W00t PWN: Tron Legacy

Despite poor reviews, husband wanted to play the new Tron video game (PS3) because he's... a huge nerd. He said he doesn't really like it (although he keeps playing it???) and that it's mostly just "running and jumping" like "Prince of Persia only in a Tron universe."

It looks a lot like the movie and it's got some dumb bits with er, Kevin Flynn (aka "The Dude-erino") which looks about as realistic as the "young" Flynn in the movie. That was extremely creepy, in an unfortunate uncanny valley kind of way. The voice in the video game is not Jeff Bridges, and I doubt the audience will be fooled regardless of the frequent repetition of the word "man". I happen to think: If you can't get Jeff Bridges, just forget it (man).

Did you ever hear that rumor about how Jeff Bridges' junk was so big that Disney said he had to strap it down lest he offend? This remains unsubstantiated, mainly because Google searches for "Jeff Bridges Giant ___" are overwhelming. (Here you may imagine me spending a good 10 minutes contemplating whether I'm comfortable with my both my parents and current or potential future employers reading various words for male genitalia on my blog. I finally decide to be conservative on the issue.)

Anywho, as far as I can tell, you run around in your neon jumpsuit and occasionally slash at people with your special frisbee. There's some dreamy ambient music, which is fine, but I'm surprised there's not more of the cool Daft Punk score from the movie. It also seems like there'd be more riding of "light cycles" and "recognizers", although M says it's possible there's more of that later in the game.

I find the game Somewhat Tolerable, mostly because it's fairly quiet and inoffensive.

Precious things

I just got back from a visit to see my friend A and her new baby, P. Baby is lovely and I had a nice time snuggling with her and a few days of non-stop chatting and laughing with A in our natural habitat: the couch.

Have a look:
My own little one is posing quite nicely for her own photo sessions lately - isn't this great? It really seems to capture the essence of Kaya (Mainly, boredom and disdain.)

W00t PWN: Left 4 Dead 2

Husband is playing Left 4 Dead 2, "Swamp Fever" a game about 4 people fighting zombies in a hillbilly town. It is quite unpleasant because, aside from the constant rabid-dog snarling of the zombies, the entire game is punctuated by the sound of shot guns and characters shouting "reloading" for no apparent reason.

One plays "co-op" with three other people (which means, you play with 3 other real people and the computer plays the zombies. Some of the zombies explode acid and some seem to be inspired by that Edgar Allan Poe story, The Murders in the Rue Morgue?

When it comes to zombie lore, most people will agree that the zombie's head must be removed, which makes sense because like, the former human is dead, right? The vessel, as it were, is rotting flesh, presumably unreliant on a highly functioning central nervous system, which accounts for the grunting and the lurching walk, amirite? To merely shot them... so what? They're already dead. But, anyway, in Left 4 Dead 2, you just have to shot them a couple of times.

Have you ever noticed how in most zombie stories, blue collar folks are amongst the few remaining humans who must fight the zombies? Never, you know, former art history students. I suppose the blue collar folks are more likely to have guns or, better yet, sickles. I've spent a fair amount of time thinking about what I would do in case of a zombie attack. Option one is to board up my entire house windows and doors and cower inside with husband and cat. Option two is to steal a boat and wait it out in the middle of Lake Michigan (with husband and cat). Or else, I suppose, row up to Canada (surely impervious to zombie attack?). As far as I can tell, those aren't options in Left 4 Dead 2.

M rates this game "pretty fun" and then he shrugged, non-committally. I rate it Quite Unbearable.

W00t PWN: Kinect Adventures

Because I love my husband so very much and because I'm such a fine wife, I got M an Xbox and Kinect for Christmas (xmas=xbox, see?) He was thrilled, and I quite like it too. When you're playing the Kinect, it's like you're Tom Cruise in Minority Report because you don't have to hold a controller or anything, you just move around and it knows what you're doing (something to do with infared friggin' laser beams?)

Kinect comes with a disk called Kinect Adventures! which has like 4 or 5 little games you can play with a friend. The best one is probably River Rush, where you're standing in an innertube raft floating down some rapids and you have to move right and left and jump around. It's very easy but it's fun and not bad exercise. Another game is called 20,000 Leaks, in which you're standing in a small aquarium for some reason and fish are breaking it, and you have to "fix" the leaks by putting your hands or feet over them. It's sounds dumb, but it's fun.

The best part of Kinect Adventures! is that it takes a picture while you're doing this stuff and it's basically the funniest thing you'll ever see. Then you log on to their website and you can download the pics or send them to Facebook. I only wish they were higher quality images because I love them so much I want to make next years Christmas card out of one.

I would rate this game Good Times - it's great because you don't have to practice - you can just start playing - and you can play with a wide age group of people, and no one really wins or loses, which is nice. It's even fun(ny) if you're just sitting there on the couch watching other people play too.

Huck Finn

I wrote about the Huck Finn controversy over on my other blog: check it out!

Grannies

Here are a few more pics from our trip -

M's Gran, happy as a clam with a kitchen job:
These are my grannies. (Grandma J is wearing a sweater that would have been quite a contender in our contest last year!)

And here's a picture that just cracks me all - all the dudes thinking real hard over a game M got for xmas:

sledding

Oh, I meant to post this video with my last post - it's really short but cute!

Nephews

A few days after xmas, my sister and brother came to town with their little monsters and the fun really began. Exchanging presents was complete madness, with all of us lavishing attention on little people we love but don't get to see that often. M and I went slightly overboard and bought nephew #2 a four foot tractor complete with a scooping shovel, and he gratified us by going completely out of his mind, just like we figured he would. While C tried to calm the chaos down by shouting at my dad (aka, Santa), Slower! Slower! and then, in one hilarious outburst, PAUSE! Do you have to poo-poo? M had a different technique, "Don't stop,", he said, "Until everybody's cryin'."


We also went sledding on my parent's gentle slope. That was a good time.

Nephew #2 has the energy of about 3 kid's worth, but just look at that face...

Christmas Recap

M & I went to Indiana on Christmas Eve, where we went to a candle-light service at my parents church, then to my grandma's house, which is an old tradition. Grandma has a tiny little house, which doesn't stop her from inviting over everyone she knows. She rather ingeniously puts boards over her sink and stove piled with food and encourages us to eat heavily.

My cousin C's kid really appreciated our present - he's a sweet kid.

On Christmas Day, M's Mom and Gran came over, as well as my Grandma and Uncle D. We all had a lovely dinner with my mom and dad.


I just like this picture. Do you know my mom put up THREE Christmas trees?

Happy New Year!

On New Year's Eve we went out to dinner with friends and my sister and brother-in-law in Indianapolis, then we went to this hotel party and also spent the night there. The hotel party was a bit silly but still fun. They played all this bizarre 80s hair band music like Pour Some Sugar on Me and Welcome to the Jungle all night, while we were all in the mood for dancing to ... something good. Then this crazy girl tried to get in a fight with us like two minutes before midnight and it was rather alarming. Oh, Indiana!

L asked everyone to tell their favorite moments of 2010 - Cousin C's husband B has been recovering from cancer this year and broke our hearts when he said "any day I wasn't in the hospital". 2011 can only be better for them. (I love you guys!)

M & I had a good year. We both agreed our trip to France was the highlight of the year. (I love you, babe!)
It was great spending a lot of time with my sister over the holiday. My goal was to spend every minute glued to her side and we pretty much did. (I love you, Miss C-illa)
Truthfully, every minute I spend with this guy is my fave - it doesn't matter if we're in France or our back yard. <3

Merry Christmas!

Me and the girls

Inside is cozy

Look at this sweet little angel!

outside is frightful

It's snowy here and quite lovely. Here's a picture from the campus where I work. Not that I like, see it through a window or anything. But when I go to lunch, there it is.

One day I was walking on campus and saw
a bunch of people looking up into a tree.
There was a hawk up there.

EATING A SQUIRREL!

W00t Pawn: Call of Duty Black Ops

Husband is now playing Call of Duty, Black Ops. M has already played some other Call of Duty game and, to tell the truth, I can't tell the difference. You play this army guy and he goes to some place like a snowy land which even I can tell is the same landscape and house from the other version only snowy, or Havana, which, I'll admit, looks kind of nice, if you take out all the army guys and the flaming buses and whatnot. Frequently I wish I could have a nice character, say, a lovely lady on a bicycle with a baguette or a dog in a basket, and ride around some of these locations without all the shooting and nonsense.
In this Black Ops, as far as I can tell, M gets killed approximately every 30 seconds, but apparently (he explains) that is not unusual. He said there's a "kill to death ratio" and 1-1 is "not bad" and 2-1 is "very good." Frankly, I find it rather disturbing in these games where you get killed and then get "spawned" right away again. Should there not be lasting consequences? I think it would be better if you get killed, then, you just have to sit out the rest of the game, contemplating the futility of war.

You can play "co-operative" against zombies, but M didn't like that mode. He prefers playing with and against for-realsie people (this is called "multi-player.") Between games you can hear the teenagers talking to each other, only, unlike Blur, you can actually make out what they're saying. I could listen to those damn kids all day.

M was quite excited about this featured called "Theatre" where you can re-watch (can you imagine?!?) the fight and therefore improve your technique, sort of like how on Friday Night Lights? They re-watch the football games. We watched a tiny bit of the theatre and discovered that M's character looks a lot like Saddam Hussein. He didn't know what he looks like because it's a "first person shooter." (Do you see how I know all this lingo?!?!)

M informs me that he'll continue playing this games for weeks if not months and that it's "a compelling experience." I rate this game Largely Unbearable.

Christmas music

Blogger friend and cousin-by-marriage KHM posted this lovely little Christmas meme on her blog - here are my answers - hope you play too!

1. All-time favorite traditional and serious Christmas song?
I am quite fond of O Holy Night, like KHM. I think I might like that one for listening, but I can't sing it so well (anymore). To sing myself, I have to go with What Child Is This?

2. That one song that says, unequivocally, that the holidays have arrived?


3. Favorite Contemporary Carol and/or favorite contemporary cover of a traditional holiday tune?
I am quite fond of that Barenaked Ladies God Rest Ye Marry Gentlemen, and I love Tracy Chapman's O Holy Night, but I honestly think I'd pick Mariah Carey's Hark the Herald Angels Sing. Damn it, that crazy lady can sing!

4. Carol that most reminds you of your holidays as a younger person?I don't actually like this song because I think it's really boring, but Silent Night reminds me of sitting around the church basement what felt like at least three times a week while my mom (and later I) went to choir practice at Christmas time.


5. Favorite version of "Baby, it's Cold Outside"
That song kind of creeps me out because I recently decided it's about date rape and now I feel all oogy when I hear it. It's like one lyric away from Rohypnol, I'm telling you. However, I did hear a version on Glee with Kurt and his guy that I rather enjoyed. A wink is required on the part of the soprano to make it less creepy.

6. Finally, Your all time favorite disc--aka, if you could have only one holiday music disc, what would it be?
Oh my! So many good ones... Honestly, that Mariah Carey christmas album is VERY good. Also, every home should have a copy of the Vince Guaraldi Charlie Brown Christmas. But... my choice is the John Denver/Muppets A Christmas Together CD. Just great!

W00t Pwn: Blur

Husband played Blur for about two weeks. It's a racing game where you either play the game or you can play other for-realsie people online. Or, you can play with your wife, which, a few times, we actually did! I've tried to play racing games before and they're usually really hard to drive and you spend the whole time just trying to turn the damn car around after you drive into the wall or whatever. But, Blur cars were actually pretty easy to steer and when we played I could even finish the race and one time I even came in next-to-last! (W00t!)

One of the lamest things about Blur is that if you play it online, all these dummies have headsets and you can hear their garbled talking and it's really annoying. M had to turn them off one-by-one and it's like, What are they saying? I felt the need to examine their secret, sub-culture language, but all I could make out was the occasional "Dude".

You get to choose your own car although some of the options are really stoopid like a Ford Focus? It would be really cool if you could choose a Hello Kitty car or something like that.

So, there's like these special powers that you drive over and then you can do various things like get a speed boost or shoot missiles or make like a protective shield around your car and stuff. Also, you kind of need to look in your rear-view in case someone's shooting a missile at you, but I think it's really hard to look at anything except my own vehicle as it hurtles down the "San Francisco" loop. Husband is good at looking at that stuff though. I found this game Not Unbearable, although the downsides are the lame chatter from other gamers and the tracks are really repetitive. M says it was "slightly addictive and slightly bland, which is a little bit of a conundrum. Ultimately forgettable."

And that's my first video game review! I expect to be highlighted on Slashdot soon.

I announce a new feature!

Gentle Readers, it is with great pleasure that I announce a new blog feature: Reviews of Moi's Husband's Video Games.* Husband was greatly encouraged to write his own reviews, which I think are brilliant, but after 2 years and less than a dozen entries, I think we can safely assume he's not invested in the project. And yet! There seems to be a general cry: What video games is M playing and how does K feel about them? Does she, for example, think they're sexist or silly? Very often: YES!

Last night we watched The Road, despite my protestations that I wanted nothing to do with that bullshit book (you see, I don't blindly admire any old book that happens to win the Pulitzer Prize). Warnings that it would not have a happy ending and was mostly about "feelings" and "emotions" were ignored - he insisted on watching it because supposedly it inspired Fall Out 3. Or something. Ultimately, he was unable to draw a connection between Fall Out 3 and The Road. However there did seem to be an amazing correlation between our boredom and The Road.

Coming soon: I review BLUR!


*need to think of a better title...

couldn't you just die?

crrrrrrrrafts

I am in deep with crrrrrrfts right now - here's something I made over the weekend with a little help from my mom - we had so much fun sewing together in my sewing/guest room. This one was a family project with help from M as well, who made the template for the numbers. I ironed those on using that iron-on adhesive stuff.

I'd seen a lot of designs for advent calendars but, frankly, I like mine the best. The pockets are 4" high and 20" wide, then I just sewed up between the numbers to make the pockets and sewed on the ribbon and felt flaps. Mom had the idea to put on tassels and I think they look great.

Thanksgiving weekend

Well, for Thanksgiving I made a goose, mostly because I was inspired by Two Fat Ladies who made one ages ago. None of our party had ever had one before, and we were all quite delighted with the way it turned out.

The other exciting thing I made was a liver paté, which was disgusting to make (boiled livers!) but the results were also delicious (and quite cost effective, I might add)! Here's my plate, pre-brussels sprouts, I notice, and pre-goose gravy, which G handily whipped up. She's the sort of person you can ask to make the gravy and she says, "Gravy! No problem!"


And here's that goose:

And here's G & G:

We went downtown to do a tiny bit of shopping (although I think I just bought things for myself! Whoops!) Macy's windows are pretty boring this year - Yes, Virginia, which I think is merely a desperate plea to validate the newspaper industry. And we had lunch at the Italian Village, one of my favorite restaurants downtown, where my mom made the shocking disclosure that they had the "best lasagna [she'd] ever had".

Thanksgiving 2010 Menu

Cheese plate with fig jam
Paté*
M's Agreeable Pickles
K's Disagreeable Pickles

Roast Goose
Sage Stuffing
Mashed Potatoes
Indiana Sweet Corn
Brussels Sprouts with Roasted Chestnuts
Broccoli au Gratin
Bread Rolls

G's Petit Gooseberry Pies
P's Pumpkin Pie

And, a lot of wine.

* I made it myself! It was unpleasant...

this one's for KHM

KHM's looking for a pick-me-up - this is the best thing I can think of, my favorite beverage of late...

American in Paris
1 1/2 ounces bourbon
1/2 ounce creme de cassis
1/2 ounce dry vermouth
1/2 teaspoon fresh lemon juice
Shake with ice, serve up in a martini glass.

via

joining the fray

I thought I'd go ahead and way in on the TSA "body scanners" (or, "nudity machines", as I like to call them) since everyone else is. Two flights ago, I "opted out" of the body scanner because I didn't want the radiation, and so I got the "pat down" which, yes, is rather intimate. There's all this "now I'm using the front of my hand/now I'm using the back of my hand" nonsense, which doesn't really matter when someone's hand is all up in your business. Then, after they're done, they wipe their gloves with some kind of explosive-detecting wipe, and I came up positive (insert joke). So, they had to give me another pat down. Positive again. Then what? Then nothing, that's what. So, if you ask me, the whole thing's B.S. Meanwhile, guess what? They're all, "The amount of radiation you get in the machine is equal to what you get in the plane in one minute." But, of course, I don't believe them. So, I ask my friend, who's an honest-to-God rocket scientist. And, she says: Ah, that's probably correct. So, that why I just get in the nudity machine now.

Anywho, I ask the people, who's looking at all our naked pictures? And they're like, some guy, in a room all by himself. Oh, sure, I says. I mean. Seriously. No one believes that.

I'm not kidding you

Had a lovely little weekend with my husband ... We saw Harry potter, which I thought was great. Really exciting and moody - thanks to my terrible memory I was like omg! What's going to happen?????? Also totes gorg shots of England ... Reminded me of when I went to England myself and drove around the countryside.

Also bought some shoes... I'm not kidding you... These shoes.... These shoes are going to make you cry when you see them on my feet. One pair is sandals, which is mildly outrageous considering where I live and it's the eve of winter but they wre too perfect and we will most likely go on that all-too-important visit to a warm weather location sometime in February in order to actually a make it through the aforementioned winter.

I'm working on a lot of crrrrafts right now and finally managed to finish one today- a scrapbook of my trip to Bangladesh. That only took... 17 years!

Hope you have a fab thanksgiving. We're cooking up a ridik menu at casa Roark. Oh my. More later.

Glee (Spoilers) (from last week)

So, you know last week on Glee (yeah, I write about shows that are a week old because I'm on top of stuff)? I totally loved that song Teenage Dream by the local hoity-toity-zero-tolerance-policy-all-boys-school. The original is catchy too, I didn't know that song... BUT, the whole bit with Coach Beiste was so gaggy. First, it's like, Schuester finds out the kids are imagining her as a cold-shower replacement when they're too excited. Then he's all SHE MUST NEVER KNOW ABOUT THIS and then he's all THE KIDS ARE TOTALLY IMAGINING YOU WHEN THEY'RE FOOLING AROUND BECAUSE THEY THINK YOU'RE DISGUSTING. So, A.) I find it very unlikely that a grown woman, who works in a school, would give two shits about whether a bunch of teenagers find her attractive and B.) I was all, Don't you kiss her Will Schuester, even though she just told you she's never been kissed, DON'T YOU DO IT, YOU SONNUFABITCH! And then he kisses her, and I was like... God, I hate that guy. And C.) all the boys sing a "we're sorry" song and she's like, aww, that's nice, kind of????????? No.

Sometimes I think that show is really smart, but sometimes it's really idiotic. I want to mock Schuester and his stupid hair like I'm Sue Silvester. Basically I just want them to sing one song after another and lay off the preachy stuff (although I'm interested to see where they go with the bullying angle, but I don't have that much faith that they will NOT screw it up). I do not have high hopes for Gweneth Paltrow episode. BTW, why is Gweneth suddenly a (country western?) singer? We have not forgotten Duets, Gweneth. No, we have not.

Item! Music and fashion

Item! When we were in France, I was hot on the lookout for trends because I am, as you know, a total trendster. Alas, no glaring French trends jumped out at me beside fancy tights which I already knew about and, you know, all-black outfits, the de rigor uniform of the city girl. Do you want to hear something AWESOME???? One day, we were in the Pompidou, and this girl took a picture of my legs (because I had on super-cool tights and an all-black outfit, natch). I didn't see it but M told me and then I got REALLY EXCITED!

We went to a Virgin Megastore (I thought those were totally extinct!) - we used to love going to the VM in SF because they had all those listening stations. Anyway, I found this CD by The Constant, I Blame Coco, which I really love. Update: my fave song is probably SelfMachine - here's a link to the video and info on this Coco. Hint: it's not Conan O'Brien.

Then I saw this video once in a bar (Plan B, She Said). But, I can't seem to buy the song on iTunes. SUCK!


This song (Camelia Jordana, Calamity Jane) is really sweet, I love that little melody. Her voice kind of reminds me of Gillian Welch.
I also heard a few song by this band called Coeur De Pirate, but I can't decide if I like them or not.

Oh, snap! Did you see that boys-school Teenage Dream song on Glee? O.M.G.

My other hot French tip is ham and cheese sandwiches on baguette with butter. You heard it here! (:

it went like this

Me: Hey Sweetheart, did you know Uncle M was a Frenchman for Halloween?
Adorable Nephew: WHAT? Uncle M was a FIRE ENGINE?!
Me: Ha ha ha!
Adorable Nephew: Why are you laughing?
Me: Because that's so funny! Uncle M was a French man. A man from France! Not a fire engine. Ha ha ha!
Adorable Nephew: HA HA HA!
ME: HAHAHA!
Adorable Nephew: HAHAHAHA!
Sister: That's enough, you two.

evil cupcakes

I've been wanting to make be-flagged cupcakes for ages now, and finally did it! Fun! Gee, these are really nice.