Pesto

We had two big bushes of basil in the garden and used it liberally all summer in our bruschetta and other meals, but there's PLENTY left over for lots of pesto.

I think pesto comes down to personal taste, I like mine fairly course with lots of olive oil, but you might like yours smooth with less pine nuts or what have you. Anywho, the key is, first grind the pine nuts, then toss in the basil leaves and absolutely smother in olive oil, then toss it in little containers and put the whole mess in the freezer and be smug all winter. Note: don't include Parmesan at this stage (because it doesn't freeze well), but do put some in when you thaw it out.




I like to put it on crostini!

Freezer Pickles

M's Gran gave us her recipe for Freezer Pickles several years ago after observing us gobble them down on many occasions. They're sweet pickles (not quite like Bread and Butter) and I LOVE putting a pile of them (or an extravagant bowlful) out at parties.

They're very easy to make, except for this one bit where you put the pickles in a big pot and pour bowling water over them for three days. That's kind of a pain, and we're giving some thought to NOT doing that bit next year (what's the worst that could happen???) Other than that, it honestly doesn't take that long and they're soooooooo good.

Wash about 6 cucumbers, 6-8 inches long and put them in a big pan. Boil water and pour over cucumbers, next day, drain and repeat Xs three.

4th day, rinse and thinly slice. Mix the following and bring to a boil:

1 1/2 C Cider Vineger
2 1/2 C Water
6 C Sugar
1 T Salt
1 T Pickling Spice

Add cucumber spices and bring to a full rolling boil for 20-25 mins. Let stand and cool and then pack in containers. Put in fridge, then freezer when cold.



I made this label for the pickles - *I* think it's really cute...

This week! More adventures in Food Stuffs

This week: Adventures in Food Stuffs - stay tuned for "Freezer Pickles", Pesto, and Canned Tomatoes!

Neighbor's Cats: A Movie

I made another movie based on real, actual, events of the R. Family. So, we got a new neighbor, and she has cats, and they like to spy on us. So, one day, I thought I would play a practical joke and when they were in the window, I put Kaya in her window seat, but it kind of backfired on me...

more vegas

Here are a few pics from our Vegas trip that I nabbed off my sister's blog:Here's the whole gang... there's my long-time friend L on the right, one of my many friends who procreated this summer. Three month old baby and she's the hottest mamma in town!
And here we sample deep-fried twinkies and oreos before heading to the airport the last day. A perhaps misguided choice. I'm "pretending" to have a heart attack. They were at once delicious and inedible.

Here's the website for the Golden Nugget pool, I don't seem to have a good shot of the pool (with sharks!).

New hat

I got a new hat.
I'm ready for fall. And a spy caper.

Day Two in Vegas

The second day in Vegas we spent the morning/early afternoon at the pool, where C and L reserved a nice cabana to shelter us from the (did I mention this?) ONE HUNDRED AND NINE DEGREE weather. A Las Vegan came by to tell us they were actually having a "cool down" and it was normally one hundred and nineteen degrees at that time of year. It seems to me that you would just burst into flames at a certain point...

My sister, M & I had appointments at the spa in the afternoon, which was lovely, and then we went to their vow renewal ceremony, which was unexpectedly emotional and lovely. Not a dry eye in the house. That night we went to dinner and a couple (a couple three, as my dad would say) bars.

Experiencing the "Fremont Street Experience"

newly re-married

Vegas, Baby

Over the weekend, we went to Vegas to celebrate my sister and brother-in-law's remarriage (to each other). It was a great time and a fun party. We all stayed at the Golden Nugget in "old" Vegas, where I'd never been before. The hotel was pretty sweet, and, I must tell you, that there were friggin' sharks in a tank in the middle of the pool. So, like, when you're swimming, there are friggin' sharks swimming next to you. Also, there's a clear slide that goes through the middle of the (friggin') shark tank. So.

The first night we went to the Fireside Lounge at the Peppermill. Although it was ONE HUNDRED AND NINE DEGREES in Vegas, the Fireside Lounge was chilled to no more than 47 degrees. Despite the cold, we enjoyed some tropical drinks.That drink was huge, C's straw is actually 2 feet long!

M & K huddle for warmth.

Come back tomorrow for Day Two in Vegas!

Freezer corn

When we were in Indiana last weekend we stopped at our favorite vegetable stand and bought (a mere) two dozen ears. They had a "Freezer Corn Special" for $3-something a dozen if you got 10 dozen, but that's a lot (even for us!)

M's granny gave us her recipe, which I'll recap here. (I posted about this in the bygone days of aught-eight, and just had another laugh at my dad's comment!)

• Slice the kernels off 16-24 ears.
• Melt one stick of butter in a heavy saucepan.
• Mix in corn with approx. 1 cup water.
• Cook for approx. 20 minutes.

The trick to slicing the kernels off the ear is to put a small bowl upside down in a large bowl. Put the ear on the up-turned bowl and slice down with your knife.

Then, hold your knife perpendicular to the corn and drag it down the ear. This is called "milking" the corn.
It's really easy to make and ten-thousand times better than (dare I say it?) canned corn. I can't wait to eat it at Thanksgiving! In fact, we couldn't wait to even get it in the freezer, we had corn for dinner that night!

Panzanella

One of our favorite summer dishes is the Italian treat, panzanella. We first had it at my fave Chicago restaurant, Ante Prima. In our little family, we have bruscetta one day, and panzanella the next, with the leftover bread from the day before. Sometimes we buy lots of bread to make sure we'll have left-overs! You can put just about anything in it, but I like:

• Stale baguette, cubed
• fresh tomatoes
• cubed cucumbers
• thinly sliced red onion
• Balsamic vineger and olive oil vinaigrette

Throw the whole lot into a bowl and toss. Eat immediately. You won't want to wait, anyway!

Bruschetta

Bruschetta is a frequent summer favorite on our family table. Everyone has their own method of making it, but M & I do ours like this:
Start with a good baguette (I get mine at Bennison's Bakery), slice diagonally and brush with olive oil, then turn them all upside down on the pan and pour olive oil over the other side. Toast in the oven for about 5 minutes on each side.

Meanwhile, chop up your tomato nice and small, as well as basil. (That's the fun part for us because it all comes out of the garden.) Liberally salt (kosher salt is best, I think.)

When the toasts are done, rub with a garlic clove, then spoon on the tomatoes.

more tomatoes

Another favorite summer recipe is this one, which I'm pretty sure I saw on the food channel but can't seem to find a source. It's really simple and a really nice, light dish and a great way to use your fresh tomatoes.

So, you cook pasta, I prefer gemelli or some twisty pasta. In the last minute or so, throw some chopped broccoli into the pasta water and then drain when it's al dente. Meanwhile, in a big bowl, dump a thingy of ricotta and mix with 1/2 cup of pasta water. Whisk. Zest some lemon in there. Something amazing happens with the ricotta and water and it makes a nice creamy sauce for your pasta. Mix in the pasta and broccoli and top with cherry tomatoes. You won't BELIEVE how good it tastes. Oh, you can grate parm on top too.

what to do with tomatoes

I made a lovely little appetizer with our cherry tomatoes, basil and fresh mozzarella - it was as delicious as it was lovely to look at.

know-it-alls

This weekend M & I went to Indiana to visit family and go to M's HS reunion. The reunion was fun and I got to meet some of his old HS pals. Not surprisingly, all of them have like 3.2 kids and we were treated to many a speech about how having kids "changes you, man" and "it just changes everything, forever." Oh, really? Being fully responsible for a helpless human being's emotional and physical well-being has an impact on your life? I hope so! I find it amusing albeit slightly tiresome when a new or old parent decides to drop some knowledge on me about how "you just can't believe how much it changes you."

In non-parenting news, but tiresomely self-congratulatory, I bring you Garden Fresh Week, where I'll drop some knowledge of my own, mainly what we're doing with our absolutely fabulous tomato haul. So, stay tuned for some easy and fabulous recipes!

Here's me and M, either going to his reunion or off to a yacht party - you decide!

and here's Adorable Nephew the Second watering the flowers with an obscure reference to a de Chirico painting in the background.

Magnets: How do they work?

By now, you've probably seen both of these, but I am not above posting internet stuff that's weeks old on the off chance my faithful reader might have missed it.

My Birthday Month

Last week I celebrated my birthday - M took me to Everest, where we had a trés fancy meal and an excellent time. It's an elegant restaurant on the 40th floor of the Chicago Stock Exchange building. We had a table right by the window and one of the best meals of my whole life. They treated us like the queen and king of England.

We spent a long weekend at my friend G's family lake house in northern Indiana - always a lovely time. Spent most of the time lounging in the water or the sun while a certain husband occasionally delivered another cocktail. What a life! Friends threw little party for me and I got some very nice presents. Highlights include: G's mom warning us that she had something in a box that was "not alive and didn't smell", pregnant C in a bikini (I love a pregnant lady in a bikini!), somehow not noticing a roomful of decorations for several minutes, a midnight swim with J, walking around under a full moon, and watching an incredible storm on the porch.

Alas, only a few more days to continue celebrating my birthday month, but it has been an exceptionally great month so far.

I write like...

On I Write Like you copy in some text and it tells you who you write like. I copied and pasted some of my blog: George Orwell. Some more blog: David Foster Wallace. An email: Stephen King.

Oh, great, a bunch of dudes! Straightforward writers, not especially elegant, with the exception of Foster Wallace, who writes like a fright train and I find largely unbearable.

It's silly but fun and also infuriating. (I just did it again: Dan Brown. Again: HP Lovecraft. Whhhaaaaat?)

Hotels

I'm at a conference right now, which means staying in a hotel all by my lonesome. Generally, I like to cleave to a certain husband at all possible moments, but do manage to enjoy barricading self in a hotel room and ordering room service and watching television all night. One of my favorite things to do in hotels, besides extreme sloth, is get a bucket of ice from down the hall and drink glass after glass of ice water. Is that weird?

My presentation today went really well. We had such great feedback it almost made me blush.

I picked up Girl that Plays with Fire in the airport and might finish it before I get home. I previously said I wouldn't read more in that series, but my colorist and A. told me this one was all about Lisbeth and I wanted to learn more about that character. That's a couple of solid recos I couldn't turn down. And now I can barely put the book down either. That guy sure could write a page-turner. My hairdresser has delicious taste in books. I was happy to share Lonely Werewolf Girl with her, and when I wore my Twilight tshirt into the salon she walked me around to show everyone.

Oracles

Last weekend we went out to my friend A's family farm in rural IL. Always a lovely time - mostly sitting around on the porch and chatting - very relaxing. We watched the World Cup on Sun., I think the first time several people, including me, had watched a soccer game all the way through. Very interesting. I don't understand why The Netherlands didn't try to score a point at the end when half of the Spanish team literally laid down on the pitch and sobbed. I had read about that Octopus in Germany who'd predicted the winners of the WC, so I blindly believed that Spain would win because the octopus said so, and they did. So.

Do you know what else I blindly believed? A st/ring test. A is preg. and to have a whatchacallit the next day to find out whether the baby was a girl or a boy? So, we did that thing where you tie a string around your wedding ring and dangle it over The Belly. Eventually the ring will either swing round in a circle or back and forth. Anyway: It. Worked. I did it, then she did it, and we both got the same thing, then, I mean, you hardly need to even GO to the doctor for confirmation after results like that, but she DID, and, it was RIGHT. So.

it's more fun with matching shirts

Here are the tshirts I made for the movie!
(My preggo friend's shirt says "No Imprinting", which makes sense if you've read the books and the other says "Team Cedric"). We got a couple of thumbs up from other movie-goers, which totally made my day. My review is in the previous post.

Eclipse

After an impossibly long build-up, I saw Eclipse last night with 3 girlfriends - we spend the obligatory amount of time in the adjacent bar to properly compare (those of us who weren't pregnant, that is). My reaction to the movie: a heavily biased, slightly tipsy It was fun! The audience was really into it and we all had a lot of laughs.

Which is not to say that the movie incredibly sexist and slightly ridiculous (my friend who hadn't read the books or seen the previous movies kept leaning over to ask questions like, "Now, do any of these other people know they are all werewolves and vampires?") What was interesting is that in this movie/book, Bella wants to be turned into a vampire so she can live for eternity with her bf, and he's not so excited about that because he thinks her soul will be destroyed. So, he says he'll make her a vampire, but only if they get married. Because he's old-fashioned like that. Also, he doesn't want to have sex until they get married. Bella says, in a remarkable moment of clarity, "Getting married, at my age, means you just got knocked up." Bella's like, How about we have sex now, when I'm a human?* Anywho, I love that they acknowledge that girls wanna have sex just as much as dudes do. Edward claims, aside from not wanting to have sex outside of marriage, that it's too dangerous. "Why's it dangerous?" my friend whispers. "Because he's afraid he'll lose control and bone her to death," I whisper back. We howl.

What's gross and skeevy is that Edward displays classic abusive relationship attitudes by stalking his own girlfriend, restricting her movements by messing up her car and bossing her around and telling her what to do all the time. Ick. I mean, beyond ick. Also, as per the books, Bella's always being picked up and carried all over the place. You know, it's all well and good if some dashing young man finds a woman ill or injured on the moor and carries her to safety in a Jane Austen novel in the FRIGGING 19TH CENTURY, but it is decidedly NOT COOL to carry a capable young woman around like a two-year-old in this day and age.

The funny thing about Robert Pattinson is he's the first one to claim he's not a good actor. Kristen Stewart is a quite GOOD actor. Even though both are quite open about what complete bores their characters are, Stewart, at least, puts in a very believable performance. I honestly think she has the skill of a young Hepburn or Monroe - she can hold a close-up so well - it's the eyes, I think. Taylor Lautner, who plays the werewolf, and seems to have a contractual obligation not to wear a shirt more than 10% of the movie, looks like he ought to be on the set of Glee. I fully expect to see him there soon. That boy is so pretty and clean-cut. But, I really had to wonder what poor Anna Kendrick (btw, check out this gorg dress she wore to the opening) thinks about this whole thing - surely she's like, "I was nominated for an OSCAR! I'm TOO GOOD FOR THIS SHIT!"

Really excellent soundtrack including a gorgeous song by Florence + The Machine called Heavy in Your Arms. Finding that song was kind of worth the price of admission for me.

If you're a fan, I suspect you've already seen the movie, if you're not, there's absolutely no reason you should go, naturally. Who else saw it? What did you think?

*Apparently Bella has some angst that vampire sex won't be that great. My friend G said there's mild controversy about how a vampire gets an erection because they don't have any blood. Something to do with "magical semen" which is what her t-shirt is going to say next year.

fore-arm warmers

Sometimes when I'm sitting around with cold calves and cold forearms, I reach for my legwarmers, but what about my arms? How can I keep my forearms warm and my hands free, while simultaneously keeping my options open vis-a-vis vampires and werewolves? Oh, that's right - forearm warmers!

I know you guys are probably pretty sad this two-week-extravaganza of Twilight nonsense is drawing to a close. Don't worry, I'm pretty sure we can repeat the whole thing at least once when the final movie(s) come out. And, I'll bring you my review (and my own crrrrrafts) over the weekend. Thanks for indulging me and reading!

Best one yet?

OMG, I guess there's this scene in Eclipse where Edward and Bella and Jacob go camping for some reason? And Bella and Jacob are in a sleeping bag together? I seriously didn't read it, but, uh, my friend told me about it.

And, I don't know what happens, but you can act it out with these dolls! (For $95!)* Personally, I think they're freakball awesome.


*Includes sleeping bag, so it seems like a pretty good deal.

tattoo

tattoo

Don't look back got a new direction

I loved you once needed protection

You're still a part of everything I do

You're on my heart just like a tattoo



Just like a (temporary) tattoo

I'll always have you

I'll always have you

I'll have you for about a day and a half.

You've got questions

If you're just joining us, I've been covering the goofiest Twilight stuff I can find on the internets until the movie opens this week and I go see it myself. See how that works? Ironic-involvement. I poke fun/I jump on bandwagon. It's complicated. I am not proud of myself.

This is perhaps the best page of Yahoo Answers I've ever seen. Question: What kind of food to serve at a teen TWILIGHT party, cheaply?

My fave line? Indeed.

The 10 most baffling "Twilight" products

Salon has posted the The 10 most baffling "Twilight" products and I must admit, they are quite baffling. I feel at once proud that I beat Salon to the game, and also a little pissed that they steal my thunder with an "Edward Loves Cougars" t-shirt that I fully intended to blog about later this week. Otherwise we had no cross-overs, although I was aware of this item and sort of wavering about whether or not to post it for parent-related reasons. (Mom and Dad, do not click on that link, seriously.)

How did I miss this?

I'll be your what now?

This disturbs me to no end. I can only assume that the person who might dress a child in this means to imply that the child will grow up and "Be your Edward", although, assuming the child is their own, they don't mean a sensual relationship, or, based on the books, even a jealous, stalking, brooding one. Either way, it's pretty weird.

Alternately, they could mean that the child as a baby will "Be your Edward", thereby essentially being what the adult, presumably the mother, is all-consumed by, which is also pretty creepy. Naturally all of this is a sentiment forced upon a unwitting child and may or may not have anything to do with vampires.

Ah, people do weird shit with their kids, all I can do is sit back and poke fun at them.

A question has arisen in comments: "So, you're going to see Eclipse, right? It's like a love/hate relationship?" It's mostly a hate/hate relationship, but for some reason, I can't tear myself away, hence two weeks of solid blogging about Twilight crafts and merchandising. Oh, I'll BE there, alright! With my own craft-tastic spin-offs! Stay tuned!

Twilight Amigurumi

I hate to poke fun at somebody's amigurumi, but will ya get a load of these guys? I think questionable choices were made in terms of Amigurumi Edward's white yarn body and his yellow eyes, but, if you ask me, his hair is not tousled enough! Jacob, of course, is shirtless, which is appropriate. No abs, I notice... The artist is not a Twilight fan and makes dolls based on lots of different movies, comics and pop culture - read more at Deadcraft.com. OMG, look at her Princess Leia!

Team this and that

The most common type of Twilight merchandizing seems to be of the "Team Edward" or "Team Jacob" variety. These things are especially moronic because, if you've read the books, which I mostly have, you'll know that it's not really a contest between the two dudes, Edward "completes" Bella, as much as one soulless character can complete another soulless character. To reference a movie no Twi-hard is likely to have ever seen, it's like in Pretty in Pink where Duckie would clearly make the better boyfriend because he totally gets Andie and like, worships her, but, that dummy just goes for the spoiled rich guy who's all concerned about appearances and whatnot.

I've never actually SEEN any Twilight "Team" merchandise being worn in the wild but there's a HUGE amount of it online. Here's only one example which throws in a "Team Bella" just for good measure.



To me, even "Team Jolie" v. "Team Aniston" makes more sense than these Twilight teams, because, I guess you could be like, "Theoretically, I'm 'team Jolie' because you love who you love etc." or "Theoretically, I'm 'team Aniston' because it's just not cool to start dating someone's husband even if you supposedly DO have some insane animal attraction to them or whatever." But, say you're watching Pretty in Pink, and, while you're watching it, you're like, "I'm 'team' Duckie" but, by the time it's over, you're like, Oh, she goes with the rich guy, oh well, I'm going to go make a t-shirt that says "Team Duckie" or go on with my life?

There's also a huge amount of "Team Switzerland" nonsense, which is perhaps an extremely simplified view of foreign policy combined with the concept that someone chooses not to commit to either fiction character Edward or fiction character Jacob but rather to leave their options open, for example, if either fictional character were to somehow become animated and fall for the person in question. The person wearing a "Team Switzerland" button, for example.


PS. It turns out there is some "Team Duckie" shit out there.

Bella's Engagement RingTM

One of the oddest things about the Twilight novels is that Bella wants, more than anything, for Edward to change her into a vampire because she wants to be with him forever, like, literally. And, she gets really depressed on her birthday because he was made a vampire when he was 17 or something, and when she turns 17, she's like, OMG, I'm getting old, I can't stand for my bf to see me all old and disgusting and like, 20 years old. Gag.

So, anyway, he's like, Alright, I'll make you a vampire, but first we have to get married. And then she's like, Ewww. I don't really want to get married. It's so permanent. But he for realsies doesn't want to have sex until they get married, so eventually (spoiler) they get married.

And, naturally, he gives her an engagement ring, and don't you know that YOU can also buy Bella's Engagement RingTM and:

Experience your romance with Edward Cullen in a whole new way when you slip on Bella's Engagement RingTM! You'll love showing off the radiant stones in this elegant, domed-oval, gold ring. In true Victorian-era design, your ring is created by master artisans with an open-work gallery and a finely polished edge that surrounds the brilliant faceted stones. How exciting for you to own the only, Original, Bella's Engagement RingTM in the world! We are pleased to offer this beautiful ring in three versions to suit your style and pocketbook: Fashion, Fine, and Genuine. The three versions have the same stunning appearance; they are just made of different materials. Additionally, we are happy to present this classic ring in two colors, yellow or white gold. The ring that Edward gave to Bella is described as gold, so if you want your ring to be exactly like Bella's, order Yellow Gold; or if you prefer the silver or white-gold look, order White Gold.

Fashion Ring: Price $59.00/Sale Price $35.00

You heard it right, that's a gold-plated ring with 13 "fine Russian CZs" that is somehow also the only, original, Bella's Enagement RingTM in the world. It is widely agreed that this is one of the ugliest rings ever made in human history. Common lore has it that Stephanie Meyer designed it herself, and you know she's got great taste. Congratulations!

silliest cross-stitch project, ever

This is self-proclaimed as the "silliest cross-stitch project, ever" by its maker, who made it to mortify a friend. I have a fondness for smart-ass cross stitch, so I want to make it clear that I'm laughing with this crrrrafter, not at her. There are some funny comments on her blog post about alternate quotes.



And here's another Twilight item of which I fully approve:

These books are really dumb, as I've said many times, but I don't really give a shit if it means a couple of kids (or adults) read a book when they normally wouldn't. It's for sale at the ALA for $16.

This one doesn't even make sense

Why?

I don't get this one, especially the fish. It sort of reminds me of Twilight fan fiction which I have only, ehem, heard about, mind you. Where like, people, mostly teenagers, as far I can tell, from what I have heard, of course, write long, involved stories about Edward and Bella in alternate universes where Edward's not even a vampire but he's like, a merman or something. I certainly, you know, don't know that much about it! The very idea is ridiculous. It's not like I've spent hours reading it or anything. I mean, I've just HEARD about this stuff! STOP STARING AT ME!

My Little Vampire

The continuation of Twilight merchandising will continue until the movie opens next week (or you all beg me to stop because you can't take it anymore!)

But, I think you can take it. I mean, I posted about a LIFE-SIZE Edward silhouette and nobody said boo. Uhm, hello? Now I bring you: Ponys + Edward Cullen = HappyfuntimeexcitementSQEE!

I like watching you sleep

One of the most amusing Twilight merchandising items I've ever seen is this life-size, vinyl silhouette of Edward that you're meant to put in your bedroom. Cause, like, in the first book, Edward sneaks into Bella's room and "watches her sleep", unbeknownst to her. Purportedly to make sure she's "safe" (from creepy predators?) or some shit. It is merely one of the many anti-feminist aspects of the book that make me want to pull my hair out.

Well, wait no longer if you desire a creepy, silent, skulking male-figure to leer over you as you sleep! Three things come to mind when I look at this:

1. What happens when you wake up in the middle of the night and forget it's there? Srsly.

2. What sleeping partner would tolerate this?

3. LOVE the carefully disheveled hair!

It's time to make fun of shit

Soooooo, the next Twilight movie opens next week and I thought it would be amusing to blog about all the dopey Twilight shit I've been noticing online lately. It's slightly less depressing than the oil spill, right?

The first item is this DIY Twilight Clock, complete with instructions, as if

1. Hack Twilight images with child scissors
2. Haphazardly glue to a paper plate
3. Stab clock mechanism in the middle-ish
4. Congratulations, you have a shitty clock!

was not enough.

F.I.B.s

This weekend we went up to a Wisconsin for a friend's wedding - it was really beautiful and fun. The reception was held at The Family Farm - a petting barn, so we did some heavy petting before the reception, which featured a marvelous un-stuffy dinner of pulled pork and potato salad, which we gobbled up after being be-bibbed by the bride's mother.
M & M stay clean
After the wedding we stayed at at lovely little B&B in Cedar-Something, WI. It's a real cute little town whose entire socio-economic system seems to be completely built upon bakeries and candy shops. It also had approximately 3 Lutheran churches per square mile. I fear there are not enough hungry people to keep this town in business. Also Lutherans are notorious spendthrifts. Why buy a fancy truffle that was probably made by papists when you could make something jest as good with that frozen cookie dough at the Piggly Wiggly? So.

In ten years, I predict the town will be revived for a third time as a llama destination or something, and they'll give tours like this: "Cedar So-and-So started out as a mill-town that suffered an economic collapse at the advent of mass transportation and the preponderouslessness of the railroad car. In the early aughts it was revived into a bakery and chocolatier economy, which ultimately failed due to rising levels of diabetes and obesity, not to mention intense pressure from local Lutheran groups who believed the town was "putting on airs" with its Belgian chocolates and its Italian coffee. For years, Cedar ___ was little more than a ghost town, until a number of local llama farmers propelled the town from obscurity to world-class wool production. Or maybe alpacas." ¡Cuidado! ¡Ay Llamas!
Does anybody else remember this awesome bit on Sesame Street called "Me and My Llama"? It's about this kid who takes her llama to the dentist (in NYC for some reason?) Anyway, it's like, the best song you'll ever hear about a girl who takes her llama to the dentist. So, like, this llama was really grouchy and hissing and spitting (this is the wedding reception llama, not the Sesame Street thing), but later, he seems to warm up to me. And s/he* let me scratch it's head, and then. And Then! The llama put it's head very close to my head and it's fuzzy face-yness rubbed against my face, and I like to think he was whispering to me, "You're my true companion." My actual companions said s/he was probably just thinking about biting my ear.
A tiny baby miniature horse that resisted
being held in my arms like the tiny little baby it is. ):
But these sheep, these sheep were eating out of my hand.
*Honestly, I don't know the sex of the llama, but it was recently pointed out to me that most people assume all animals are male, which is kind of dumb, right?

Bons Mots

I had another not-so-great weekend because that cold I had last weekend reared its ugly head again. But, I'm always happy when I've got my one true love by my side, so it wasn't so bad. We watched a marathon of Californication, which I think is really hot, and is also encouraging me to curse even more than I do already. *gasp*

M and I went to see MicMacs: à Tire-Larigot. It's a new film by Jean-Pierre Jeunet (Amelie, City of Lost Children...) It's not as terrific as Amelie or City of Lost Children, but it's still pretty awesome, and we had a good time. The lead, Dany Boon, is a fantastic physical actor and comedian, who reminded me a lot of Rowan Atkinson and Roberto Benini. Incredible sets. The title translates to something like Shenanigans all the Time. It's about a man who joins this kind of rag-tag group of folks and together they try to take down a weapons manufacturer and a bullet-manufacturer. Dirty business. As in Amelie, Jeunet makes the film at once very old fashioned and very current. One of the characters loves proverbs and my french is just not so great to catch them all, but I know they weren't all directly translated, which is a shame. (I also love proverbs, in fact, I have a very good book of French ones if you do too called Les Bons Mots: How to Amaze Tout Le Monde with Everyday French.)

Husband made all my dreams come true and got me a hammock stand, now our backyard is something of a suburban wonderland, requiring only health and consistent sunshine to make it complete.

War with the Newts

Last night I saw a fantastic play produced by Next Theatre: War With the Newts, directed by Jason Loewith. My theatre-going-pal, M, is a fan of his and I'm so glad she invited me to this show! It was a really remarkable production.

The play is based on the 1936 book by Karel Capek, whose name Husband not only easily pronounced but also had some familiarity with his œuvre. (It turns out this guy invited the word "robot" back in 1921 in his book R.U.R. Rossum's Universal Robots. Yo. He knows that shit. I love him.) In the story, people discover and quickly learn to exploit this race of newts (or salamanders). And, then... the newts fight back!

Next Theatre employs a number of theatrical elements to tell the story, like puppets and slides and video, but rather than letting those things run away with the show (as they often do) it was really elegantly done. The art direction was stunning - it's amazing what they did to create mood and atmosphere. Deceptively simple set design. Really terrific performances by all.

The story is SO topical - exploitation of the sea (hello, oil crisis), capitalism run amok, disregard for well-being of others, alas, those universal themes are still hanging around our necks today. (Lately I had cause to marvel about how these "old" stories are surprisingly relevant today, and then I got surprised at my own surprise - human drama hasn't changed that much since Plato started writing.) I encourage you to check it out if you're in the Chicago area...

Oh, Cruel Fate

Finally, a long weekend, and boy did I need it! Alas, I woke up with a cold on Sat. morning and didn't shake it all weekend. That was super-sad and cut into my puttering-around-in-the-garden time, replacing it with laying-around-watching-crappy-tv, which I do all the time anyway. I rallied, because I had a lovely visitor from DC - my good friend, N, and we had a Memorial Day party today. It rained (ARG!) but we all had a nice time indoors.

I guess the question is, why do I think the universe is going to make things go my way? It hardly ever does, and yet I get upset when I get sick on a long weekend. Got to work on that. What do you think, Barbara?

*rubs hands together*

Oh, Sarah Palin! She never disappoints me. She's always got a little something to distract us from, oh, 210,000 gallons of oil that are gushing PER DAY into the Gulf of Mexico for the past MONTH. My idea? Soak it up with all the jerks that chanted Drill Baby Drill along with who? Oh yes, Palin.

She's oddly silent on the oil spill, but lately Palin did declare herself a feminist and set the (actual) feminist blog-o-sphere a-fire with mighty chuckles and reminders that, no, you can't just CALL yourself a feminist and make it so, just like I can't call myself a vegetarian and eat meat for dinner.

If you've been following along, you'll know that Meghan Daum in the LA Times wrote, "... I feel a duty (a feminist duty, in fact) to say this about Palin's declaration: If she has the guts to call herself a feminist, then she's entitled to be accepted as one." Well, sure, I might have the guts to call myself a size 2, but I will never be accepted as one.

So, Palin calls herself a feminist, for who knows what reason. Maybe she's confused about the meaning of the word, or maybe she's co-opting it for political reasons or whatever, but, by most people's definition, she's clearly not a feminist. She doesn't fight for women's rights, she actively fights against them. Done. Not a feminist. Meanwhile, in response to this, true feminists are calling her out on it. And then the types of asshats who troll feminist blogs pop up and say, Hey, lady, who are you to say who is and who ain't a feminist? And that's the part that makes me rub my hands together. It's a simple lesson but it gets forgotten: Words Mean Things.

More theatre! Food! and a New Movie!

Another fine Friday night at the theatre - this week to see Stage Door at Theatre Building Chicago. It was written in 1936 by Edna Ferber and George S. Kaufman and is surprisingly current! A real theatre-lover's kind of play about art and integrity and truth, etc.

Sat. night, Husband and I had a fine and much-anticipated date at Frontera Grill where all gastronomical desires were met. No Rick Bayless sightings.

I made another mini-movie culled from an Actual Conversation! Enjoy!

Item!

Anyone watching American Idol? By the time it gets to the end, who cares? Am I right? I like that Siobhan person, and Crystal. But otherwise it's totally snoresville. This week's Glee was terrific - I've been waiting for Neil P. Harris to guest star ever since that show came on the air. I Dreamed a Dream was awesome, in a way I never thought it could be awesome post-Susan-Boyle. I found myself mildly outraged as Kevin McHale's character Artie (spoilers!) got up out his wheelchair and sang "You Can Dance" but, the dancing was friggin' incredible and it turns out it was just a (spoiler!) dream anyway. I watched that sequence twice. I like how they shot it flash-mob style. Oh, snap! I just found out Joss Whedon directed that episode. Well, that explains everything.

I'm also watching Modern Family and Parenthood, although I think I'm going to drop Parenthood, despite it's stellar cast, because of it's ridiculously hackneyed story lines. That show plays like a G.D. 1980's family dramedy. It's like watching freakin' Family Ties or some shit. But Modern Family's good television.

recapping

We had a really awesome, busy weekend just past - I saw Cabaret with a friend at the Hypocrites theatre. I work with the actress who plays Sally Bowles and she's just incredible. She sang the most desperate version of Life is a Cabaret I've ever heard. It's a bold, brave performance and it's absolutely impossible for the audience not to be effected by the story. Some of themes in the play really reminded me of The Plot Against America, which I read recently.

Sat. we went to the posh Violet Hour and even had to stand outside in a line to get in, which made me feel super hip (for once). M ordered a drink called the "Tattooed Seaman", and so, you know, the jokes told themselves. And, Sunday we mucked around in the garden and then had a lovely dinner with friends.

Next week there is more theatre and more fancy dinners - I happened to make a reservation for Frontera Grill approximately three months ago (you read that right) and it's finally come around. More on that to come!

poetry time

Befriending Our Feelings

How could we forget those ancient myths that stand at
the beginning of all races - the myths about dragons that
at the last moment are transformed into princesses.
Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are only princesses
waiting for us to act, just once, with beauty and courage.
Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest
essence, something helpless that wants our love.

So you must not be frightened if a sadness rises before
you larger than any you've ever seen, if an anxiety like
light and cloud shadows moves over your hands and
everything that you do. You must realize that something
has happened to you; that life has not forgotten you; it
holds you in its hands and will not let you fall. Why do
you want to shut out of your life any uneasiness, any
miseries, or any depressions? For after all, you do not know
what work these conditions are doing inside you.

RAINER MARIA RILKE, Letters to a Young Poet

Sundays!

Lately we've been in this horrible routine where something in our house drastically breaks/floods/smokes/causes heartache on Sunday afternoon. Last week it was the washer, this week the GD refrigerator. Then, instead of merrily passing the day desperately trying to pretend we don't have to go to work tomorrow, we have to stress out and call appliance people/plumbers and beg them to come to our house in exchange for large amounts of money - cash - even, if they'll only come and allow us to carry on our ridiculous charade that the weekend goes on forever. And it ruins any good feeling we'd desperately built since leaving the office Friday evening.

It remains to be seen whether an elusive part will heal the machine or we'll have to get a new one. The only bright spot is that we could get an in-door ice crusher, which we've dreamed about lo' these many years.

Anyway, it's Mother's Day, and, per usual, I was unable to get moi's mother on the phone and only hope that she checked her email for my slightly unorthodox gift, which was a donation of 15 yards of fabric through Global Giving to a project for women in Uganda. I've been sort of dreaming about what the fabric might look like and hope that it's akin to the fabrics seen on the excellent HBO series No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency. Have you seen it? I've read most of the books too and it's really very, very good. Happy M Day, Momma. Love you...

Kick Ass

After Kick Ass came out, I heard that it had really graphic violence along the lines of Kill Bill and decided I was out. Then I heard it had a young girl (age 11 or 12?) who swore alot, and in fact, I heard that the graphic violence was disturbing but the little girl swearing was even MORE disturbing, and then I was like, I'm in.

Any way, we just saw it, and I'll tell you that the violence was pretty graphic, but not much more than like, any other violent movie out there, and that the little girl swearing was not disturbing. She says the "c" word (which I do not like nor use myself) once, and she says some other stuff. Of course, I am not disturbed or intimidated or frightened by women or girls expressing themselves, as many people are, which is where I'm quite sure all this nonsense about ohmygodit'ssodisturbingI'mgoingtocallmylocalrepresentativeanddosomethingaboutthis is coming from.

Which is not to say that it's a kids' movie or that even 10% of my vast reading audience would enjoy it.

I mostly thought it was merely representative of The Professional although not nearly as good. Because the movie is clearly about the actress (who's pretty cool - check out this NYT profile on her) and when it comes down to it, the character is really one dimensional (fault of script, not actress.)

Her IMDB is hilarious - it's like:
Tigger & Pooh and a Musical Too
My Friends Tigger & Pooh's Friendly Tail
Pooh's Super Sleuth Christmas Movie
Jack and the Beanstalk
Kick Ass

Next she's in an American remake of Let the Right One In. Ah, kids. They grow up so fast, don't they?

Douchebaggery

So, while we were in South Beach, we were having breakfast at a cafe, and this gigantic dbag sits down next to us and absolutely SCREAMING into his cell phone has the most inane conversation I ever heard. Naturally, I rushed home to write it all down and present to you one of probably first in a long, long series of total dbags being themselves.