of others!
Craftzine
U Handbag
Whip Up
Posie get's cozy
Craftbits
Instructables
Crochet Pattern Central

^* I am a class-A nerd, I know.

Baby it's cold outside

This morning I trudged to the Art Institute in what appeared to be 3 feet of snow and 20 mph winds. Why, you might ask, haven't they offered me a job yet? Who could be more devoted? No one, that's who. Ah, well. Despite the fact that walking down the street would be greatly improved with snow shoes, and it's cold, and hard to see, I found myself having a great day today - it's the kind of snow that makes you feel like a kid again. This morning M. and I picked out our favorite snowflakes as they landed on my red wool coat - real, perfect, practically unique, gothic snowflakes! What a morning! We saw a neighbor kid walk out of his house and immediately throw himself face-first in the snow!

I felt a sort of camaraderie with my fellow Chicagoans - it's like, "Oh, Baby! THIS is what it's like to live in Chicago!" We were all grimacing and grinning at each other in this gay parade that we call life. I was standing on the corner of Michigan Avenue, sort of back from the curb so I didn't get splashed by a bus or pushed into oncoming traffic by the wind, and I thought, "Wow. All the choices I've made in my life have lead to this moment: me, standing in the miserable cold, up to my knees in snow!" What could I do but laugh?

I think I'm getting sick

Ugh, I think I'm getting sick. Why oh why do I have to spend every winter with a cold? I wonder if that crazy acupuncturist was right and I eat too much dairy. But I'll never turn my back on cheese. NEVER!

This afternoon I watched The Architect with Anthony LaPaglia, Isabella Rossellini, Hayden Panettiere (AKA: "The" Cheerleader). See? It's all coming together - did you see Rossellini on 30 Rock (my new fave show)? She's hysterical. That show is high-larious, why did I avoid it for so long? Last night they mentioned Otto Dix... and just a week ago I was saying television's a cultural wasteland. I've had a crush on LaPaglia since back in the DAY. I'm talking Betsy's Wedding. "Meatballs don't go between bread... it's undignified." Come ON! That's like one of the funniest lines of all time. ANYwho, The Architect was pretty good - takes place in Chicago and peripherally has to do public housing. It was good, I'd recommend it.

So...

I'm not a maniac about proper grammar, but I've got a couple of pet peeves. I don't like ending a sentence in a preposition, I do consider people who don't know when to use your or you're complete and utter idiots, and I can't STAND it when people say "So" at the end of a sentence. Lately I'm seeing it crop up a lot on television, as if it passes as actual, acceptable dialogue! I can understand it on reality tv - like, for example, tonight this woman on Beauty and the Geek said, "I'll NEVER milk a cow again. It's disgusting, AND I don't even drink milk. So." I guess it's only a matter of time until they ask a bunch of bikini models to milk a cow. But last night I counted four instances of sentences ending in "So" on the Gilmore Girls! The Gilmore Girls! A model of snappy, smart, quick and clever dialogue!

The most insidious aspect of this So-business is that it implies "Insert carefully reasoned thought here" while sparing the speaker of actually carefully reasoning. I like ending sentences in Arg! ARG!

This would be cool if

This would be really cool if Tyra actually stood behind her convictions - but even this short clip betrays the hypocrisy that rules everything that comes out of her mouth. She seems to be saying, in the longer clip, that the famous "fat" photo has been manipulated by the tabs - if it has (and that seems likely) - why not call it out? But at the same time that Tyra is desperately trying to show us that she's not "fat" (and, in fact, going on the Larry King show and People magazine to further declare how not "fat" she is), she's slinging around her typical double-speak about self-acceptance. It's like she's saying, It's ok to look like this, BUT I DO NOT LOOK LIKE THIS! And to prove it, I'M STANDING HERE IN A BATHING SUIT! Obviously, she's nowhere near fat, she didn't need to drag out her suit in February to tell us that. She's 5' 10" and says her weight fluctuates between 145-160 lbs. That's perfectly healthy for a woman of her height.

What would be amazing would be if Tyra actually stood behind the convictions that she seems pretty close to espousing here, but, instead, she perpetuates the very culture of unhealthy weights in women that she claims to despise. What would be awesome would be if she actually took real steps promote so-called plus-sized women on America's Next Top Model (so far the women that were considered plus-size on that show were about size 10 or 12) instead of booting them off the show one after another for "lack of personality". What would be so great, would be if Tyra came out explained that tabloids exist because people support them and if people stopped reading them they'd go away and then, people actually did it.

Superbowl Recap

Well, my Indiana friends and family are pretty pleased with the outcome of the Superbowl last night. Here's an email I got from my dad:

K, How about that game? Hope your crowd was great and had a good time! Did any of them write a poem for the Colts victory? Would you do me a favor please and get me a Chicago newspaper on monday, I would appreciate it very much! I think L. got pretty wet...but i don't think he cared. Gotta go to bed......Love Dad (Colts championship parade and rally tomorrow!)

I did not write a poem for the win, but I did write one more rhythm for our party:

We are the R__s and we like to eat
Our favorite foods are cheese and meat!
If you’re a vegetarian, that’s ok too,
We’ll cook up some rabbit food for you!
Go Colts! Go Bears! We hope you BRING IT!
As for who wins, who gives a darn?

My friend G. did a better job at explaining the whole like, point of football than any I'd previously heard, although there was a lot of Ho Ho Ho-ing from a certain husband who suddenly knows all about football. Her, I think, rather apt explanation of ... I forget what it's called, but how, like, if the team is on the fourth of its fourth tries, and they get scared they're not going to make it to their "down," then they can kick the ball as far as they can - makes sense. "Live-ball fouls not penalized as dead-ball fouls when the ball is loose shall be penalized from the basic or previous spot" does not make sense.

Which reminds me - this is hilarious:
A football Halftime pep talk given by someone who knows nothing about football - Namely, Me

A few days ago I posted a picture of the Art Institute's lions with their special headgear - here's my interpretation of Chicago-at-large today:
Mike ran to the store before our party and I asked him to pick up some decorations. He came back with these Bears tissues, which came in handy.

¿Qué es esto?

M.'s been dying to see Pan's Labyrinth ever since he noticed it got a 100% cream of the crop on Rotten Tomatoes. We finally went to see it last night - and as we were having dinner beforehand, M. was getting kind of nervous that it would sell out. I was all, "Relax. It's not going to sell out. For one thing, it's been out for a long time. And it's an indie film. And for another thing, it's foreign."

And he said, "It's foreign?"

Ah, that takes me back.

Although Pan's Labyrinth (El Laberinto del Fauno) is really beautiful and imaginative, it's gory and disturbing, and I got grossed out and disturbed. If I never see another person get shot in the face, it'll be too soon.

I also watched an old movie called San Francisco (1936) with Clark Gable and a younger Spencer Tracy. It mostly sucked, aside from the ending where (I hope I don't ruin it for you!) there's this big, you know, earth quake. After the earth quake, it gets oppressively religious. The whole town walks around arm in arm singing "The Battle Hymn of the Republic". It's surreal.

Throughout the movie, Jeanette MacDonald sings this song "San Francisco" about 20 times. That song's lyrics made me sentimental about my old town, and I imagined myself returning in my old age and singing it, like the cheeseball I am.

San Francisco, open your golden gate
You let no stranger wait outside your door.
San Francisco, here is your wanderin' one
Saying "I'll wander no more."
Other places only make me love you best,
Tell me you're the heart of all the golden west.
San Francisco, welcome me home again;
I'm coming home to go roaming no more!

Where Sports and Arts Meet

The Art Institute got into the Superbowl Spirit by putting these Cubs hats on the famous lions.^*

M. and I are having a party on Sun. - we usually have one every year - I suspect that this year people might actually watch the game. The Evite displays the creativity of
our friends - everyone's written a little rhythm! Here are some:

My name is K. and I ain't no foo
I'd like to watch the superbowl with you.
I don't like football, it seems to plod -
I prefer books and AWAD.
With my mouth full of cheetos, my voice is muffled,
so just watch as I do the Superbowl Shuffle.

This is the M_ster, I'm a lover not a fighter.
I love our cat Kaya though she's a scratcher and a biter.
I don't like to dance, I have two left feet.
My best moves are online where I'm totally 733T.
When I go to In 'n' Out I get a double double.
But at this party I'll be doing the Cheeto Shovel.

My name is G., I suck at rhymin',
I'm always late so I'm no good at timin'.
But I can mix and I can beat,
and make a tasty dish of cheese and meat.
So much stuff I'll drink and eat,
I won't be able to leave my seat.
Though I'm stuck on the couch, my cheers you can't muffle,
I'm too full to do the Superbowl Shuffle

You're lookin' at the Chunk, My gut is ample.
I exist to be the "fat kid" example.
I've got no girlfriend, I'm no "hunk,"
but you'd best believe that "Sloth love Chunk."
I can dance, you will see, but only 'cause it's forced on me.
The Goonies always get into trouble.
To get into your house, I'll do the Truffle Shuffle.

My name is D., and I'm not so clever.
Colts-Bears is fun that will repeat, never.
I wanna shout, go Bears go Colts,
but all that comes out is just GO BOLTS!
Rooting for both teams is a right kerfuffle,
so watch me rock and shake doing the Thorazine Shuffle.

They call me O., I like to dance.
Sometimes I have a dream where I'm not wearing any pants.
Can't wait to go to R.s' to see the Super Bowl,
and bring something I call "Hecky's Casserole."
We didn't come here to eat no Ruffles (TM),
we just came here to do the Super Bowl Shuffle.

I've got the best friends ev-ah!


^*The bronze lions were made for the Art Institutes's opening on Michigan Avenue in 1893. They were sculpted by Edward Kemeys a gift from Mrs. Henry Field (yes, the Fields of the Field Museum. Note: I tried to find the poor woman's actual name, but couldn't). BTW, the Art Inst. is FREE during the month of February! GO!

Oh, you think you're smart?

This morning I happened upon this Intelligence Test - it turns out I am merely "intellegent." I got 16. 19 is "genius." It goes like this - it says, 24 H in a D, and then you write 24 Hours in a Day.

If anyone knows what the H 11 P in a F (S) T or 23 P of C in the H B means, please tell me.

We Smoke as We Flip the Bird

This is hilarious. As a promotion for Aqua Teen Hunger Force - a great cartoon on Adult Swim - lighted boards had been put up around major cities in the US, and for some reason in Boston, they were thought to be bombs and they ended up closing several bridges and part of the Charles River. As Ignignokt would say, "We do whatever we want whenever we want, at all times."
But seriously, this fear of terrorism is out of control. Curse you, Bush Administration!

Weekend

Over the weekend we went to Indiana to a baby shower I hosted with a friend for my sister and her husband. We hooked up a web cam, since they couldn't travel to the party, and it was really fun. It was like, there was this big party, and my sister was in this one corner of the room - and everyone virtually mingled. Web camming is so fun! I'm so excited that we're going to be able to talk face to face (as it were) from now on! Maybe flying cars are next. (When I was a kid, I thought The Future would be all about video phones and flying cars.)

In other news, M. and I are going through the excruciating process of buying our first (and last?) home! The size of our future mortgage sure puts my student loans in perspective. Here's a short list of things I won't miss about apartments:

• Our insane landlord who feigns Alzheimer's when we remind him again and again what needs fixin', and who, when I called him on our move in day to inform him that A. the front door had come off in my hand and B. there was no seat on the toilet, told me to never call him about "little things."
  
• That persistent HAMMERING in the basement. WILL YOU BE QUIET!?!?
  
• Doing laundry in a creepy basement with an untended sewer problem (see List Item #1) - exiting building in snow/rain/freezing cold, reentering (poopy) basement, discovering neighbor has used all my fabric softener...
  
• White walls. I am SO SICK of white apartment walls.
  

But, perhaps I am counting my chickens before they hatch...

So Amusing!

A few amusing online divertissements for your diversion:


Handsome Donkey - well made, hilarious video shorts. My favorites: Le Montage and Photograph.

28%? That much?

I've been complaining about how there's never anything good on television, but lately I've been thinking to myself, (Self) When HAS there been a glut of fantastic shows on tv? When, exactly, was this golden age of television? And, naturally, I came to the conclusion that there actually are a ton of terrific shows on right now, but there's just a ridiculously disproportionate number of absolutely abysmal shows on too. Last night, for example, I had the choice of watching Veronica Mars, or a president with a 28% approval rate (who are these people, anyway?) give the State of the Union. I watched GW lie and point fingers and predict doom for 6 years now, so last night I was ready for some of that good tv I'm interested in. Just imagine, instead of watching Logan come to the realisation that getting a bj from a skanky ho in the parking lot just doesn't compare to the emotional connection he had with Veronica, I could have been suffering through GW's complicated, worthless plan to provide health care to only 5 million of the 47 million Americans that don't have any HEALTH CARE.

Is Hillary's invitation to "chat" better or worse than Fear Factor, Bad Girls, and American Idol? I'd say it was about on par with the originality and spontaneity of this. I don't get it - I know H. Clinton is a strong woman with liberal views, but she's so worried about projecting an image and matching her goddamn pink sweater and pearls for the State of the Union and carefully crafting an answer to "What is your favorite movie?" when she (like all Dems) needs to get the damn lead out. I'm telling you, last night should have been a riot! They should have booed Bush off the stage and thrown tomatoes at him for what he's done to this country.

Blogging for Choice

Yesterday was Blog for Choice day - I've been catching up on some of the writings from various feminist sites. I think my friend D. said it best, "I am for Choice because I believe women are human beings. As such, they deserve to have the ability to make their own decisions." It steams me that women's rights aren't protected in this country. I myself have been given the run-around just trying to pick up my birth control at the pharmacy (not to mention the times in my life I could barely afford it because it wasn't covered by my insurance). Attempts to over-rule Roe v. Wade are just indicative of this country's (and an unfortunate number of its populace's) refusal to see women as full human beings.

Apparently Bush declared yesterday "National Sanctity of Human Life Day" and has pulled that shit every Jan. 22nd since he's been in office. This former soldier has put together a photo essay with text from the White House's message to show just how much this administration has respected the sanctity of human life. Beware the faint of heart, the content is graphic.

You know we're just struttin' for fun

Late last week, I became peripherally aware of several football games, the importance of which was impressed upon me by my brother-in-law's blog and this crazy lady at the Post Office.

M. and I were in a store while the Bears were playing today, and I said, "Who's winning?" And this guy says, "The Bears are!" and I say, "Did the Colts play yet?" and he says, "No, this afternoon. You a Colt's fan?" I wasn't quite clear on the correct answer to that question so I said, "We're from Indiana." This was taken as a "yes." We were smiled at, nodded at. The cashier said, "I'm a Colts fan." Ditto for the guy. Also for the woman who's always standing next to the cashier of this place. "I guess it would be cool," I say, "If the Colts and the Bears go to the Superbowl." Everyone agreed. There seems to be a lot of interest in keeping the Superbowl Midwestern in these parts.

And so it shall be. We went home and watched the last 10 minutes or so of the Bears game - it was a really miserable day today in Chicago and I felt bad for all those guys running around in the snow, so close to the lake. M. said, "Do you know these guys..." and I said, "Don't to tell me about the economics of football, I just watched Jerry McGuire this week. They have a shelf-life of four years!" We watched most of the Colts game. We usually have a Superbowl party every year (although we usually need someone to tell us what day it is and when it starts) and our friends come over and we eat cheese and meat until we're sick and no one watches the game. Wow, I can't believe I've blogged about sports twice in one month!

Must See TV

Tonight was the much anticipated musical episode of Scrubs. Would it, I wondered, be as good as the Buffy musical episode? Well, no. In traditional musicals, people just randomly burst into song, and it's the rare instance where people sing for a reason. In the Buffy musical, which was, as everyone knows, the single greatest television event in history, everyone sings because this evil demon has possessed the townspeople, and eventually, they sing and dance themselves to death! And, it's really awesome because not only are the songs really terrific and funny, but they also moved the plot of the entire series along.

The reason there's singing on Scrubs is because this woman has a gigantic aneurysm in her brain and her reality's a bit distorted. Like on Buffy, the songs allowed for some character exploration, as in a tango number between Turk and Carla where she complains about how he doesn't know her middle name and that she's Dominican, not Puerto Rican. But the show wasn't really very musical, despite being written by two composers from Avenue Q, and came off like a high school production (I'm not sure that wasn't the intention, actually.) The only person who seemed to have any real vocal talent was Aneurysm Woman (Stephanie D'Abruzzo, also from Avenue Q), and Sam Lloyd (Ted), who occasionally sings as part of a barbershop quartet.

As most television is getting worse and worse, I applaud shows like Scrubs and My Name is Earl for being some of the few scripted shows worth watching. I'm only mildly disappointed, because the truth is Scrubs has always highlighted musical talent, and they've introduced me to more than one artist that I've really loved. Maybe in the future they should leave the singing to the experts, though.

Peace

...I have the personal faith that mankind will somehow rise up to the occasion and give new directions to an age drifting rapidly to its doom. In spite of the tensions and uncertainties of this period something profoundly meaningful is taking place. Old systems of exploitation and oppression are passing away, and out of the womb of a frail world new systems of justice and equality are being born. Doors of opportunity are gradually being opened to those at the bottom of society. The shirtless and barefoot people of the land are developing a new sense of "some-bodiness" and carving a tunnel of hope through the dark mountain of despair. "The people who sat in darkness have seen a great light." Here and there an individual or group dares to love, and rises to the majestic heights of moral maturity. So in a real sense this is a great time to be alive. Therefore, I am not yet discouraged about the future.

From Dr. Martin Luther King's 1964 lecture in the Auditorium of the University of Oslo where he received the Nobel Peace Prize.

Lady in the Water

Last night we watched M. Night Shyamalan's Lady in the Water. I hated it, but M. liked it. I found it self-congratulatory and I think the movie takes itself way to seriously, even for a self-proclaimed "fairy tale." I ask you, does any greater nepotist than M. Night exist? Every time there was a close-up of some non-actor staring dumbly, I thought, "Oh, great, that must be his cousin." Also, the dude has got to stop casting himself.

How about this cluttered piece of dialogue? "A boy, in the midwest of this land, will grow up in a home where your book will be on the shelf and spoken of often." (insert your movie will be shown and spoken of often) "He will grow up with these ideas in his head. He will grow into a great orator. He will speak and his words will be heard throughout this land and throughout the world. This boy will become leader of this country and begin a movement of great change. He will speak of you and your words and your book will be the seeds of many of his great thoughts. They will be the seeds of change." So says the (you call her ethereal, I call her) creepy Brice Dallas Howard to M. Night's "character." OMG! Is that a JOKE?

But, most of all, the whole story is just completely implausible because I find it hard to believe that underwater people would ever have bangs. Like a group of advanced sea creatures are going to be like, "Oh, I need to cut my bangs, I'm getting hair in my face." Ridiculous.

Caption Contest

Write your caption in the comment section.

Sports Coverage

Yesterday my dad and brother came up for a basketball game at UIC against "a true Hoosier team" (according to D-van), Butler. Butler is supposedly 13th in the nation, but they lost to UIC last night, in what was probably one of the most boring games I've ever seen until the last 20 seconds, when they finally started hitting baskets, tied up the game and went into a mildly exciting overtime. I wasn't compelled to jump to my feet or anything, but other people did. Basketball has changed a lot since I've been to games, which I used to do in... high school. It was really commercial. Every time there was a time-out, the cheerleaders had to haul out all these advertisements thinly disguised as games for the crowd. Also, they threw t-shirts into the crowd and gave away pizzas. One was apparently meant to scream their head off for these valuable items. Like I'm gonna shout for a piece of Domino's pizza. Side note: the cheerleaders had much better aim with the t-shirts than the basketball players with the ball.

M. and I were slightly conflicted about our loyalties - sure, we're from IN, but we're Chicagoans now. I went ahead and cheered for both teams about equally and claimed to be there "for love of the game" to all detractors (ie: M). I know! it made me laugh to say it, too.

My dad is a big, big celebrity in Martinsville, where he hosts Damon's Coaches Show on WCBK. We discovered that if you just drive up to the parking garage and say, "We're on the list," you don't have to pay. Here's my dad sitting court side:

and here's my best action shot:

Maybe D-van will hire me as a guest commentator on Hoosier Fun Ball?

big warm fuzzy secret heart

My friend A. turned me on to this song Code Monkey by Jonathan Coulton, who, I discovered after further research, wrote a song a week for a year. It's like he looked deep into M's soul and wrote a song about him. Like how he's not crazy, just proud. And refers to code as "elegant." Oh, that cracks me up. You can download the song, and you can watch a bunch of videos made by nerds on YouTube, although, IMO, there's not really any stand-out one, not even the one mashed together with scenes from the Matrix, so don't get excited.

Little House

OMG, so, I'm flipping channels, and I see a rerun of the single most disturbing television show of my youth - this Little House on the Prairie in which Pa, for some reason, is driving his covered wagon next to this other family, and the other pater familias is not a skilled wagonsman like Pa, and their wagon goes careening down this slopping hill and they die! And Pa runs over to their wagon, and you see the other dude's bloody hand hanging out, and Pa lifts up the cloth of the wagon, and then, ugh! He has to look away! Oh, that haunted me - what did their mangled bodies LOOK LIKE? Meanwhile their two adorable children stood by, weeping with their mouths hanging open. One interesting tid-bit: Before they began riding down the hill, Pa says he'll drive his own wagon down, then come walk back up and drive their wagon down. That's kind of rude, right? Then, before the other guy drives his wagon down, he says to his wife, "Let's 'get 'er done'!" Get 'er done!?!? Is Little House on the Prairie the impetus for that?

Capital Punishment Will Not Deter Evil Dictators

I'm really disgusted with the coverage (not to mention the deed) of Saddam's hanging. Isn't it strange that as it turns 2007 it's like we live in the dark ages?

But I am excited about Nancy Pelosi becoming the first woman speaker of the House. The world still has a long way to go before women see real equality, but this is a good step in the right direction. There are only 82 women, or 15.3%, in the 535 seats in the 109th US Congress.

I predict we'll see great things out of Pelosi as speaker - not that it would be hard to top the honor and dignity that the Republicans brought to the White House.

I miss Arrested Development

Happy New Year!

After a lovely Christmas in Los Angeles, we returned home in time for New Years at my friend's "cottage." Had a terrific time eating, drinking champagne, playing games (Celebrity, anyone?), and admiring the view. Here's the last sunlight of 2006:

and here we all are being silly:

2006 was a good and bad year for me - I don't make resolutions, but I've got high hopes for 2007 (1. Gainful employment!) I wish you the best of luck in the upcoming year!

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas, everyone! I've had a great day, which started out with a lovely breakfast at my sister's place - to a marathon present-opening session (I got some beautiful, sparkly things!) and then later an awesome dinner of ham, stuffing, sweet potato casserole, mashed potatoes (yeah, that's how we do it - two types of potatoes!), brussels sprouts, and cranberry salad. Then we played a killer game of trivial pursuit, then we watched Talladega Nights. My brother-in-law was in LA for about 36 hours - and he's just off to NY again. I think in the next few days we're going to go to the Getty and the Observatory. Last night Mike and I went to Trader Vics for tiki drinks. Woo! I had a drink with a flaming lime in it!

Save Th' Grizzlies!

Sign this petition for safer practices in Glacier National Park.

Fool me once...

Yesterday C. and I hit a few galleries in Santa Monica and Venice beach. The first place we went to was the Rosamund Felsen Gallery in the Bergamot Station Arts Center, which has about 30 galleries. Rosamund Felsen is showing Kaz Oshiro and Dan Douke through December 30 - they're two trompe l’oeil artists whose work appears, respectively, as Toyota tailgates and cardboard boxes. The level of craftsmanship is so suburb that we went into the gallery and then had to march right back out to the snooty receptionist for more info on what we were looking at. Everything is acrylic on canvas, we were informed with a raised eyebrow. This type of work, sure, it's interesting, and you go in and you go, "Yup, that looks just like a cardboard box." And then what? In a way, today, it's practically reprehensible. I mean, in terms of representation, the contemporary painter's got to deal with certain challenges - where is the place of representational painting after photographs (not to mention Foucault - har har har), for example? So, you have Chuck Close, or other artists completely avoiding the representational completely. And then these trompe l'oeil artists essentially just showing off... What do they bring us that's NEW? I ask. (: Well, this is not my area, so there may be some major disagreement with my pov. Oh, btw, there was this big piece of plywood leaning against the wall, and as we were getting ready to leave I was grousing about how it didn't really fit in, but then it hit me, it was tromp l'oeil too. Arg!

Another show we saw was Gajin Fujita at the LA Louver. I thought his work was really fresh and funny. A great mix of traditional Edo-style Japanese art and street graffiti. Really beautiful work.

So, here's a funny story - the other day my sis and I were making cookies and fudge and we realized we were missing an ingredient, so I suggested we walk over to the grocery store, which is a block away from my sister's place. On the way to the gate of my sister's condo complex, she says, "How do we get out?" and I'm like, "What?!?!" She had NEVER WALKED out of the place, only driven. Ah, L.A.

The Holiday

Over the weekend C. and I saw The Holiday with Cameron Diaz and Kate Winslet. I was afraid it was going to be awful because it's written and directed by schlockmeister Nancy Meyer (Something's Gotta Give? Yes, it does!), but, actually, as I reference imdb.com, I see that she's also done several movies that I like, such as 1987's Baby Boom and 1984's Irreconcilable Differences. Ok, I havne't seen Irreconcilable Differences since I was 8, but back then, that was a film full of nuance.
While The Holiday did have some treacly and predicable moments, overall we both really enjoyed it - although maybe I'm just saying that because I saw it with my very pregnant sister and we both miss our husbands. And Jude Law is so very, very pretty. Jude Law is so pretty he makes Cameron Diaz look like a dog. So, it's about two women who find themselves unlucky in love, so they switch houses for two weeks, one goes to LA the other to Surrey, and, there, they find themselves lucky in love - what a surprise. Jack Black, once again delegated to supporting role status, is excellent as the music composer/love interest of Winslet. I love the scene where he walks through a rental shop, picking up movies and singing their theme songs. It was like I was transported back to High Fidelity (just the good parts.) ITEM! Jack Black is totally hot in this movie.
Meyer attempts to pat herself on the back with multiple references to old Hollywood and the great movies of yore, when leading ladies had "gumption" and movies "meant something." The Holiday is unlikely to be remembered in twenty years as having meant anything, but it could be just the perfect date-with-your-pregnant-sister-movie of the season.

Oooo - last night we watched Superman Returns - terrible! The only two redeeming features are the impossibly handsome Christopher Reeve look-a-like Brandon Routh (where'd they find that guy?), and, for us, the distraction of wondering where we'd seen James Marsden before (Cyclops! I didn't recognize you without your glasses!)

Sunshine on my Shoulder

I'm in California right now, visiting ma soeur. We're having a grand time, and I'm relishing not putting on a hat, gloves, boots, scarf, heavy coat with fur collar and even socks before I go outside. Aside from a phone interview for a job back in the windy city, I've mostly been just reading, hanging out with Murphy, and attempting not to leave my footprint in my sister's spotlessly clean house. Aside from where, as she puts it, my suitcase "exploded." Next weekend arrive my much-missed husband and certain parents. I've been itching to make about 6 dozen sugar cookies and survive only on their Christmasy nourishment. We've also got a gingerbread house in the works. We should invite our engineer-friends over for assistance.

C. and I watched Who Killed the Electric Car, got outraged, wondered what hydrogen fuel cells are. She's never seen ANTM, watched marathon yesterday, introduced C. to inherent hypocrisies of said show and the phenomenon of vagina arms. Then solved riddle that we've all been grappling with lately, which is the perfect way to describe Britney's "lady garden": a grandma's armpit in a tanktop.

Publication, baby!

My alma mater published a review I wrote about Nell Freudenberger's latest book, The Dissident, for the school magazine, FNews. It's a variation I wrote for my own book blog. Check it out!

Sorry, I'll be cataloguing words

A couple of interesting links:

The Holiday Party Excuse Generator - just select a couple of parimeters (How badly do you want to miss the party? How believable should the excuse be?) and it will generate an excuse for you that looks something like this:


And here's a new website called Wordie, which, according to their website, is "like Flickr, but without the pictures" where "you make lists of words -- practical lists, words you love, words you hate, whatever. You can then see who else has listed the same words, and talk about it. It's more fun than it sounds." ha. Well, we'll be the judge of that, won't we? I detest two words: intimate and preternatural. Ick. I do love many words, of course, I suppose some of my favorites are twee, tony, pantalones, just about anything in French, pea... Wordie looks like a good way to pass a boring day at work - here are a few pages to get you started: Acceptable two-letter Scrabble Words and words from the Collected Poems of W.H. Auden. I have to wonder if this might be the new match.com for nerds - who couldn't fall in love with Merfee, who loves lambaste, erstwhile, ramshackle and lugubrious?

Mary with Child

I'm rather interested in the media reaction to Mary Cheney's pregnancy. Wonder what it's like at the Cheney's during the holidays? "Gee, dad, thanks to you and your administration, my partner doesn't have full legal rights to our child. Hope I don't die. Or get sick." CNN posts the following comments from conservatives who took the opportunity to actually denounce her pregnancy. Says Janice Crouse of Concerned Women for America, "It's very disappointing that a celebrity couple like this would deliberately bring into the world a child that will never have a father." Wondering just how caaaaaa-raaaaazy it gets? Check out their website, and this article.

Carrie Gordon Earll, of Focus on the Family, offers this pearl of wisdom, "Just because you can conceive a child outside a one-woman, one-man marriage doesn't mean it's a good idea," Earll said. "Love can't replace a mother and a father." What I find particularly despicable about these gd conservative (OMG, CNN actually calls them) "think tanks" is that they actually think that a married man and a woman IN LOVE are required for a family. What is basically required (shocking to actually have to INFORM a "think tank," isn't it?) is an exchange of fluids between people who may or may not actually know each other's names (and I'm not, by the way, talking about artificial insemination). Focus on the Family! Give me a break! How do these groups even DARE to claim that they support families with a rigid definition of what a family is, and shun all those who don't fit their outdated, cruel and ignorant ideas of who is and isn't qualified to be a parent?

Stop! Thief!

So, this weekend, M. and I went to Target to do some Christmas shopping, and we're not in the store 5 minutes when someone took our cart, which, by the way, had about 3 or 4 items in it, and we were only about 20 feet away from the cart corral. So, M. grabs another cart and we shop, shop, shop, and we're in the home stretch. We're looking at an item for my brother (wow, I could totally tell you what it is because he's probably like, never read my blog. Ok - it's a headlight flashlight! Don't tell him!) and we turn around, and our cart is gone AGAIN! And we're like, WTF!?! And, I'm telling you, there's a fair amount of stuff in it now. So, we're standing there, all, you know, agog, and then I'm like, IT'S ON! And I say, loudly, "People! Who took our cart!?" and this employee was really nice and helped me look for it, although, when he asked me what was in it, all I could say was, "I don't know. Just a bunch of stuff." So we're walking around looking suspiciously in everyone's carts. Just after I gave up, I see our cart, not far from where we left it, although some of the stuff is gone. So, M. and I reclaim it, and then we see a little pile of the rest of the stuff, laying at the bottom of a shelf.

You know what happened? Someone must have stolen our cart, and then started dumping our stuff out on the ground, because they were too lazy to walk to the front of the store and get their own cart, and then when I started making a stink, they abandoned their evil deed. Do you know what kind of person would do that? Only a person with a black heart. Soulless, and completely depraved.

Got to see one of my BFs twice in the last week. We both gave each other Thanksgiving presents in the form of oranges - mine to her was a sugar bowl, and hers to me was handmade marzipan. We're soulmates.

Dziękuję!

I started running Google Analytics on my blogs to track my traffic, and much to my surprise, more than 3 people read my blog! On Monday, 19 people checked this blog, and, ok, so, on Wed. and Thursday, nobody did. This week I broke the international barrier, and people in India, Warsaw, and Stockholm and faraway Port Alberni, BC read my blogs! Thanks, everyone! Here's a map overlay of the readers of my book blog from this week:

Sleighbells ring

First big snow of the season and the neighborhood is suddenly all Currier and Ives! It's time's like this when I actually can see the bright side of unemployment, and staying inside.

Last night I had the privilege to witness my friend's baby walk! To me! She walked to me! It was amazing. I started crying, and J. got really excited and called her husband, who got sad because he was at work and missed it. See, another a situation where unemployment could have helped out.

Want some good karma for the weekend? Sign this petition to demand that pharmacies stock Plan B, an emergency contraceptive recently approved by the FDA for over-the-counter sales for women age 18 and older. Unfortunately, too many pharmacists have taken it upon themselves to deny women their legally entitled birth control, prescribed by their doctors. Stay on top of these issues, and make sure women's health is protected.

A Scoop Run

Growing up in Indiana, there weren't many divertisements for young honor roll students, so my friend A and I amused ourselves by driving to the local ice creamery, circling the place, honking and laughing all the while. This was a event singly humorous to ourselves. In this recreation, I take a certain, unwilling husband on a "scoop run" and discover that he is also was not amused.

Thank You for Smoking

Over the weekend we watched Thank You for Smoking - it was a good movie - so funny, smart... but mostly I was just overwhelmed by how totally hot Aaron Eckhart is. Holy moly, that guy is hot. The hair! The chin! Then Rob Lowe pops up (who is hilarious as the Hollywood product placement go-between, btw) and what happens but HE looks terribly hot too! I haven't thought Rob Lowe was hot since 1985 - St. Elmo's Fire. So, I've been playing an agonizing game of Who Would You Do with myself. I mean... well, who would you do?

Calorie Overextended Diet

I've been reading a bit about this Calorie Restricted (CR) Diet in which people eat about 1000 calories a day and actually live healthy lives that are supposedly 50% longer than the lives of the rest of us who eat, you know, sustaining diets of... food. A certain husband with a fear of death is turned on by the idea - I hate it. It seems to me like there's just a few calories difference between these CR people and anorexics. How come you can die of anorexia but live 50% longer of this other type of starvation?

Another thing that really gets me is this "research" involving one starved monkey and one that, uh, ate - and in their dotage, the starved monkey is apparently thriving, while the other one spends its day lazily playing euchre and falling asleep in an easy chair in front of the tv. Here's the picture from the NY Times article and the accompanying caption, "Canto, left, a rhesus monkey, is aging fairly well at 25 on a calorie restriction diet. Owen, though only a year older than Canto, is frail and moves slowly. He eats a normal diet."


Well, this Thanksgiving I've been feeling a little like Owen, indulging in what can only be described as a Calorie Overextended Diet (CO).

Leona Naess

Here are three beautiful songs by Leona Naess.

offensive people

M. and I saw an unprecedented two movies last weekend – Casino Royale and Borat. Borat was hysterical, and I was glad we saw it in the theatre - it's the sort of thing that's fun in a crowd. If you're avoiding it because you think it might be too harsh, don't – it's too funny – and while Borat has a way of bringing out the Michael Richards in people, Cohen makes Borat the most offensive character (if you don't know what I'm talking about, what a clip that is harsh: Borat singing Throw the Jew Down the Well, while hillbillies sing along.)

I've had a kind of crappy week – our power's been on and off, making internetting and job searching difficult – not to mention just puttering around the house. My landlord, otherwise known as The Most Despicable Person on Earth, actually yelled at me (ME!) when I complained. Today the power went off in the middle of my favorite new television show: Free Style. I'm really nuts about Free Style and Design Remix – two HGTV shows where they design a room using materials people already have in their houses. In Free Style, they don't spend any money, and in Design Remix, they might spend like 50 bucks on paint. Unlike other shows that have a “low” budget (like Trading Spaces $1000) they design really cool spaces and don't end up tricking them out with a thousand dollars worth of IKEA furniture. I don't know why people go on Trading Spaces – all they do is completely DESTROY rooms. Plus Paige is so goddamn annoying.

Casino Royale

The new Bond movie, Casino Royale, in a fascinating departure from previous Bond movies, is really great! The new Bond is Daniel Craig (according to imdb.com, he's slated to play Lord Asriel in the upcoming His Dark Materials - haven't read the books? Where have you been?). At first I thought he was a little too pasty and, you know, English to be a hot Bond, but the man has some sharp pecs. The opening sequence is really exciting – I'd say along the lines of X2, you know, the one where the lizard-guy runs around the White House and bursts into the Oval Office? That was so hot. Bond chases this guy who's like some kind of Olympian jumper who leap frogs all over a construction site. Later, Bond must win a multi-million dollar game of Texas Hold-em, neatly tying in with our national obsession. Although I found myself wondering, “Now, why must he win this multi-million dollar poker game?” Oh yes, for some reason. It mostly makes sense – not like so many other action movies where directors simply try to distract their audiences with flashy Matrix-style fight sequences. Casino Royale presents Bond at the beginning of his career as a double-oh, and even strives to present a little insight re: his attitude toward the ladies. It's Q-less and therefore less gadgety, but I think all those gadgets are kind of dopey anyway.

I think there was a missed opportunity to punch up the classic Bond theme song – I'm thinking something like what U2 did with the Mission Impossible ditty a few years ago. Also the asthmatic villain whose eye bleeds is kind of Boris - when he captured Bond I thought for sure he was going to throw him in a tank full of sharks with friggin' laser beams on their heads.

Hairy Potter

OMG! The trailer for Order of the Phoenix is out! That's one of my fave HP books. So, we see Harry about to kiss Cho (did they kiss in the book?) and his hair is really short. I liked it better shaggy. Man, I hope these poor kids don't end up all Dana Plato one day.